Should I feel guilty for breaking up with my boyfriend? Serious question... Really need some advice?

Hello. So my boyfriend (29) and I (20) have been together for 4 months. It was a fast fall, we spent every day together, and he was the one to fall first. But I was so sure of us, and I believed he was meant to be in my life for a great long time.

Since then, I've moved back to my college town for my third year. It's only an hour from where our homes are. He was with with parents at the time because of bank issues, but he fixed that and decided to buy his own place... He decided to buy a town home in my college town. The past month he has been moving in, painting the place, buying furniture... And he always said it was because he believed in us and thought we could be great.

However... I see him for who he is now. Being away from him because I've been busy, I've seen the light I guess. It's sad really.. And confusing because I don't know how my feelings for him just completely disappeared. I feel more annoyed with him and like he honestly is like a nobody to me. I lost my v-card to him and he was my first real boyfriend... I thought I would have deeper feelings but they've vanished entirely. I fee nothing for him anymore. Mostly because he doesn't respect of value me really.. He has anger issues as well. He's very self centered and arrogant. Really, I don't know what I ever saw in him. I can't believe I'm typing this because a month ago I stood up for him in all parts of life.

i have not told him at all about these recent feelings. They've only gotten stronger the past 2 weeks. I've also kinda met someone else, and I realize that I never was in love with my current boyfriend.. I never adored him. I want to tell him this Sunday but I feel so guilty because he spent $140,000 on a house and has boughten his own place here because of me. If it wasn't for the house, I wouldn't feel guilty because I can't help what I feel. What do I tell him?


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  • First you don't owe him an explanation. You are a growing mature woman. 👏From what I have read. Men have done worst. He is a grown man at 29. He will get over it. You be honest and tell him. You see him as a friend and don't want to waste his time. Spare the details non of his business. Being the "arrogant , "self centered" angry man. He will be fine. Only because u feel like you own him an explanation. You are lucky and smart enough to see the red flags. You sound a lot like me.. Around your age. I dated older men my whole life. At 16 lost my virginity to a guy in his late 20's. I wasn't even dating him.. But I never let them /him play me. Those feelings don't always happen. When you lose your virginity. I think it's more so the relationship and the mindset of the girl. That caused that attachment. Him spending 140k on moving is not your problem either. Its like your trying to feel sorry for him.. Why..

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  • Don't feel guilty just tell him you don't have the feeling you once did and you think it's time to go your selerate ways. Don't baby him he's an adult lay the facts out and move on.

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    • I did just that. Thank you!

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