He lied to me about buying a condo after we broke up, why?

I was dating a guy for 5 months and we broke up because he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend. We were "no contact" for 2 months and then he texted me out of the blue and said that he was buying a condo next by me. He was saying how great he was doing and then he said he missed me. I told him that I missed him, too. We talked for a little while more and he talked about getting back together.

He eventually flaked on me and said that he was still in love with his ex. I was so hurt and broken that I ended up cussing him out and said some pretty horrible things to him. He didn't try to defend himself and said that he deserved everything that I called him and then started apologizing. He came clean and said that he lied about buying a condo by me. When I asked him why he lied about so much he said “because I’m a fucked person.”

I know after all the other stuff he’s lied about this shouldn’t be a big thing but it jumped out at me. He already lives pretty close to me so it’s not like he’s across town. And why a condo? He lives in a tiny studio now, why jump to a condo? He doesn't have money like that. He could barely afford to take me to dinner. He couldn't afford the rent in my neighborhood if he tried. I knew that when I started dating him but I didn’t care. It’s not like we were talking about money, he started the convo off with that lie. Like “hey, how are you? I’m buying a condo next to you.”

My brother seems to think it’s because I’m at a better place in my life than him. I have a better apartment and job. He seems to think that he was intimidated by that. To me that’s stupid because I didn’t make him feel that way. I never made him feel bad that he didn’t have a lot. At least I don't think I did.

Why do you think he lied? Do you think my brother is right?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It could be that he was emotional at the moment and didn't really think through what he was saying. But he wanted to make you jelly most likely. Either way, move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your brother is spot on. Some guys are just irrationally competitive and he will keep trying to hurt you. Truth is he probably doesn't care about his ex but it's a weapon to hurt you with. Stay away from him the more you entertain him the more annoying it will be. He's jealous of you and leaps into lies before he thinks. I had an ex that was unbelievably obsessed by the fact I was 2 years older than him. It's like they thrive on some inner insecurity and use it to bash you with. Find a real man :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • why does he lie? because it's easier than the truth. because it's convenient. because he likes the constitution to deal with facts. because he thinks he can impress people with hallow things

    I think your bro is right to an extent. But the additional fact is he is a person who doesn't deal in reality. he lies to himself and others

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  • Leave your ex he will use u again for sex

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    • But I didn't even have sex with him after the break up...

    • He is in that motive

What Girls Said 1

  • If at his age is not that far with his life he probably doesn't have ambitions for himself either. If you are in a better place why would you even bother to be with a man that isn't?
    Money are not all it takes into a relationship but can cause lots of damage.
    I believe the ambitions that you have tell more about who you are.
    Move on definetely and let him be with his lies. Why does he lie it shouldn't matter a bit. The fact is that he is and is enough to keep you away if you don't want to get more hurt.

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