If you broke it off, then I understand his predicament. You break it you fix it. If he broke it off then maybe he's testing the waters.
What do you mean by testing the waters?
Testing the waters means wants to see how things go before making a commitment.
You think that's what he's doing? But he doesn't contact me all the time. Does that matter? This been going on for 6 or 7 months though with breaks of not talking for a month or 2 In between. Does that matter?
With breaks of a month or two, this suggests he calls you when he's lonely or he wants an occasional friends with benefits.
How come? I'm the one that stops talking to him because I get frustrated with him
How come? I think you are his backup girl.
How? I'm the one that cuts off contact.
Have an opinion?
If the ex is still involved in your life. . . you haven't broken up.
We have and he hasn't asked me to get back together. Why?
Perhaps you are simply not having sex now. When you break up with someone, you don't see them anymore.
No we definitely are, that and kissing and cuddling and holding hands while cuddling and sleepovers. Last time I was there he's head was proped up against mine when we were cuddling.
And you say you are broken up! Whatever that phrase mean in your world, to most of us, break up means "goodbye, get out of my life, I never want to see you again." It sounds like "breaking up" is a game you play with pretend rules. Don't take my word for it. Post a question: "My boyfriend says we are broken up, but he spends the night and we cuddle and have sex. Are we really broken up?" See what kind of responses you get.
Yes I know it's weird that is why I'm so confused what he's intentions are? But seriously we are because I don't see him nearly as much or talk to him, don't keep stuff at his place, don't have a key anymore to his place. I even asked to get back together once and he said " I don't want to get back together now ". So what does that mean? And what would you call this then?
It sounds like he may just be keeping you around for sex until he finds someone else.You should tell him that breaking up means that you don't see each other any more, there are no sleep overs, no cuddling, no sex, he is free to start looking for someone else and you are free to do the same. If he wants to be broken up, that is how it will be and if he doesn't want to be broken up, then things return to the way they were before. However, it doesn't sound like things will get better if you stay with him so the best suggestion would be for you to really and truly break up with him, but I understand that you may not be ready to implement that decision.
No I don't want that to happen? If I stay in his life he can't get over me, right?Why do you think he's just keeping me around until he finds someone new? I don't really think that is it because why would he keep me around, he never been a really sexual guy where he needed it all the time
Once you have had sex on a regular basis, it is hard to give it up. But he is holding at a distance from him, not letting you get closer emotionally. It sounds like he is using you until something better comes along.
We'll he's definitely not contacting me for it every day or weeks. Also it's not like he has sex with me and that's it. He does all the cuddling, kissing, hugging, and hand holding too. I mean last time we were together we were cuddling and he's head was proped up by mind so they were leaning on each otherNow does that sound like the actions of some one using you?
Okay, I'm just taking educated guesses, trying to help you, and everything I say is wrong, so you obviously have a better understanding of what's going on. Pease explain it to me.
No I don't know I'm just asking do all those things sound like he's using me to you? My thoughts are a guy that's using you would get sex then after either throw you out or be disinterested in anything else from you such as cuddling, no?
Guys need cuddling, too, though they will rarely admit it. He is getting some needs met with you but he is still keeping you at a distance emotionally. He is either "punishing" you or keeping you at a distance so he won't fall while he waits for something else to happen.
Then why would he lean he's head towards mine while cuddling.
Because guys are better at separating physical affection from love. He still refuses to ask you to reunite your relationship, right? That's the bottom line.
Yes but I don't know why?
He might be waiting for you to ask to get back together
But then when I did he said "I don't want to get back together now " so I don't know why?
The smug me would've asked if not now then when?
We'll I didn't so how can I tell when he is ready?
I don't know. Why not forget him and find someone you're more compatible with
I am compatible with him. I don't want Noone else, I love him.
If you were compatible you'd be together and not have broken up
Oh really? People break up a lot but there not always incompatible. We were together for a couple years anyways
Shouldn't years of being together mean that we are?
Not to me. It means it took that long to find out you're not compatible
So The Only Reason People Break Up Is Because there Incompatible?
Or feelings have changed
That's the only 2 reasons?
Can you think of any others?
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