Do I still get a chance with my ex?

hey I am a seventeen year old girl. I had this ex boyfriend for around a year. we were deeply in love, and nothing mattered more than each other in our eyes. he did lots of stuff for me, like sending me home nearly everyday after my school even though he live hours away from my home. I am his first girlfriend too. he was real cute and nice, shy etc. everyone said we were compatible. we were both very loyal and never flirted with anyone else during our r/s. we even gave our virginity to each other. he's 3 years older than me. My ex boyfriend and I broke up around mid October last year.

2 weeks before we broke up, he suddenly told me that he loved me no more and that he hates me. I was shocked and hurt to the max before the day before we still met up and everything was alright. There were still the hugs, kisses and sweet nothings. he even sang to me. and it was also only recent that he told me his love for me will never end. so when he told me he loved me no more, and wanted to break up, I was shocked and could not accept it. in the end after much pleas he gave me another chance. but he never treated me nicely anymore. however there was once a week before the breakup, I went to his house to spend some time together for a while. he was very nice to me and even initiated hugs etc. later on we even made out.

after that day he went overseas for some school trip which lasted for 5 days. 1 day after he came back, I asked to meet up and he refused, and insisted that he doesn't want to see me forever and wanted to break up. again. this time I totally gave up and agreed. so the next day we met up for the last time, before breaking up. I was all set and bracing myself for the break already, however his behavior totally stunned me because I thought he didn't love me anymore. he cried like hell during that meet up, and hugged me etc. he even requested to meet up once in a while after our break up. he sort of begged me, and even cried more than me! he told me he still loved me actually.

after the breakup, I was completely crushed. he was too. However I did not dare to contact him, and waited for him to contact me first instead. he contacted me on a daily basis. and told me he still loved me, just that he thinks he's not suitable to be in a relationship for now. so I respected his decision. he even told me he wants to be my best friend because he worries about me etc. I felt super touched and loved him even more.

however a few days later, he suddenly stopped contacting me. and when I contacted him, he was either very cold or completely ignored me. he even said he hates me and that he regretted knowing me. So I got desperate and upset, started pestering for an answer. things got even worse.

one month later, he suddenly messaged me and told me he wanted me to spend his birthday together with him which is in December. I was elated and rushed off to plan everything, and didn't dare to contact him for fear of him changing his mind.

a while later, I found out h


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think your message got cut off. This is a horribly sad story. I'm so sorry he has put you through all that! I think I'd be driven crazy by someone treating me that way, so good for you if you're not crazy! ;)

    I honestly think he is so imbalanced emotionally that he is not safe to have any contact with. I'm not sure what's going on with him, and don't want to pretend to know. From your story, though, we can safely say that he isn't treating you with the consistent love and respect you deserve, and I hope you have continued to set and keep boundaries up to not have further contact with him. Your heart doesn't need any more bruising from him.

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  • He has a guilty conscience, at best. He wants and/or has been with someone else. That's the only real explanation. Aside from that, maybe he's bipolar or something, but I doubt it. I think he's just stringing you along as a backup. Just leave.

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