Why do I get dumped by geeks/nerds?

I'm feeling a bit self-conscious because my last 2 dating experiences with geeks didn't work past 3 months. I like geeks therefore they are in my mind, dated other sorts that didn't work past 3 months but don't really care about those. I have long relationships with geeks though they were both culturally geeky but arts major sort not science sort. My last 2 had been the computer programmer sort.

The last one we met on tinder and he initiated things first. We connected very well in person but i realise after getting off tinder, he'd initiate text very little, though would usually respond quite fast. This made me feel insecure. I'm not the sort who would wait and often initiated texting instead. He'd still be the one who asks me out. We dated about 2 months but just about 3 weeks ago I asked if he'd go to a stand up show with me he responds but leaves me hanging about whether he wanted to go. The next day I asked if he was alright and admitted I get bad vibes when I'm not hearing from him, he then tells me he was busy. I wrote that I understand but if it was possible to drop a message when he is... no response. I asked later again if he was busy at work and he tells me what he’s working on. I leave him to be but the weekend comes and goes (5days) and still i don't hear from him.

I ask on Mon if he was alright, and he says he is down but nothing happened, i asked if it was a mood thing but he doesn't respond. The next day I asked if he was still up for the stand up but no response. I got more impatient and asked if he was trying to end things and he says he needs time alone, so i asked for how long, again silence. 2 days later, a public holiday, I saw he was on Tinder (last seen) and asked him in a joking way “Are we both back to swiping? Any good ones?"...
... He goes back to text and says he wasn't swiping but just checking a message that came and asks to meet up over the weekend. Somehow I just felt very insecure, it felt to me like it was going to be a break up meet up. I said sure and waited but he doesn't say the plans and so i asked when he wants to meet up…no response...
so i tell him I am really tired of asking questions that don't get answered and that we don't have to meet up if he doesn't want to and that i was ok if he just wants to say it over text. He then says it could be because he hasn't thought of anything to do yet so it turns out i was presumptous. That meet up turned out to be like a normal date and i enjoyed it until we went back to his place and then he breaks it to me that he doesn't think he could be the boyfriend I want


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm really sorry to tell you, but the guy basically told you he didn't want you as his girlfriend. I'm just going to be honest here, you are a little pushy. He doesn't think of the two of you dating, while you clearly imply to him that you want to and rather act like you already are. This is irrelevant to his geekiness.

    Just leave him be for a little longer. If he wants to stay in touch, he'll contact you one way or another.

    You're tired of asking questions that don't get answered, so stop asking those questions. He won't answer them no matter how many times you'll repeat 'em.

    He might want you, but he also wants you to keep your distance a little. Try to be friends first, see where things develop from there.

    • I'm just so use to guys that I get along being responsive and just as interested. I am also not exactly the passive kind. Does that mean that I'm going to fail/not compatible with men who are not communicative? Who would be though?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, you just sound really annoying. If you kept bugging me i wouldn't respond either.


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