Is finding someone else a good way to get over someone?

I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and still hurts so much, I even feel sick.

Is a good idea to go out with other guy just to relieve the pain a little. And to the same things that you used to do with your now ex boyfriend?


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2023

Most Helpful Guy

  • Only if you have a genuine interest in the other guy or make it clear that you're just looking for something casual. I have to disagree with most of the responses here. I mean what you don't want to do is seriously date someone you know isn't right for you and lead him on. But if you do think he has a chance of being possibly right for you or you just want something casual and you make that clear, that's fine. Different people have different ways of coping.

    If one lost a friend, he or she wouldn't be told to keep to him or herself and not look for new friends, but rather the opposite - "Make new friends!"

    I personally think, if you can, casually dating or having some casual sex after a breakup is fine and a good way to alleviate some of the pain, not that I'd know, but from what I've heard and think hypothetically.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't bring a new guy in to it, it's not fair on the new guy to just be in to be 'that guy'.

    If you haven't already give your ex all his stuff back, sever all contact - stop following him or being his friend on social media, take away everything that reminds you off him - delete or store pictures away and put anything you have somewhere safe so once you're over it, you can go back to it. Step one to getting over it is to wallow in it, cry, be sad, watch Titanic.. The Notebook, Dear John etc then when you are all out of being sad, say to yourself "okay I've done that and I'm not gonna do that again" and stick by that. Second step is to be with your friends and other support means, spend time with them and enjoy their company, find yourself again. Third step is to go out of your comfort zone and do something new and be excited and happy again. Don't talk or contact your ex by any means, that will just be a back step. There is no 'right way' to get over an ex but the best thing you can do is to go back to your lifestyle that you had before your ex. You will move on, I promise and you will feel better, it's just the early days, they suck but the sadness doesn't last forever.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • The best way to get over someone is to realize that you don’t actually care one way or the other. But yeah, dating someone else is not a bad way to do it. just keep in mind that if you bring baggage from one relationship into another that one will end up all fucked up too.

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  • Going out with someone else is a good way to show yourself that you can move on without your ex. You do not need to get intimate or anything, just enjoy a good time. And you probably should not do the same things you did with your ex unless they were things you already enjoyed doing. You don't want to be reminding yourself of him.

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  • It's a very very bad way
    It might not even be a person you like. You're vulnerable during this time.

    You miss the moments with two, the feeling of being loved... You're pretty much using another person to get back those feelings...
    So don't do it

    Sit back, relax, and think about what went wrong in the relationship, about what kind of guy you like, you can learn a lot of who you are as a person during these times

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  • It's a way to hang on to your pain. Every guy you sleep with will remind you of him and you will compare them with you ex boyfriend. And it's really pitiful lol. It just shows to him how much he meant to you and will only make him feel better if he finds out.

    You should let it pass and not stir your feelings anymore. If you calm yourself down and stop doing anything about this it will go away. At first it might be slow but it will get faster and eventually you will make it.

    You are only reinforcing your thoughts about him and your feelings by your actions.

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  • Just get busy with life and enjoy every moment of it.
    I got laid on the same night after my girlfriend dumped me. It felt good that night but terrible in the morning. In order to get over her I deleted her number, blocked her on social media and started enjoying life. While being active I met a lot of people and had no time to think about my EX. Now when I see her we can have a conversation but I won't have any feelings for her even if she wanted to get back together.

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  • Everyone copes differently, Ms. Anonymous.

    Just don't be one of those girls that doesn't REALLY like a guy, but leads him on and uses him to drain compliments and affirmation from. Too many girls do that selfish bullshit.

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  • No, you need to take time and heal before you do. It's not easy obviously but if you date someone while you're hurt and feeling for your ex, you'll use and possibly hurt someone else.

    Having been rebounded before, all I can say is that it put me in the same situation and I ended up rebounding/serial dating and not knowing what I wanted with women I'd date afterwards. Plus it's not fair to the other person.

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  • Yes, it is a good way. Step one to moving on from a relationship ship is to stop talking to that person, and that includes keeping tabs, and the best way is by not thinking about them, and for some people, the best way to do THAT is by dating someone new, meaningful or not.

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  • No, get over it then get into another relationship. Using someone to help you get over an ex will only make you relationship dependent in the long run.

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  • Not at all, that's a mistakes that most woman do, you can't just cover pain by getting in a bigger problem, you need to be clear on your thoughts to date someone else or you will harm your self and the other new guy!

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  • It's something to do while you try to get over the loss, but in my experience it still leaves you empty unless you really like the person

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  • I find that people start to find other people as rebounds to ease the pain and forget about their ex, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It depends on the person. Maybe it'll be a lesson for you to figure yourself out and what you can improve and what you can look out for now.

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  • May be. But not so Fast , players usually aim for fragile women who just broke up, she is their favorite prey.

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  • No that's super unfair to the new guy.

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  • It's not just a good way, it's the best way.

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  • I would hope so.

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  • If you find a person to spend time with you meet a new of friends. So I does help but it's not that one person it's the whole event

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  • Well, humans were designed to favor intimacy, so yes, it would be helpful.

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  • You need more time, some day you'll be sick and tired of being sick and tired. It'll happen.

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  • No... I dated two women in my life who just got out of a relationship... Things get serious and they both cheated on me with their recent ex and ruined the trust...

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  • No, going out with someone right away, would make him a rebound, and you don't want that, nor does he. Just take your time, talk about it with friends or something, just get it off your chest

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  • Not really, its an empty promise. Spend time and focus on yourself. Go do something fun with friends and family, pick up new goals, do anything!

    The feeling will disappear eventually to the point you barely notice it. The world is yours so go take it =]

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What Girls Said 19

  • No, finding someone else to numb your heartache is only going to slowly and silently expand the issue. Doing that will numb your heartache but it won’t actually remedy it. Plus it’s wrong to use someone mentally, physically, emotionally, and sexually for your own greedy desires letting them think they mean more than what they really do.

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  • Is not always a good way. In my opinion is always better to process the breakup before getting involved with someone new, because it's not fair for the other person to be with someone that still misses his/her ex.

    But that doesn't mean you can't go out with guys at all. I'm just talking about trying to build a new relationship. But it's ok if you go out for drinks, have fun, go out with friends too and enjoy life.

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  • Not necessarily, the best way to get over a past relationship is to improve yourself. All the time you used to spend with your ex can now be used to improve yourself. So things like working out or improving one of your god given talents can be a great way to get over an ex. This is because you will now be spending your time on you rather than wasting it with someone else. Now is the time to rejuvenate your self esteem. Sure you can "see" other people but if you still have your ex in the back of your mind it's not really fair to that other person you are using to get the past out of your mind. That ex will still be there until you let him go.

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  • I used to go out with friends, meet people, relax and enjoy life. Date... date as often as you like. You don't have to have sex, you don't have to get serious, just go out and enjoy yourself... it always helped me.

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  • Yes. Any activity that takes you away from just thinking about your ex is helpful. Including dating someone new. But be careful about jumping into a full fledged relationship before you are fully over the ex.

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  • I don't think so. You should love when you're ready not when you're lonely. Besides, it sounds like you're trying to replace what you had with your boyfriend with someone else and sorry to bring it to you but that's not possible.
    Just try finding happiness on your own for now by finding a new interest, hobby etc. or start socializing more and maybe you'll end up making new friends or even meeting someone you're genuinely interested in who will make you even more happy than your ex ever could. More importantly, you'll be so busy enjoying life that you won't even have time to think about him

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  • no it's the stupidest thing u can do. u end up unhappy AND u still remember ur past relationship. nothing good comes from a rebound.

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  • I wouldn't say "just" to relieve the pain. But yeah I find the best way to get over the guy is to go out with someone else. You need to focus on someone new. If a guy asks you out and you think he's quite nice, go for it but be serious so you don't hurt him. Or have a fling, as long as he knows that's all it is

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  • No because you could use another person as a rebound which is hurtful. Take sometime heal and focus on who you really are.

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  • This would be classified as rebound, it's dangerous territory, you're super vulnerable right now, I would highly advise you to go out with your FEMALE friends over a guy, the wrong dude could easy take advantage of you due to your weakened state of being (vulnerability). Tread carefully...

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  • No, using people as a rebound is a really shitty thing to do.

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    • You need to learn how to deal with breakups while single.

    • Show All
    • @R3d_Anonymous she'll only learn that the only way to get over a break up is dating again. I'm all for getting back into the game when you feel ready but I seriously think you need time off from dating after a relationship. Things ended only a month ago for her so it's still a bit too early to get back to dating, I'd say. It's not that she should be drowning in emotional pain or that she should only be serious about dating. But dating is not an emotional crutch to stand on. You don't fill the hole of a break up with seeing other guys. That's not what dating is for. She can occupy herself with other fun things and appreciate being single again. You don't always have to be dating or in a relationship to be able to have fun. That only teaches her mind that she can't handle being single and that she should be seeing someone (casually or seriously) at all times, otherwise she'll feel pain. That's not healthy.

    • @R3d_Anonymous and, on top of that, even if she goes into dating casually, the one she dates might want to take things more seriously. It would be unfair to him, even if he didn't mean to catch feelings. And at that point she's just involving herself in a lot of unnecessary drama.

  • If you don't like using people then go for it, but it's a dick move.

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  • No, no one deserves to be a rebound. Whenever u get ur shit together then go out with someone else because even if u do meet a really nice guy, the fact that he'd be ur rebound would just ruin everything.

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  • i've always done that, not sure if it's good

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  • U should find it self and be happy with who u are then when its time the right guy will come along

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  • I don't see it that way. I'd never choose to do that because it wouldn't work for me. I need time for myself before deciding to date someone. But then again, we are not all the same, are we?

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  • Yes. Get a rebound. Most guys and girls do it all the time. I did it two days after me and an ex broke up a while ago. I was over him completely 4 days later. People say that meant I never had feelings for him but they aren't living my life to know anything. I'm not gonna sit around and cry over him especially if we're supposed to be moving on. Getting depressed over that isn't my thing. People are telling you to drown in your sorrows. You can do that if you wonna get depressed like I would or you can meet guys and girls and have fun. Make out or have sex if you want. If depressing is your thing than by all means... 😐

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    • I agree with this. People are telling the Asker to unnecessarily drown in her emotional pain.

      MHO right here.

    • @R3d_Anonymous Yeah totally agree. They're crazy. People get depressed like that.

  • That's called a rebound and will only make you feel worse

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  • Personally, i don't think it is a good idea. You need to heal before you enter into a new relationship. If you don't, you will cause yourself further pain. Rebound relationships usually fail, so the temporary happiness is not worth the long- term pain.

    If you are not over your ex it would be unfair to a new guy. You could end up causing him to feel the hurt you are feeling now... if he starts to have feelings for you. It would be so sad if he gave you his heart when you are still picking up the pieces of your own.

    Your heart is stronger then you imagine. It can be played, cheated, ", burned" and broken, but it will mend and you will love again. Be patient with yourself, because it's easy for your head to let go, but not so easy for the heart.

    The pain is still raw at the moment. So try to be strong on your own , so that when you meet someone else you can build a good relationship without the past destroying it. Good luck xx 💜

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