Girls, Wife wants divorce after 16 years and 3 kids. Says I am her best friend but wants to put herself first. And she sees us being best friends?


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What Girls Said 2

  • First off, I'm sorry that this is happening to you!

    I don't know why she feels she has to leave you to put herself first? That makes no sense to me.

    If she wasn't getting something out of the marriage she thought she should be getting, she owes it to you to at least talk to you about it and give both of you a chance in my opinion. I don't know the full situation but if it were me I would at least talk to you first.

    But I have a hard time leaving people period.

    I wouldn't agree to be best friends with her if you know you can't handle it. I know if it were me, I would have a hard time being her 'best friend'. I would be so hurt and just want her to come back :( I don't get how people can do that.

    The thing I would do is try to talk to her about it. Maybe there are changes you both can make to have a happier relationship.

    If she refuses, you need to lean on family and friends. I hope that you both can work things out.

    • I told her I don't think I can be her best friend because of my love for her. She is really stressed out about her job. She said she has never put herself first and for once in her life she wants to put herself first. When she is in a relationship with me she cannot put herself first

    • She says we are different she wants to love in country. Likes Bon fires and big trucks. And I am a city boy. She said right now she knows I am a great father and have always been a great provider for her and our family. But after that she is drawing a blank. She said she can't trust me like she does her mom and family. Her family Always has her best interest in mind and she doesn't think I do. She did finish college and I did my best to help out more with kids and around the house. She is working full time now and we always talk about her day at work and I help her set up her room and always listen to how her day went whether bad or good. She is searching for something. I think she thinks she will be happier on her own and someone else is right for her not me. How do I convince her I am the one? She said a lot if women would be more than happy to have a guy like me that treats her like I do. So what do I do now?

    • I personally have no idea why she thinks you aren't the best guy for her. From what you have said you sound like you are treating her pretty good. The only thing I can think of is Grass is Greener syndrome? Perhaps she just thinks there is someone better out there? Or maybe is just bored with her life? It can be hard if a person is involved heavily in their family life and has no outside stuff going on. The only thing I can say to do is try to listen to her and work on giving her time to do her own thing.

      Perhaps she just needs time to do some hobbies and to take care of herself. Many moms put themselves last and never go out for simple things like hair cuts, or buying new clothes. Maybe she feels like she lost herself somehow. Make her feel pretty, support her. But if she wants out of the relationship there isn't much you can do. It sound to me like she's bored but I have no idea why :S Do you guys do regular date nights?

  • Not sure what you're asking, but her reason for wanting the divorce is rather odd.

    • My question is from a woman's standpoint how do I support her and become who she needs me to be so she is happy?

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    • We were young when we started. But the past 3-4 years everything seemed to be getting stronger to me.

    • Hmmm. Well I don't think that she should divorce you. But she seems set on it. Maybe try separation for a while?

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