Am I an idiot for listening to music that reminds me of my ex just cause I am sad?

I can't get over my ex over the past 4 months and I keep listening to music that he loved and that makes me sad just cause I think about him. I also keep looking through depressing relationship quotes cause they make me cry over him. I need help :/

  • Yes you're an idiot.
    Vote A
  • No, it is apart of the process.
    Vote B
  • Get over him already!
    Vote C
  • Both A and C.
    Vote D
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Updates:
I was on my cousins facebook going through my old facebooks selfies and I found a comment from him saying how beautiful I was. Stupidly, I clicked on his name and looked at the top of his page. Apparently he is "phenomenal" and loves his girlfriend with "all" his heart. I feel like an idiot, for looking at his page and for thinking he actually thought I was beautiful. Smh.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah, it's OK. You're just human. Just don't keep it up forever though. Eventually you have to let it go and move on. Just remember that they don't make sad love songs for nothing.

    Maybe throw in a happy song every now and then. Play one that gets you up and dancing.

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    • Thank you. I don't really know many "happy" songs I enjoy. Have any recommendations?

    • You're a way different age group than me. We might not have much music taste in common. What kind of music do you like?

      Not sure if it's happy music. But here's what I'm listening to atm. At least it's not sad.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AplhZ3Dpcwc

    • I enjoy all kinds of rock and metal but I like to listen to anything besides country.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say in the beginning you have to.

    But only you know when it's healthy/releasing tension, or just torturing yourself.

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    • At this point I don't know.

    • If you still have a lot of pain, then there's probably a reason you're still feeling like listening to it.

      I wouldn't stop until you feel like you're completely done with it. Or forcing yourself to listen.

      Sad music is the best (imo) for grieving and getting through stuff, than just trying to ignore the pain. And the end, you'll probably get through it faster then if you denied yourself time to be sad.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • I would say find music that is better than that of you and your ex's. Like for instance mine and my ex's was Lucky... I honestly learned to hate it and started to love country music... there is more than enough country songs about losing a love... its a great place to get started.

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  • This is exactly what you shouldn't do.. You should delete all of his pics and his texts and do your best to meet new people and get involved in hobbies. What you're doing isn't moving on its dwelling in the past.

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    • That's the thing though, I did those. There is NOTHING to do for someone like me where I live.

  • try this...
    [Verse 1:]
    When I need motivation
    My one solution is my queen
    'Cause she stays strong
    Yeah, yeah
    She is always in my corner
    Right there when I want her
    All these other girls are tempting
    But I'm empty when you're gone
    And they say

    [Pre-hook:]
    Do you need me?
    Do you think I'm pretty?
    Do I make you feel like cheating?
    I'm like no, not really 'cause

    [Hook:]
    Oh, I think that I've found myself a cheerleader
    She is always right there when I need her
    Oh, I think that I've found myself a cheerleader
    She is always right there when I need her

    LOL

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    • That's not funny. :/ It just hurts worse now.

    • ... it's a positive song.

    • not for me cause of how I relate to some of the words in a negative way.

  • Yes you are but so am I. I'm doing the same thing right now 😢 sorry you're feelin down

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    • Thanks and I'm sorry too.

    • Show All
    • "It's hard to get over people, I mean really get over them. You can start to have feelings for other people but it doesn't mean you're over them. It means you're moving on."

    • Yeah I was with a girl I wanted to marry and she dumped me cuz she wanted to find herself. Then 2 months later she took me back and then dumped me again 3 days after. I can't even believe how heartless she turned out to be but I still love her

  • the worst things you can do when you're sad is listen to sad music and stay in your room all day long

    it'll pass, young one

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  • It's a part of thr process.

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  • You're Not An Idiot.
    Keep LIstening To The Music, Think Of The Good Times You Had.
    I Never Got Over My First Love, I Listened To Our Songs, Love Songs That Reminded Me Of Her.
    We Stayed In Touch.
    As The Years Went By I Could Not Stop Thinking About Her, I Was So In Love With Her.
    Over 20 Years Later, I Confessed My Love To Her, Told Her How Much I Still Love Her.
    We Got Back Together, We Got Married And Living Happily Ever After.
    When You Believe In Love, And The Person Who Has Your Heart, Anything Is Possible.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's Part of the Healing Process but it is Not helping heal the war wounds and can prevent you from Moving on.
    I just NOW saw this, and being as wise as I am here, dear, leave the music off for now, begin licking your wounds and also start with your heart, by finding friends who you can relate to and go out and enjoy some air, some good times and you will find that this will do your body some good.
    I am not saying to date anyone, you are NOT ready nor raring. However, the fresh air, the smell of life right now, is waiting for you so grasp it and grab it and focus on you so you don't end up a couch potato eventually who needs a doctor.
    I was 16 when I broke it off with My First Love. This was the hardest thing in my life I have ever had to do. It took many guys, many nights of fears and tears, and finally a Moment in time the week before he got married, seven years later, to realize as we laid once more in each other's arms, that both of us would always love one another but now in a different way And... Closure and comfort then came over us.
    You may find your Closure in another way but you Need to start with helping you and your Heart first as a Baby step in a New direction.
    I believe someday and in some way, you will find someone to dance the night away with again.
    Good luck and God's blessings. xxoo

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    • that was the sweetest and most helpful thing anyone has said to me about this. I'm usually just told I can live without him, to move on, to distract myself. Thank you so much.

    • Oh, so welcome and in giving me credit, I am going to give you credit myself, sweetie, because I know you will do the Right thing for you.. So welcome, happy to help, have been there, I care. xxoo

  • Girl, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Let your heart be broken for a while.

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  • I do exactly the same. A lot of people do. After a breakup you go through similar emotions people feel when they are grieving. There comes a time when you have to stop though , so you can give yourself time to heal. To let go, you have to keep you mind on other things other than him. If you don't then you are holding into the pain. Holding on is much more painful then letting go. There comes a time when you have to... cry a river, build a bridge and get over it.

    Pain is inevitable , but suffering is optional. Good luck xx 💛

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    • Thank you

    • You're welcome!

      They say time heals pain, but it isn't time that heals the pain. It's what you do with your time that actually helps you to heal. Xx 💐

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