Total NC, including just disappearing out of their lives, no matter who ended the relationship or the circumstances.
- Yes, within a monthVote A
- Yes, after a monthVote B
- Yes, after two monthsVote C
- Yes, after three monthsVote D
- Yes, after 3+ monthsVote E
- Maybe, a lot of silent / anonymous callsVote F
- No, neverVote G
Most Helpful Guy
One of my ex's after everything just decided to cut all contact completely and have never spoken to me again, this is like 3 years now soon I think. I never made any attempts to contact her cause well obviousness. It is in my opinion pretty heartless and cruel, I personally always believed I could be friends with everyone pretty much, certainly someone I loved or loved me. The odd thing tho, she seem to been spying on me and I think in secret she contacted my later girlfriend for some reason, but always sent one message or made a comment then deleted it, one im 100% sure was her about a year after the break up. I have at least maintained a good and healthy friendship with my other ex, which is the thing anyway. It certainly takes two mature people to pull it off.
I know tho however that a guy did this to her once what she did to me, it ruled her life for like 8 years where he chased this asshole who cut her off in a similiar cruel manor. She started sleeping around with a lot of other guys to try and get it over it, to fill the void he created in her. I always found strength in myself that I haven't done the same, but I always found strength in my pains cause I had a pretty tough life before as it is, so at least it makes me proud of myself, that I didn't turn out like she did.4
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Most Helpful Girl
The number one aim of no contact is to help you get over it. No one should do NC as a strategy for getting an ex back. People need to look at this way -- staying in contact with an ex who rejected you is guaranteed to a) prevent you from moving on and b) make sure that your ex doesn't reconsider his decision because as long as you're still in contact, doing the post break up "let's be friends" bullshit, your ex doesn't need to consider if they made the right choice. If you're still in touch, your ex is thinking that he still has you on the hook as a fallback option while he shags other women. Why would any ex reconsider breaking up in this situation?
If you go no contact you have three possible good outcomes, none of which are bad:. a) you go no contact, he never gets in touch but after a while you get over it and wonder what you saw in him b) your ex comes crawling back because he realises that you're not going to be his *friend* (i. e. fallback girl) so he needs to step up if he still wants you in his life or c) (an this is the sweetest possible outcome) the ex does get in touch with you, but by the time his does, because of no contact you're over it and have no interest in him any more.
There are no bad results from no contact, but the number one aim of it is that you end up getting over the relationship.1