Just got dumped over text, what should I do?

My ex boyfriend of 3 years & 5 months (known him for almost 10+ yrs) decided to break things off because of what happened between us.. he told me he can't forgive himself for what happened and told me he doesn't want to put us through those problems again. We were toxic and abusive mentally and physically to each other, but we were slowly getting past it. Our communication could of been better, we're both stubborn and hardheaded.

We've know each other since we were 14-15. Met online, and dated online. We we're on and off talking for years until we met each other and got together in 2012. I'm 25, he's 26 now. We were long distance. I'm from CA, he's from Oregon/WA.

Our our relationship at first was amazing, he was always the weird one out of his group and never really socialized much or went out with friends, but I accepted that and he was always so sweet and good to me. Things started to change as they always do in relationships, but I felt like he started to take my love for granted. He used to tell me when we were younger that he wanted to get hitched to me, and that we'd travel to Japan which was often a big topic we talked about a lot. That stopped though at least a year in a half into our relationship once he got his career going. Before he started his career he said that it was going to be for us, to start our future together. We lived together for 8 months and things turned rocky. Then he decided that it was best I should head home so we could work on ourselves while being long distance again, and get better for not only ourselves but for each other. It was both our first time living with a partner.

I went up there to see him last week... I didn't tell him or anyone really. It was just out of the moment or a last minute thing. He originally asked beforehand about having a 2 week no contact break. I didn't know how to feel about it. I visited him to get some clarity..

Updates:
Post continued..

Things seemed fine, he treated me normally, he said he still loved me, we got intimate, and we spent some time together. I knew he didn't want me there... he was going behind my back telling my dad that he wanted me back home and then telling me something different. He added me back into a relationship with me on Facebook because I told him my boundaries if we were going to just take a break of no contact for 2 weeks and he agreed to them.
When I got back home, that's when he blocked me off FB, and then he dumped me thought text. He told me he couldn't tell me in person because he was afraid of how I would of reacted.

What upsets me, and hurts me the most is that he couldn't just be straight with me. He led me on, he used me. He got shady. The one person that I care about so much and he does that to me. He even mentioned about us staying as friends... how can I? What if he was just saying that to break things off nicely?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 3+ years and by text
    He is not worth shit

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Most Helpful Girl

  • oh my fucking god :( I would ball my fucking eyes out. I am so utterly sorry. I feel this so hard. There is no pain worse than the ONE person you thought understood, was there for you through hell and back REGARDLESS of the situation, the guy who you would do anything for treats you like you weren't the love of his life at one point. I can't believe the shadiness. I could never just cold turkey drop someone from my life like that honestly. That is the shittiest way to end a relationship and if I were you I would just take it with a grain of salt and tell him you DONT want to be friends becaues friends dont fuck their friends lie to their faces and break their heart when they turn their backs on them. That isn't fucking friendship, that is emotional abuse sweetie. There will be a guy who will think you're the moon and more and even if it was time to say goodbye- he wouldn't be able to do it so easily because of what you mean to him. I am so sorry, honestly. Screw him

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    • I told myself I'll just give him time alone. That I won't bother him and just leave him be. I can't face reality at the fact that I'm losing him. Not just as a lover, but as my best friend too. We started off as friends...
      Right now I'm all feeling desperate. I don't want him to see that. Sad part is... I want him back... but I don't know if he ever wants that with me again. A relationship or if he's even worth it since he could just leave me like nothing. So far it's been 5 days no contact. It's killing me. He hasn't blocked me off Instagram or PSN either, and I haven't been strong enough to block him myself. I know I should move on... but I felt like he was the one... maybe we just rushed into things too soon. =[

    • I know how you feel. You're pining hard. You know what you want and it hurts even more because you can't have it. That is the worst type of heartbreak in my opinion. Unrequited love, feeling unwanted and at the same time he is all you want so you keep that candle burning in your heart. My best advice is to show him what he's missing. You can't forget the history you shared- its undeniable. You probably can't even imagine your life without him. But if he was any sort of friend he'd want you to be happy with out him and you should try to do that on your own. You were really young and he was your first love. Try to figure out who you are outside of him and maybe figure out why things went wrong. You won't get over him quickly, but if you try you could probably find another guy. I know the feeling of desperateness and nothing is worse :/

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I didn't read it but just get over him. He's obviously not worth it if he broke up with you. Breaking up means "I dont want you anymore". Get over him and DO NOT be friends with him. Make him invisible. Don't talk, text, hang out, be nice, NOTHING. He's nothing and treat him like nothing. Listen to "Miss Moving On" by Fifth Harmony. It helped me A LOT

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    • Agreed. You really do need to pretend like this guy doesn't even have a pulse or a name. Move on from "Im sad mode" to "Fuck that guy I'm over him and I'm going to go on another date because I'm 20 something and desireable and hot af mode" :P

    • @Xoxoxooo123 Exactly!! lol. @LeahG <--- what she said. Pretend he doesn't exist girl

  • You should be happy your relationship was shit he gave you a chance to find someone better!

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