Do Relationships End from Actions or Omissions?

I won't get into details, but most relationships of mine end because of something I'm not doing "enough." Apart from long-term relationships, girls I'm dating tend to cease communication for reasons they don't ever explain (for example, you had great dates, great conversation, maybe even great sex and then you aren't receiving texts/calls back). In those situations, I assume that I messed up somehow, but I have no idea about how I am actually messing up. So I wanted to ask (especially guys), do you think relationships end from something that you did specifically? Or do you think that they end from something that you failed to do? And if you failed to do something, did you know what you failed to do beforehand? Or was it already too late once you found out (if you ever did)?

  • Actions
    Vote A
  • Omissions
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually, I try my best to communicate with my boyfriend. If he continuously doesn't do that, or makes no effort then I stop wanting to be in a relationship with him and detach. I give him plenty of time to work things out, but if it doesn't work then it doesn't work.

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    • So reasonable

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    • Yes I do this too, hang in there for awhile, see what happens... if nothing, I begin to detach

    • Thanks for MHO!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think omissions lead to break ups, but the actions are the last straw that cause breakups.

    So for example, if a girl is recieving enough love, sex, affection, attention, and emotional connection from the relationship, she is more likely to only make a minor argument out of certain actions (provided that it isn't something that is completely unforgivable).

    But if a girls needs are not being met, and she feels detached or neglected, then she is more likely to explode when such an action comes along--almost as if she was waiting for the action to happen, so that she would have a reason to break it off.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Guys do the same thing. Go quiet on you and not say why. I'd rather someone be honest so I don't do something stupid next time.

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  • Omission of fidelity, love, communication.

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  • omissions, yep.
    I can tell when someone is holding back or worse,, LLLYING! I can take the truth, I can not tolerate lying by omission or even just omitting something I need to know altogether. Just because you think I dont need to know doesn't mean I dont, you dont know what I value. (not you, I mean a general you all)

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  • Both, in my experience.

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What Guys Said 10

  • My first marriage ended when she:
    - abandonded me and my young son
    - slept with other men (some even for money)
    - told me to my face that she no longer loved me
    - suggested we could remain married provided I'd agree to an open marriage (all past misdeeds forgiven of course)

    Based on that, I'm going with actions more than omissions.

    In a broader context, every other relationship I've had that ended, except for one, was ended by the woman. My actions or omissions never came into play.

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    • Damn, you went through the ringer with your first wife.

    • @R3d_Anonymous

      Through the ringer is right. I did not even mention her kidnapping our son after she was served with divorce papers. I have had custody of my boy since my he was 4. He just turned 16 last month.

  • I think lack of actions are more common. She is not getting what she wants or needs from the relationship. If the things she really needs are there, she'll be much more forgiving of the negative actions (within reason).

    Love is a verb. A verb requires actions. If the actions are missing, then so is the verb.

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  • Actions. Specifically, the choice (s) made to deliberately omit, falsify, or not be entirely honest in both their own feelings and with your own.

    Trust makes or breaks a relationship. If you cannot trust one another, then there isn't anything there worth saving.

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  • I think it can go both ways and plus it depends on the type of people involved in the relationships.

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  • Both in my opinion

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  • Omission this time. The reasons came out a week later. We made up and are restarting.

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  • Both. Sometimes, it takes one, sometimes it takes both, but usually, they end because of both.

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  • generally neither

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  • I got dumped or I dumped her I dunno lol (She cheated on me). Not once did she ever tell me anything was wrong. Like you say if they don't tell you, how are you supposed to know? I'm not a mind reader

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  • Dude I fucking hear you. I totally think relationships end from omissions on both sides. It takes two to tango and it takes two to blame when shit ends usually. When people are afraid to communicate with each other then nothing will ever change for the better. I have this flaw too I think. In fact things change for the worse so bad that you end up losing feelings for each other over something that is so juvenile and not even a big deal if we communicated the issue earlier. I feel like I've made quite a few mistakes in relationships but when things aren't told to me as reasons why the relationship ends I can't grow as a person and that drives me a little crazy. I can ALWAYS do better and I can always grow as a human being. I feel like if I'm denied the opportunity to do that, I can't show what I'm really made of. Not only that but I feel like an ass that something I've been doing has been bothering the person I care about and I don't realize I've been doing it. Things in relationships are not obvious without communication. You may get hints and feelings but that doesn't amount to shit without straightforward evidence.

    This is why in the future I'm going to take it slow with a woman and make sure she can share shit with me even if she's afraid it will hurt me a bit. I don't want to be with someone who will bury this shit down and make me feel ostracized and detached from her for a long ass time because this stuff really makes someone feel miserable. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly waiting for something to give. You want to know what is causing the issue but at the same time you feel if they haven't told you after so long then they probably don't trust you enough to tell you. Or it could be that they trust you but are just afraid. Either way I can't do that again. I've learned to seek something that really matters to me in a relationship and I think it's the most important thing in any relationship. Once the cutesy honeymoon stage ends it's really the most imperative thing to keep you going assuming you're compatible in other ways.

    Hey maybe there's a flaw with me that prevents women from really having a deep conversation with me that I need to sort out but who the hell knows if nobody fucking tells me lol
    I don't bite.. I'm a pretty accepting and understanding person I think.. But again who the hell knows?

    I've been trying to do a lot of evolving as a person recently so if anyone ever has blunt advice for me then let me know.

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    • seems like you had to deal with this a lot in the past

      from the way you are talking. seems personal

    • @HookingSwan eh maybe a little bit :D

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