Does a break from the relationship ever work?

My girlfriend and I are going through a rough patch and trying to figure out what to do. I'm just curious as to whether taking a break, and coming back to the relationship in a few months would ever work. Do people have the motivation to return to the relationship? Is the relationship happier, generally?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Taking a break can seem like a good idea, but it depends on a few key factors that you must consider carefully.

    1. Why do you think taking a break would help? In other words, why do you need space from your partner?

    There are only a few instances I can think of where taking a break might be better than just breaking up. If your partner cheats on you and you need to sort out your feelings, for example, would be one reason.

    2. What would the conditions of the break be?

    Is this a complete break from the relatinship, or a partial one? Would seeing other people be considered, or just a break from talking to each other? These things need to be made VERY clear if a break is going to happen

    3. How long would the break be?

    You said a few months in your question, and honestly, that seems like a long time. Unless one of you will be away (like in the military or something), for a good while, any longer than 2 weeks is probably too long.

    If you are having issues in your relationship, working them out with your partner is always the best way to go if you want to keep the relationship. Taking a break will put space between you. You will both walk away from your problems instead of facing them. If you aren't able to overcome the challenges of life with your partner, then maybe they aren't the best match for you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My girlfriend and I went on a semi-break that lasted 6 months. I say semi because we still texted everyday and had catch up dates about every other month. We had been together for 3 years at that point and there was a lot of problems throughout that we both needed to sort through. Ironically enough, I asked about it on this site too. After it was over we decided to "start back over" but with better communication this time. So coming from someone who went through it, only do it if you want to be with this girl for the long haul. At your age, I'd be hard pressed to say it would be worth it. Once you get to college that's a whole other animal, especially if you go to different schools (which we did). It worked for me and my girl so people saying it never works out are just being pessimistic. But again, unless you lucked out and found "the one" at 17 then I'd say just try to move on.

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What Girls Said 28

  • Taking a Break, is healthy for sure, @NichG4, and if there is problems in Paradise, this will give you and the SO a chance for a new romance with your relationship, should you decide as you take this ride, that you Both... Are Missing the Kissing and the history you both shared.
    Keep in touch, however. However long you decide to make the 'Break,' I find it also 'Healthy' and advisable to not put one another totally on a back burner but keeping in contact a bit during the week, at least keeps the Open lines open for convo and on top of This... Nursing and nurturing something more special.
    Good luck. xx

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  • In my experience, yes it has worked. But on the other hand it can also put a strain on the relationship as well. Do you guys trust each other? If you do, then by all means a break from your relationship could have long term benefits. If you don't trust each other then it probably won't work. You guys will maybe start accusing the other of "messing around" with someone else. Even if that's truly not the case, it may still cause emotional distress and definitely put a damper on your relationship. A "break" from your partner is supposed to mean that you guys just need space and time apart while you work on your relationship. As long as you are both on the same page then it could be a good route to take. My boyfriend and I took a three month break back two years ago and ever since then we have been closer than we ever have been. I think it truly just boils down to you guys and if you are willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work. Good luck!

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  • From my experience if you need to take a break because things aren't working, that's a red flag in itself that you have to separate to work out the issue. I think it shows weakness and lack of motivation and communication to try and reconcile. I know a few people who have had breaks in their relationship and most of the time that's the start of a downhill spiral and things just get worse from there and issues aren't resolved as well as they were before the break.

    I think the key to successful break is establishing between the two of you what is to happen whilst on the break, go through issues such as, do we stay in contact - If so, how often? Will we still be committed to one another? How will we decide that the break is enough time?

    It can work but only if both people are entirely committed to reconciling.

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  • I had a break and it did make me want to work harder and gave me a fresh outlook on the relationship but unfortunately, my ex came to the conclusion that we weren't worth fighting for. It can really open your eyes, but there's a risk that one of you will not want to continue.

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  • My boyfriend and I had a break that lasted two months when he was going through some stress with college and things were rough for us but it all worked out and we're still together, but I think it really just depends on the person.

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    • Actually you took a break so you and your boyfriend are back together not still together

    • Well at the same time the break was just so he didn't feel as pressured with the added stress of finding time for me. It technically wasn't that we split or anything. And besides that the break was about 2 years ago and we are still together.

    • The break was just time away from each other

  • A few months? That's ought to not be a good sign. Give it a day or two (maybe even three) but don't leave things undone, undone.

    It will only be worst if you drag it out..

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  • Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union took a break and then got back together and got married a year later. Of course during the break Dwayne Wade got a chick pregnant. But he's a famous basketball player and has millions so all is forgiven. -_-

    In short going on a break is not a good idea. Like others have said a break is essentially a breakup with the option to get back together after a certain period of time. During this time the other person might realize the grass is truly greener on the other side while the other realizes the grass isn't greener. Someone always gets screwed over. So either work through this rough patch or just end it for good.

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  • It doesn't work to take a break with a scheduled get back together date on the horizon. What happens on a break is you either realize you want and need that person in your life or you don't the time line for discover that varies for each individual. If you do take a break fill that void with other things, friends, work, hobbies and yes dates with new people. That's teally the only way the break will work in helping you decide.

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  • It did work for me, but I dont think it would work for every situation.
    My ex had started to have mental breakdowns due to PTSD (he was a soldier in Afganistan). We were in our senior year of college and he left and needed time to pull himself together. He went on a break for 2 weeks. I was devistated, angry and confused. But he came back and we have been stronger than ever a year later. We now life together. So yes in my case it worked.
    But honestly I think it all depends on how much you two really care about eachother. Are both partners willing to make it work? Are you able to move forward after so much pain? Or is it easier to walk away after time?

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  • I think it totally depends on the nature of the break and why.

    So for instance, if you are living together if the break means one person moves out I think thats bad.

    Say you live apart and you've just had a child and you need some space to get used to being a parent with a baby. That's different.

    Just because breaks don't work for some people doesn't mean that it won't work for you.

    Good luck.

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  • It really depends on the people in the relationship. I think breaks can be a good thing because for the first time you are like the "third party" who is looking in. Here is the opportunity you have to evaluate the relationship : decide if its what you want or if there are things that you can change to make it better etc. After you make your decisions and you get back together things should be a little better. However in general all relationships have their ups and downs.

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  • It depends on how bad or how much you both want the relationship. I believe you should reach out and seek some answers because it would save your time and heart from being broken.

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  • Honestly learned from experience that "breaks " don't always work out because one person might lose interest and meet someone else. try and work things out and if you see that it doesn't get better then you know what you have to do

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  • just set some boundaries and maybe don't talk to her for a couple of days. than maybe you guys will miss eachother.

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  • It can work... However, during time of separation both of you basically have the freedom to meet other people, and that could be risky for a comeback

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  • It really depends on the couple and how committed they are to wanting to make it work. Some couples do it as a way to refocus themselves, others use it as a stepping stone to completely end things.

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  • Had a break and never got back with him.

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  • That's what Ross thought

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  • Taking a break, is practically breaking up. There really is no point in taking a break, if you still love each other, if you're in a relationship its safer to keep talking and try to sort it out together :)

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  • No I don't think it works, when we got back together after the break there was too much comparing who did what and we could never really trust each other again.

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  • Usual it doesn't from my experience, I feel like they are trying to say I want to leave you but I'm too scared to actually say it, but I think sometimes it works it depends on the situation though. & if they do really love you they'll always come back.

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  • Sometime when you take a break it can really help the situation it has happened to me before. Spending time away from them can make the relationship stronger. But also it depends on the person cause like if you meet someone else on break then it can completely affect whether or not you get back together so in all honesty it really depends on what happens in that time off

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  • It did for Prince William and Kate Middleton :)

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  • Not from what I've witnessed.

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  • Nope, might as well just break up

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  • I don't think taking a break works.

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  • From what i've seen, whenever people take a break, they usually find someone else or get over that person during that time. So no, the relationship most likely will not be happier.

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  • No it is never good. Your relationship will likely end all its doing is postponing. Waste of time. If you feel like you need a break I reccomend just ending it and moving on especially at your age. You need to enjoy life and having relationship issues should be saved for later in life :)

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What Guys Said 17

  • I suppose a break may work in some cases, but honestly i've never seen a break work. typically a break has essentially been the beginning of the end in situations i've seen. people hope things will change but the only thing that has tended to change was their feelings towards each other waning.

    I'd do what i could to try and work things out while together

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  • Honestly, I don't think that is necessarily a good idea. It sounds very close to avoiding the problem rather then solving it. That isn't to say time apart can''t and/or isn't healthy but rather a "break" from the relationship seems to be an avoidance tactic rather then a time to develop sperately, though it would depend on the situation. So what are the issues you are having.

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  • "Taking a break" is a way of breaking up slowly.

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  • I don't think so. In my experience, it only prolongs the inevitable. If you're "taking a break" from the relationship, it typically means at least one of you is already halfway out the door. I'd say hope for the best, but expect the worst in this situation. You could try couples counseling, if you're both actually interested in saving the relationship. I've never done it myself, but I've heard people say it can work

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  • It depends on the people. I've seen it work both ways in my life, and in the lives of my friends.

    Generally speaking, it ends in a break up. (sometimes they remain friends, other times it ends fairly badly.)

    But it has been known to happen that they get back together and end up happier for it.

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  • You're never going to get closer, by moving farther apart

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  • A break doesn't work man. Don't go there.. Trust me 😔

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  • Usually it spells the end being near.

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  • do you want to lose your girlfriend? because that´s how you lose your girlfriend. 100% of cases i personally know ended up in tears because one of both fucked another person in the "break"

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  • For the most part it doesn't, but there are some relationship that has worked out because of a break as long as it's only for a few months

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  • Taking a break is not successful. You two need to grow and become stronger, together. Taking a break is giving up

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  • I wonder how many people who say "taking a break is good" cheated on their significant other during the break because it "doesn't count"

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  • It depends on your situation. I have never seen it work out in my experience, mostly cause the one suggesting the break usually wants out anyways, they're just too afraid to come out and say it.

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  • Delaying the inevitable, break up, find yourselves and maybe you'll even end up coming back together in time. That's what happened with me and my girlfriend.

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  • No. Break = breakup. Just get ready for bigger and better things.

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  • If you need a "break" the relationship is not worth fighting for.

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  • Either you stay together or you don't

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