More than just sex?

Short version: one drunken night-stand led us to being friends, then eventually sex buddies. we never talked about what it was, our feelings, etc. 4 months after this "fling", i told him i had feelings. he did not return those feelings -- then he got angry bec i called him a player. my friend also warned the girl he was talking to -- he was just angry w me for it.

the first time i told him i had feelings, we ended it. then we talked again, he found out i told people he's a player, we ended it again. he eventually forgave me. all of this was in a span of 9 months. one day, i knew this wasn't going somewhere. we werent even close and all we talked about is sex. we had sex more than a couple of times, but i moved away and he remained in touch with me. a lot of snapchats there and here, since i moved here. i was starting to feel he was using me for company, for stroking his ego, for giving him attention. he knew i liked him and he probably felt safe with me bec he thought i was not goin anywhere.

one day, i was fed up. i decided to ignore him for a while, thinking he would get the hint and move on. i did not think he cared. but he did contact me and asked me why i was quiet? i did not answer. he asked again. finally i told him im done. i was tired of feeling just a sex object to him. he was like fine u need more from me, whatever peace out. im like no this is not about me needing more from you, i lost interest thats all it is. he said "you cld have said that, makes things easier" -- that was it. i ended it (the third time) thinking he did not give a flying f***. the next thing i knew, he deleted me off social media. this surprised me -- so guys, why do you think he deleted me off if he acted like he had no problems with me losing interest in him? does this mean he actually had feelings for me all along? pls, help me understand a guy's mind


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's what I'm doing now. I got dumped, tried to be friends but it was preventing me from getting over her, soooo I havnt spoken to her for 1 month. I feel guilty because I know she cares about me & she still offered friendship. But this is the only way I can move on. Its not easy because its actually making me think more about her, but I have to do this because I know she doesn't want me in her life romantically. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to do letting go of someone just so I can move on. I feel I will always have feelings for her even in 10 years time.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He deleted/unfriend you in order to make it easier for him

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What Guys Said 3

  • Guys can be as intimidated about the serrious parts of a relationship just as girls can be. If there's not a commitment most men and women will just move on with no hard feelings cause there's no point in wasting feelings and the work if its not reciprocated.

    In the case of this guy he probably figured if he cut his communication with you there would be no hard feelings since it sounds like you ended it quite coldly.

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  • He does not see you two remaining friends. Since there is no friendship, there is no reason to be connected via social media.

    Lots of guys view there Facebook friend list as a current representation of their social life, not a history of every friend they have ever had.

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    • he has over 1,000 friends and i know he has history with a lot of girls he had a thing with. whats different about me? my friend thinks its bec im the very first girl that rejected him

    • There is no possible future for him with you. That fact alone makes you different from all his Facebook friends.

      Flip this around. What would you consider your status with him? If you are not friends IRL, why would you think that you should remain friends on Facebook?

    • its funny, he did end it w me in the summer and i did delete him off social media. the reason why i did that bec i was hurt. he eventually forgave me, and we talked again. and then i turned the tables around on him, pretty much. now he deleted me off. its not about us not being friends anymore. i ended it w him bec of how he made me feel but i did not expect him to delete me off, bec he specifically said he had no problem w me ending it bec he understood

  • But, but, you were done with him... He deleted you because you two were done. Why would it sound weird? Of course you hurt him. If he didn't care at all, why would want to see you? It can hurt even if it's only for sex. Deleting you is a way of getting over you. He's doing what must be done to forget you.

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    • its weird bec all those 9 months, he never told me how he felt about me. not even once. so him deleting me off - its not him. not the guy i knew for 9 past months, he always had that idgf attitude. girls r the one who always delete him bec he couldnt give them more. he never deletes girls. thats why his friends n my friends r shocked he deleted me off.. its the first time i realized he cared

    • Well, now you know why... Maybe he cared more than he thought himself?

What Girls Said 1

  • Because you said you were done with him and you lost interest in him. He probably just doesn't want to have to think about you anymore if he's not going to have you in his life.

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