I just got dumped. My ex keeps texting to find out if I am okay, should I even respond? How long do I wait?

I spoke to my ex 3 weeks ago and said she had been distant since she went home for Christmas. I told her as things were I was going to cancel my trip out to see her in January. She said she wanted me there and thought it would be good for us to get some time together. So I went to visit my long distance girlfriend of 8 months for 6 days last week and all was great. The night before I left we went to bed she dropped the bomb. She said she wasn't sure her heart was totally in it. Reasons listed were everything from heart not in it enough to do long distance, her dad's recent bout with cancer, trying to determine med school rotations next year, and what type of medical career she wanted to pursue. The whole, my life is so gray right now. Anyway, I was speechless. Got upset that she strung me along all week and started to pack my stuff to leave immediately. She told me to stay. I started too by sleeping on the couch by my choice and lasted 30 seconds before realizing that I had to get out of there immediately and leave on my terms. So I packed my stuff, didn't say a word, and left. She followed me out to the elevator. Stood in the doorway. Then got out when I asked politely to "get out of the door please". She did. I left. No calls for about an hour. Her roommate text me within the hour to offer a ride or whatever. She text to tell her I was safe. Then she sent an email at 2:30am to "get all of my thoughts expressed to you in words". She said a lot of nice things, but at face value it reads more like someone trying to let me down easy. Since then she has texted twice and sent my roommate who she has never met a Facebook message asking if I made it home safe.

I don't know what to do now when she calls or how long I should avoid her. Do I want to make it work? Short answer, yes. I take it very hard that she hasn't called. Just texts/emails. I have not responded to anything. I feel like all she wants to do is speak her peace and clear her conscious.

Should I move on? How do I get her back? Cut off all communication? Let her go to let her come back on her own? Appreciate your advise as to what to do next.

Also, no other guy is involved. She is not cheating. So rule that out totally.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like you need time to yourself right now to sort out your feelings and her texting and emailing you if you are okay just complicates the situation, because she broke up with you. I would be honest with her, and say you would like her to stop texting you. Two good things will come of this:

    1. You will have time for yourself to sort things out, do whatever guys do

    2. She will get a taste of her own medicine (cutting off all contact), and it may go from there. She MAY want to get back together with you (try not to get your hopes up though to set yourself up for disappointment) or you will have just found someone else and moved on.

    • Add: to feel better about yourself, you may have to turn the tables of power, know what I mean?

    • Agreed. I cut off all communication. I haven't responded to any attempted messages since I walked out. She text but still hasn't called, which I find weird. Why would she only text/email? Should I respond at all? As of now, I am waiting for a call. Until then it seems like :

      1. I am just giving her closure

      2. If I contact her I'm not giving her a real opportunity to see if she misses me.

      Thanks again!

    • Text/email is very impersonal. You can write them and wait for you to write them back, you don't have to have any awkward silences by being on the phone. That's probably why she isn't calling. I mean, if you're going to text her anything, I would text her to stop texting u...

      I'm not an expert lol...

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