OK, so I met this guy, Josh, 3 years ago. He pursued me, but I blew him off time and time again - over the course of 3 years. I was still young, and although I was very interested, I wanted to be young before having a serious relationship... (I was a freshman, now a senior :) He graduated after my freshman year, and is currently about to graduate from an English grad school. We started talking because I had messaged him on Facebook - and he forgave me for consistently blowing him off. He came to visit over the course of about 7 weekends last semester, and we dated. He was oh-so charming and said the things that all girls die to hear. I thought he was very sincere with me - wined and dined me, etc. Pillow talk (just laying in bed – I never slept with him) included plans for the future, a sincere attraction, etc. However, when he was at school, we barely communicated. This irked me because I was positive, especially because the relationship was relatively new, that he would want to get to know me more. I talked to him about this issue a few times; he assured me that he would change, but voila! No change. We would text here and there, but it was all very topical, and not too deep. When there is a lot of time between seeing someone, I believe that there should be communication – esp in a long distance situation. Also, texts seemed very impersonal, and it was rare that he would call me. I understood he was very busy (working full time along with grad school) – but no one is too busy for a 10 min convo every OTHER day. I finally had enough of it and stated that we should break up over some steamy texts, and he was a jerk to me. I continued to be a jerk back, and toward the end of the conversation he said that he was sorry, he really cared, and he would call me the next day. 5 days later – nothing. I was really attracted to him, and although I've dated around, I've never seen “sparks” or felt this passion. What do I do from here? Keep in mind that we don’t know each other very well, but well enough.
Hear me out - I am not trying to sound like the typical ex girl creeper.
What Guys Said 1
He seems very American lol.
From your description, he is probably being himself, but part of being himself is being very much not a part of you in the day to day.
I never really understood American culture, its all about image and ideals it seems. Though strangely everyone is quite genuine, its just they are genuine with each new person as they come along. Its like history doesn't exist for Ammericans.. everything is about today.
He sounds like he's just "going through the numbers" with you. Doing what he should based on your perception of the relationship (minimum required to keep it going). Doesn't mean he doesn't care tho, just means he's Ammerican lol. all my Ammerican friends seem the same in this respect. One of my best friends (who lives in Chicago) said to me "if I was going to Marry, I'd Marry her" (about this girl who has been a life long friend) whilst still happily dating around. Yet, never being ungenuine *boggles*.
Also, don't worry about seeming like an ex creeper. You just seem confused as any person would be in the same situation.
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