Boyfriend broke up wth me yesterday deleted everything off facebook of us and joined tinder the same day! Why is he being like this?

I can't believe this has happened, it was all so sudden. My then boyfriend and me had been together 2 years, we were planning our future together to move away together and everything. We had had our ups and downs but he was quite lazy and immature and I used to nag a lot he found it hard communicating a lot which made things difficult, but through it all we loved each other. He dumped me last week and said he found being with me too stressful and a day later he messaged me saying he needed to talk, he was sad and realised he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. He said he needed to change and grow up and that he thought about marrying me a lot we had such a great week together and he was wonderful. On the weekend I got a bit moody at him as he was messing plans to meet up and he stormed off home saying he couldnt see me today and wanted space. I didn't understand and got upset and kept texting him about him not caring I was upset which probably got his back up I realise, but I was very apologetic the next day but he said it was over and deleted everything about our relationship off facebook. He said hed hope we could be friends eventually and didn't delete me as a friend but after all he's done why delete every part of my existence on his social media? He even deleted comments Id made on photos and everything, really thorough like. Then my friend found him on tinder, he had only joined that day it made me feel sick he could just move on that quickly He doesn't seem to feel bad at all. And I am hurting so much. Why is he doing this? I ended up deleting him off facebook, I started to feel hate for him treating me like this and being so disrespectful to just move on so quick. How could he throw everything way I got on with his family, and everything I was so good for him and now he's just walking away so easy. It hurts me so much, why is he so cold?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • only read the heading.

    he's doing it to put a physical barrier up between him and the relationship which he now wants in his past. for many after a breakup we need to emotionally wall off the past, and one way to do this is to physically wall it off... almost so you can't be reminded of it

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    • He did it straight away though almost out of anger just part of me hopes he regrets doing that and misses me cuz he does care about me. I'm hoping hell realise he's made a mistake in time cuz i did do so much for him

Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually recently went through a similar situation this past month. I've thought long and hard about. My ex broke up with me because he didn't want a future with marriage and kids for his life. He told me I deserve better and all of this nonsense. I would say a few days later found him on a dating site saying he is looking for long term and wants children. I, like you, was heartbroken and questioned everything. He also deleted on stuff off social media. The more i think about it I think they do this stuff so they don't have to deal with the pain of seeing the reminders and possibly questioning their decision in the end. Women hurt right away it takes time for men to feel it. You have to work on yourself and making you happy. He's being selfish and now is your time to be as well. Join a site, go out meet new people, indulge in things for yourself. It's not easy believe me I'm going through it now. It's going to be a rollercoaster but you have to think there is someone out there who wouldn't do that to you. I hope this helped a little. Not much people can say to make you feel better I know!

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    • Maybe he just used that as an excuse? Cuz first time my boyfriend broke up with me is cuz he said he didn't want marriage then the next day he said he'd made a mistake and wanted me back and did want to marry me. It's just odd. We were such a serious couple and I hope that I meant more to him than just replace me with some random. It just sickens me to think he could move on so quick from such a meaningful relationship. You heard anything from your ex since?

    • I had known from the beginning that he didn't want that in his life. I just figured I'd change him but sadly thats not something that really happens. Yeah it is a very sickening feeling to think someone can just move on that easily but it could just be his way of dealing with it. I don't understand it myself believe me I really don't and I question it a lot. But after this path month I've realized there truly is nothing I can do. Sadly I have no say in what happened. And that's the hard part. I haven't heard from him and as heartbreaking as it is I know I won't. Have you reached out to him?

    • I haven't I was going to wait a couple of weeks. He has a gig coming up which I got him tickets for for his bday. I was gonna just text him to remind him telling him not to forget and then that's it. Thing us ge said he didn't want marriage either when he broke eith me first then chafed his mind and asked for me back but this time he said he needed space and that he hoped we could be friends after yet deleted all our photos of great memories off facebook. This broke me and I deleted him. I dont get why he could do that.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like he said what he wanted (to break up) then second guessed himself and once you got back into the old ways he realized he didn't want to do it anymore.

    He's trying to move on

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    • He just doesn't seem upset about it and I don't understand cuz I did so much for him he got moody a lot and I always forgave him every time. Do you think he's not even missing me at all or maybe after a while he will and could come back? It just hurts so much thinking that he doesn't care :(

    • He's probably not upset about it because he made his mind up a while ago. I don't know if he'll come back, but I doubt it.

  • It's called moving on

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    • well duh but I dont understand how he can so quick when we meant so much to each other and were serious and comitted he's just totally changed

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    • Reconciliation *

    • It did mean something until he realized why you guys broke up.

  • Sounds abit like grass is greener to me bit of a panic move joining tinder so soon too. Also don't Pester it will only fuel their ego, I've found this out the hard way in past relationship

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    • I'm not being arrogant I just don't think it will be. I saw the absolute best in him and treated him like he meant everything. Do you think he might realise this and come back though? Part of me thinks he just needs time on his own to grow up a bit cuz he was only 23 and I'm 27.

    • I'm not pestering I've deleted him off facebook and cut off all contact

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm sorry hun but the best thing right now is to just try and forget about him. You don't need this kind of mental instability and rash actions, you're an adult woman not a teenager. He's not moving on quickly, he's most likely trying to get laid to make himself feel better about it all. Childish response.

    You need to do your best to not think about him. Don't contact him again, if I were you I'd actually delete his number from your phone. If it's an emergency you can get hold of him somehow - but get rid of his number, send him his stuff back and just try and feel better about to being tied down to an immature boy. Take a deep breath and think of all the things you wanted to do but never got around to, keep yourself busy and forget all about him for now.

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  • Were you guys consistently having problems for a long time? Chances are he's been checked out of the relationship for a while now and finally decided to stop trying to make it work.

    If you guys were always having the same problems over and over again you obviously are very different people and not really compatible long term. A break up was inevitable. You can't build a relationship based on expecting one of you to change...

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