I had a very upsetting conversation with my ex today. I confessed that I still had feelings, and he (somewhat harshly) told me he no longer did and never would again.
How the hell do people just... no longer be in love with someone? He used to be so in love with me. I don't get how people just turn this on and off when it's so hard for me.
Most Helpful Guy
I love you. <31
Most Helpful Girl
Love is forever for me, but it changes over time. I have one ex that I was very in love with, and breaking up was terrible for a few months... but in that time my love began to change. It wasn't romantic anymore. I still love him, but I love him without any romantic feelings. It's like I am happy with the memories I have with him, and how much I grew during our two years together. I love him for being a great person and for letting me go when I needed to. I love the change he was for me. I am really having a hard time explaining it!
Anyway... it's going to hurt for a while, and it's not going to be easy. Don't try to change or challenge what you feel. Be sad. Be angry. Be confused and frustrated and upset. Let the storm pass, and your skies will calm down. There's no magic trick for getting over a break up, just as there's no magic trick for falling in love. It just happens when it's ready.
People who seem to turn these feelings on and off are faking it somewhere. Either they weren't honest in their feelings during the relationship, or they are hiding their pain after it ends. There's nothing wrong with you. Being emotive is healthy and strong.
Take care of yourself, and spend some time alone and with friends if you are up to it. Don't try to force the love you feel away. It will transform into something peaceful if you give it time to rest.1