Your Thoughts on this with my ex?

So I have read some of the books on getting your ex back and articles. So the common thing in all of them is no contact, some say 21, 30, 45 days of a period of no contact and even if your text calls or text dont respond. So one of these said that if your ex has a new boyfriend then you should do a breif time of 15 days nc and sat slowly building that atraction back towards you. texting and then phone calls and then a meet up for coffee or something. The logic behind it is to not try to break them up but to let the new guy break them up. The stress of her texting and calling me and then finally meeting me. who wouldn't be scared if your new girlfriend was texting and talking to her ex. The reason why im asking this is because my ex broke up with me a few days ago. leading up to this she was texting this one new guy all the time and snapchatting him. If she is going to start seeing someone new my money is on him. What are your thoughts if I do the 15 days of nc and then try and start building that attraction again?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If she is seeing someone else there is nothing you can do about it.
    But yes! you must not contact her. I did not contact my ex and he starting reaching out barely a few days after leaving me in tears. I did not reply his first messages emails etc, and started replying. I call this the don' initiate contact + the limited contact rules :)

    But to know how to act and what to response, look up coach corey wayne on youtube! He helped me a lot!
    I had to adapt some advice since I'm a girl...

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    • that cool tho so its work for you or not if it work are you be with him or you move on?

    • @amanwalia Yep worked for me. We are back together but be carefull. Don't apply pressure thinking all will be as it was before. We are taking things slow, seeing each other once or twice a week.

      I'm giving this one month, to see if eventually we'll see each other more often. But if things don't change, I plan to give up completly as for me seeing a person once/twce a week is just too little.

      by the way, I still do no initiate contact eventough we are back in a "relationship".

    • okay I got it

Most Helpful Guy

  • The advice you should have been reading is to FIND A NEW FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.

    No contact has ONE purpose -- to permanently eliminate another person from your life. The people who are telling you to try it for getting an ex back are teaching you to be emotionally abusive.

    Let me say that again. Emotional abuse. Manipulation. Using no contact to get someone to "like" you again is Emotional abuse. A form of violence.

    Get a new girlfriend. Talk to new people.

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    • That makes a lot of sense... see I think it's ok to be friends with ex's (maybe not right away, but after awhile) I'm good friends with a few and I barely remember they were my ex... but even if you want an ex back... you shouldn't use manipulation.. if they talk to you.. you should be nice.. and say hi... even contact them once in awhile.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Do you want to be with her again? Is the first question I'm going to ask and did she break up with you or did you break up with her

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    • Yes, I want to be with here again. The major reason she broke up with me was the distance of three hours. Im away at school last year, she graduated last spring. I can find a work and move where ever I want.

    • I'm sorry to say this but when a female has looked and talked to another male she is generally not going to want to get back with her ex. Especially since she graduated already and was not willing to wait for you, she does not want to be with you. I have seen friends get used by their partners because they were accessible and then boom! After graduation their bf/gf doesn't want anything to do with them.

  • leave the girl alone! she broke up with you, its over, move on gheeze. you're planning on ruining her future happiness before she even has a chance with someone new wtf

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    • This is so true... like my ex and I agreed to be friends.. starting talking off once in awhile, until we feel comfortable being friends... we were very close friends before getting together.. So I don't think either of us (I'm not really sure where her head is truly at) wants to lose the connection we had.. but we know it's weird right now.. she wants me to move on.. so we both can fully tell each other about our lives, etc.

  • I would say move on emotionally... in every manner... delete her from your life... because apparently she has already moved on... don't waste your time dude

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What Guys Said 1

  • brother don't need to go back if she want to go with some one else then fine. why are you so much into her... you know what my LDR going to call the police she just not did because she know about my future what I am going to do as she see the future with me. as my online friends are messaging her that why she going to call the police as I can't make her back again and again.

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