Has ignoring an ex ever forced them to contact you?

Total NC, including just disappearing out of their lives, no matter who ended the relationship or the circumstances.

  • Yes, within a month
    Vote A
  • Yes, after a month
    Vote B
  • Yes, after two months
    Vote C
  • Yes, after three months
    Vote D
  • Yes, after 3+ months
    Vote E
  • Maybe, a lot of silent / anonymous calls
    Vote F
  • No, never
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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1013

Most Helpful Guy

  • One of my ex's after everything just decided to cut all contact completely and have never spoken to me again, this is like 3 years now soon I think. I never made any attempts to contact her cause well obviousness. It is in my opinion pretty heartless and cruel, I personally always believed I could be friends with everyone pretty much, certainly someone I loved or loved me. The odd thing tho, she seem to been spying on me and I think in secret she contacted my later girlfriend for some reason, but always sent one message or made a comment then deleted it, one im 100% sure was her about a year after the break up. I have at least maintained a good and healthy friendship with my other ex, which is the thing anyway. It certainly takes two mature people to pull it off.

    I know tho however that a guy did this to her once what she did to me, it ruled her life for like 8 years where he chased this asshole who cut her off in a similiar cruel manor. She started sleeping around with a lot of other guys to try and get it over it, to fill the void he created in her. I always found strength in myself that I haven't done the same, but I always found strength in my pains cause I had a pretty tough life before as it is, so at least it makes me proud of myself, that I didn't turn out like she did.

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    • So in a way she did break NC. Even if she didn't outright speak to you, you knew it was her.

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    • @imanf7 Not always, but I try to be :). But honestly I never gotten used to people being nice to me, can't help but appreciate it, which I think it should be anyway, honest or not :)

    • i don't know you but you seem like a decent nice guy so stay that way
      the world need more people like you :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • The number one aim of no contact is to help you get over it. No one should do NC as a strategy for getting an ex back. People need to look at this way -- staying in contact with an ex who rejected you is guaranteed to a) prevent you from moving on and b) make sure that your ex doesn't reconsider his decision because as long as you're still in contact, doing the post break up "let's be friends" bullshit, your ex doesn't need to consider if they made the right choice. If you're still in touch, your ex is thinking that he still has you on the hook as a fallback option while he shags other women. Why would any ex reconsider breaking up in this situation?

    If you go no contact you have three possible good outcomes, none of which are bad:. a) you go no contact, he never gets in touch but after a while you get over it and wonder what you saw in him b) your ex comes crawling back because he realises that you're not going to be his *friend* (i. e. fallback girl) so he needs to step up if he still wants you in his life or c) (an this is the sweetest possible outcome) the ex does get in touch with you, but by the time his does, because of no contact you're over it and have no interest in him any more.

    There are no bad results from no contact, but the number one aim of it is that you end up getting over the relationship.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Hell yea, but it depends on if they actually wana still talk to you. Ignoring someone ignoring you doesn't do much lol

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  • Yup it makes them wonder what has happened. I had contacted my ex not to get back together but to make sure everything was sorted out and set to have us both part ways. I ceased contacting her for about 8 mos then out of nowhere she tried to friend me and send me messages on FB and I had to tell her how it is... brutally. safe to say she will no longer be ruining my life

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  • I wouldn't advocate cutting contact entirely unless you need to do that to move on. Definitely not as tool to manipulate him into contacting you.

    But yes it could work. Unless you're dealing with a particularly difficult or psycho boyfriend I'd also recommend you tell him upfront there will be no contact so he doesn't wonder if something happened or worry or whatever...

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  • i have only spoke to my ex after our breakup, kinda had no chance, we literally went to get breakfast at the same place and the waitress sat meat the table across from hers...

    awkward af!

    but i have never tried to contact her ever. thats pathetic

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  • Why would you want contact with an ex? There's no future with them, so it's a waste of time.

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  • She was emotionally abusive to me but I did NC for years. She added me on social media but would never comment until I started posting about girls she would comment on them. Which was odd, she got a boy friend (engaged now broken up). I think she was rubbing it in by posting tons of pics of them two a lot of pics. After a year or so I just deleted her after a year or so some friends say she still says how sweet of a guy I am... oddly enough

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  • I was the one who stopped contacting. She gave me the silent treatment. We weren't official, so I just went out with other people and didn't answer her texts when she decided to mature up and talk to me again.

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  • Never gotten a call back from any of my exes, except my most recent, whom I have remained friends with as the relationship ended on mutual terms.

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  • I prefer to live my life with as little contact as possible... I am much happier for it!

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  • I never had an ex, but I would think something bad happened to them.

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  • Silence can be deadly.

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  • Only desp. people want ex's back

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What Girls Said 9

  • I am still married to a husband Out in Egypt, @Anonynym7, and with Every Breakup and Makeup for a million times Over, he usually comes Back... Within amonth sometimes a little longer.
    However, I have not been back to be with him, due to the freat unreest over in th eMiddle East right now, and this has put a great Strain and no Gain on our relationship, and hoping one day, he decides to Move on and Not contact me, even to want friendship.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you. You're a very strong person :)

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    • I never thought I would be this strong to be honest. It's been over 2 months and I haven't caved him.

    • Good for you.. Perhaps he has then move don and if you continue Not to cave, it is easier every day to move on yourself, believe me. xxoo

  • The NC rule should be for you to heal and move on. Don't start it just to wait for your ex to contact you. You might get dissappointed if the person doesn't contact you, plus you are wasting your precious time while waiting instead of focusing on you and your life.

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    • I'm now on day 58 of no contact. Just curious as to how it panned out for everyone else

    • I suppose it s up to the person character. But a break up is tough and if you are the dumpee it s even tougher and you should protect yourself from more pain. My ex is a real ass and the only contact he wanted to have with me was about money. If you are day 58 and your ex didn t give you a sign yet it might mean he/she doesn't care that much. But maybe I'm wrong and I also Don t know your story so there can't be a rule about NC and the time an ex would contact.

  • After complete and utter silence after 8 months (took his damn time) my ex contacted me apologising and begging for me back but by that point he'd already been dating various others so I just ignored him and that made him desperate so he began hanging around my workplace and showing up at places whenever I was out with friends. 2 years later he still messaged me asking for his stuff back.. nope

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    • Wow. What a bolt out of the blue that must've been. How long were you dating and who ended?

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    • What would getting back in contact do to benefit your life? Nothing. You don't need that kind of person around. He wouldn't have changed in 8 weeks. Better off without him in my opinion but I know that's easier said as an outsider. You've already done the right thing and been brave enough to walk away, you need to stand by that, you're stronger than you think.

    • Respected girl

  • Yes, we was in the process of getting back together, when I hadn't been in touch for a couple of weeks (He;s long-distance) I was waiting for him to contact me. I contacted him, after 2 weeks asked how he was, I didn't get a reply, so I messaged him to ask him why, he said I have nothing to say, I was really upset my this, I sent him a futher message, I thought you had feelings for me, He said no I don't have any feelings for you, I never said I loved you, goodbye, don;t message me again. I messaged back said you have hurt me, don;t worry I won;t message you again, but I thought later about it, we had spoken since October 2014-this was back in June 2015 the fight, he was never like this, so I sent him a further message, saying I know this isn;t the real you, I know something must have happened for you to be like this, the door is open, if there is anything thats troubling you, or you want to ask me anything, then you can ask me. I heard nothing, then early September, I got a friend request from him, he apologised, said he was having problems at the time, I asked him why are you coming back after all this time, he said because I thought about you, I missed you, I hurt you, but I want a new start. I told him after he came back I wasn;t going to wait around for him to message me when he felt like it, I want a real relationship, not just a bit of fun, and I am planning on seeing him early next month. SOo no contact can work, as I didn;t attempt to contact him after the day we had the fight.

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  • It worked for me, I was skeptical to begin with as well.

    April was when we split up, hadn't heard a peep from him since. Nor did I even bother trying to speak to him.

    In fact, I outright ignored him if I did see him. Lo and behold, only just this month had he made the effort to speak to me.

    He's been pleasant, kind and asking all sorts of things about me. Took him about 6 months to come around, and trust me, I really thought he never would.

    But he has now, and the no contact seems to have worked wonders for us both. It's cleared all of the negative energy that was between us.

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    • @EmiliaRose2355 actually not "he" it should be "she", :D yeah of course, i am adding more positive changes to my life, will see

    • @Weinlong sorry! Haha I didn't realise I was talking to a male... 😳. Good to hear it! Hopefully she'll come around eventually then.

  • I ended it with my ex for logical reasons but was still in love. I changed my number and never called him. He knew my Twitter account and Skype so sometimes when I was feeling alone I'd secretly want him to contact me but never did.

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  • I blocked my ex on every social site because she completely fucked my head up, then she went through my best friend to get me to unblock her. Good has come out of it though because we're now friends but I limit the friendship because I can NEVER forgive what she did to me.

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  • it is a very interesting topic. my exes never contacted me if they had sex with me during the relationship. so i think if they break up with you, just cheer up, move on!!

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  • I never get back to an an ex, and i would never have contact with an ex either. If someone ignores me, they are just teaching me how to live without them in my life, so it's much easier to move on from them

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