We will be together now for 9 months already. I've meet his mom and sis. His dad came to visit so i met him. We've had great times and have gotten into arguments that have resulted in not talking for days. I am not perfect but i know I've given it my all. Cooked gor his family, never used him for sexual pleasure, we've never had sex, and most of all I've placed him as my top priority. Stop making plans with friends etc. But he puts his friends first. I've asked him for favors such as picking me up from someplace but he couldnt because his mom nags him. I asked him to pick me up from this place and a night before he was like i want to go running with my friends so i can't. Too early and too much of you to ask. He can't do a favor for me but he had been hanging with his friends for 2 days straight. I told him how he has disappointed me and we fought over the phone. We haven't talked for 4 days. Im tired. I know i need to break up with him. But it hurts because i care for him. Weve had problems and i talked about breaking up. He said he would change but regarding a different matter. I know i am worth so much and deserve someone who is there for me and puts me as their priority. How can i deal with this. When do i know enough is enough? How to cope
Most Helpful Guy
1. Why are you dating? Not "why are you dating this person," just "why are you dating?" Are you dating because you are looking for a partner to settle down with in a long term relationship/marriage? Are you dating just because you don't want to be alone on Friday and Saturday nights? Are you dating because you need a sexual partner? If you are not looking for a long term relationship, changing partners will not be as traumatic and you don't have the emotional investment of someone looking for a spouse. For this Take, I will assume that you are looking to find the other half of the future Mr. and Mrs. You.
2. How long have you been dating? If you have only been dating for three weeks and you are already asking this question, the answer seems rather obvious. When you find someone with whom you are compatible, the honeymoon phase will invariably end. . . but not after three weeks. This is not The One for you. If you have been dating for at least three or four months, you have an investment in this person and you should not be so quick to discard this opportunity.
When Is It Time To Break Up?
3. Have you identified the specific problems? If she orders the most expensive thing on the menu but doesn't eat half of it, what's really bothering you? Is it the $22.95 that you spent for the lobster thermidor of something else? Do you think she is using you, spending your money for entertainment purposes? Do you think she is being insensitive to the fact that you only earn $400/week and she tries to get you to spend $200 on a date? Of course, if he blew his nose while you were eating, that's a disgusting thing to do, but. . . has he ever been taught that it is a rude thing to do, is he simply doing whatever is most convenient without any regard for others, does he frequently embarrass you in public? Do you really care if she buys another pair of shoes or do you resent the fact that she seems to waste your time? Does his interest in football get you upset because you want to do other things on Saturday or does it remind you of your high school boyfriend, the star quarterback who you caught doing it doggy style with your best friend?
You need to be honest with yourself about what the real problems are. There is no sense in spending time addressing issues if your best efforts still won't resolve the real issues.
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Most Helpful Girl
Weigh your options, and try to take a step back and view the situation from another person's perspective. Right now emotion is clouding your judgement, and decisions are best made based on facts, not feelings.
Some things are worth fighting over, and some aren't. A ride... not worth breaking up over someone. But not feeling valued or like you are a priority? That is a bigger issue. Does he know why you are really upset--that it's not just about you getting a ride or making time for you? Have you told him what you told us?
Image your mom, your sister, or your best friend were in your exact place. Knowing what you know about your boyfriend, what advice would you give them?0