Why do men cheat?

I know women do it too... But I want to know what are the possible reasons behind a man cheating on his wife or partner?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well the problem is that women do it way more and it is a lot worse when they do. Typically, but not always, women need an emotional connection to cheat. So when they betray their partner it is just a thousand times worse.
    I was with my ex wife 25 years. I never once thought about cheating. I met her jan 10, 1989, left for the Air Force on Feb 14, 1989. When you get out of basic ANYONE can get laid. I turned down 7 women, including the offer of a 3some. Because I would never be able to live with myself. and at that point you could make a argument that I only knew her a month and it wouldn't be cheating. But I went home on leave may 27 and proposed.
    But Men that do cheat is because something is missing from the relationship. Something they need to be happy. Sex is just the acting out of trying to fill that void. The difference is that men can have sex without emotion of any kind. To get a guy to cum just takes friction and time, nothing mental is going to keep it from happening, only delay it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was faithful for 15 years, and the thought of cheating never crossed my mind. I never even thought twice about infidelity. It just wasn't anything I ever thought I would have to struggle with. Then one night after 13 years of marriage, he told me that he still cared about me and didn't want a divorce, but that he didn't want me and wasn't attracted to me. Just like that. And now, being faithful is a struggle for me. Every day I have to make a decision not become a cheater. It's hard! I never pictures myself being tempted in that way. At all. But it feels like my heart shattered when he told me that, and I just want to feel wanted again. If not by him, then by someone else. And not being able to control how he feels is so frustrating.

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    • You really should end the marriage and seek someone who wants you again. I wouldn't be able to live where someone who I am married to has no desire for me.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • Real simple really. The woman started it first lol.
    Cheating doesn't start with the physical act... it starts way before that when a person supposedly is in a relationship with someone else and refuses to make their partner happy... so their partner looks outside (gotta be happy right?). I say its the woman here, but if a guy asked, i'd say its the guy... the person being cheated on is almost always the reason..

    Unless they are just an undisciplined jerk like @Strider90 said... that happens too.

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    • It's childish to blame someone else for their reasons for cheating

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    • @Mesonfielde Though im inclined to agree with you, i wouldn't really agree that it is "reasonable" to cheat. My theory supports the theory of cause and effect which @iamyourneighbor, just like a woman, is trying to twist, calling it "blame" instead of "cause". Meson, like you said, i am not going to stay being unhappy just because of a rigid partner. I had a lengthy phone convo with a friend of mine about how if a person refuses to their partner happy or compromise, how they should sthu if their partner looks elsewhere. Example, a guy likes seeing women in lingerie, and buys lingerie or GOES TO girlfriend and asks her to model some and she refuses. Next she hears, he was at a strip club, which some women consider cheating. My theory says that she should be quiet because he did go to her FIRST and she turned it down. If she hadn't, he wouldn't be at the club. People don't seem to realize that just because something is refused doesn't mean the want/need goes away.

    • @iamyourneighbor It was for @Mesonfielde really so it really doesn't bug me hon lol.
      Oh, I might tag you in question im about to ask, you know, to show more "childishness"...

  • People choose to "cheat" because they see more reward than risk. That's the simplest term to put it. So that can mean a multitude of things:

    1.) He found someone attractive and doesn't really value the pact of staying sexually exclusive, for example because if "she doesn't find out, then it is not a problem", and was bored with things at home, or he wanted to experience someone different, or just because `he could`. Why restrict yourself sexually when you don't technically gain anything from it?

    2.) He found someone attractive and doesn't really value the pact of staying sexually exclusive anymore, because his partner has been denying him physical or emotional satisfaction for an extended period of time, despite his attempts to fix this problem (if any, and if there was even hope for any).

    I'd say it's typically the second one. Which is why i say, if your partner is dissatisfied emotionally and physically, and they find someone else, sure it hurts but it's YOUR FAULT

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    • Well, or at least it's either your fault, or you just were never compatible enough to sustain a mutually beneficial relationship.

  • It is not situational. Cheaters are cheaters, and non cheaters are non cheaters--no matter what the situation is.

    Cheaters are simply people who lack self control. Its them, not you. Nothing can "cause" someone to cheat. Its just a part of their personality.

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    • Like people who steal/ don't steal

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    • @YERGISHMORGII Sure, but "cleptomania" is seem as a sickness. Can you really say that everyone who ever steals is a horrible person?

  • bored of his wife, sex life isn't exciting, compulsive sex addict, etc... It could be many different reasons

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  • 1.) opportunity seems to good to pass up. Ex. She is physically a ten, he never had sex with one of them
    2.) he has been hurt by women before, so always feels the need to develop backup plans.
    3.) unfulfilled sexually with his current partner, but likes most everything else about her.
    4.) Addicted to chasing women or sex

    Ps. Should probably switch 1 and 2

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  • Lack of sexual pleasure. That's usually the trigger. Other men are just shitty scum bags. Nothing can help them.

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  • I can't speak for all men, just me. I did it because there has been a loss of all connection in my marriage. With 2 kids I have stayed to be there for them. But I had an opportunity for both an emotional and physical connection with another and I took the opportunity.

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  • SOME men cheat because they have no morals and crave sex that can get them in trouble, regardless of whether they care or not.

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  • I have never cheated , cannot fathom the concept

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  • 2 reasons.

    A. In a moment of weakness. Usually the guy here, regrets it and asks for forgiveness.

    B. Or the guy is an undisciplined jerk.

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  • The same reasons that women would cheat, except a man doesn't cheat so that he can move out and move in with this new chick and have her take care of him financially because he has nowhere else to go

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  • Oh look! It's THIS question again...

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  • One Pā‚¬$$Ā„ isn't enough to satisfy a snakes hunger šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹

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  • ambition of variety...

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  • same as for a woman.

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  • Top reason, the girl is '' Too tired'' ... ... fuck that excuse. Men cheat because their girlfriends won't give them any. This is bs and I'm going through this shit myself.

    Sleep with your godamn boyfriend we know damn well you're not fucking tired.

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  • He wants sex. No matter how hot his partner is, a man will feel the desire to sleep with other women after some time. Some men sacrifice that desire in order to have the benefits of a long term relationship (companionship, etc); other men realize that they'd rather just have the sex, so they go with it.

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  • From what I've seen, the most common reason is recreation, granted it still doesn't make up the majority of cases - and if I recall, men have more variance in the reasons.

    I think it's just the appeal of a new sexual experience with someone else, it's something different. Men generally have less sex appeal (or at least less options), so relative to women - whether or strictly cultural, biological or mixed reasons - men will more often experience life in a way that means men have sex when they *can,* while women more often *choose* when they are going to have sex. So when an opportunity comes along I can see how it would be this amazing thing that's too good for some to pass up. This *does not* mean they don't value their partner. I'm sure women take it to mean a guy doesn't love them, but guys that reported cheating that was categorized as recreational very often reported still caring about their partner. So yeah, there you have it. Basically it's a fling with someone they like or find attractive *because* they are not their partner, but it doesn't undermine their feelings for their partner in spite of what women might feel. Again, not the majority of the time.

    When compared to the reasons women cheat we could interpret women's perception of a partner cheating as "they don't love me anymore or never did" as projection, because the primary reason women cheat is because of emotional dissatisfaction. It's less like a fling and more like a whole other relationship or - depending on how you think about it - the main/real (but secret) relationship going on behind closed doors.

    Conventional wisdom tells me men probably cheat more frequently, while women do it less but will rip your soul out when they do and engage in more dangerous affairs. But it seems that it's just some cultural bias against men, because in reality women cheat just as much as men. The emotional dissatisfaction and dangerous affairs parts still hold though.

    Sooo... yep.

    I realise you only asked for men's reasons but meh, I like to surround info with other relevant stuff to paint a clearer picture and I didn't have any personal reasons or anecdotes because I've never been in that particular situation.

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  • Men generally cheat because they are unsatisfied. Their emotional needs are not being adequately met. What most women don't understand is that men's emotional needs are very closely tied to their sexuality. Ignorance of that fact alone is the primary reason so many women are unable to keep their men true.

    By the way, women cheat for exactly the same reason... their emotional needs are not being adequately met. The difference is that women's emotional needs are met in different ways that men's are.

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    • Could you elaborate further? Like if has emotional needs like nurturing, does the woman need to act nurturing in bed? And breast feed him?

    • @YERGISHMORGII Breast feeding is not required, although some men may get off on that. LOL

      A man needs to feel sexually satisfied and fulfilled to be emotionally healthy and content in his relationship and to feel connected to his partner. Men's and women's emotional needs are met in different ways. For men, sexuality is very important in emotional well being.

    • @YERGISHMORGII People just want to feel like their partner loves and cares about them, and shows this through sexual intimacy

  • 100,000 possible reasons, ranging from revenge through being seduced to being bored or just being curious.

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    • So true... very well said. Some of those reasons are justifiable, some aren't. Everyone's situation is different.

    • or just being horny and drunk at the same moment.

  • Most people who cheat are unfulfilled and feel unwanted or unappreciated in their marriage. They then encounter someone who actually seems to respond to them and desires them and that's intoxicating.

    Most acts of cheating are by a smaller group of serial cheaters who have some need to have sex with many people and probably find monogamy itself very difficult for one of a few reasons. Sometimes it's that they feel a need to separate sex and intimacy, that MIGHT be overcome. But some people just have a strong drive for many partners. That won't go away.

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    • There's a lot of truth in these statements. I don't think most people put nearly enough effort into making sure their S. O. is receiving validation on a regular basis. Making sure they feel loved, appreciated, wanted, desired, respected... all those things are so crucial, yet so often they are ignored.

  • Same reason women do

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  • narcissism. the reason why every sin is commited.

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What Girls Said 7

  • They claim their lover does not care about them enough so they use that as a good excuse to cheat.

    So they are pretty much just assholes. They do not think about others the only thing that goes through their head is '' Me, Me, Me' and Me'

    A true nice guy doesn't cheat, but instead breaks up with his partner if thing does not work out..

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  • He's a scumbag. That's the reason.

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  • Because there will always be women willing to help them cheat.

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  • they don't feel taken care of in the relationship and they stray

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  • I wish I knew. I am not getting what I need from my partner (sexually) but I can't even think of cheating because even the thought of actually cheating makes me feel so guilty. I fantasize about other men but as soon as I even think about actually going out and doing it I am overwhelmed with guilt.

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  • People cheat because they don't value loyalty, and they have no self- control over their desires. A guy can still be attracted to other girls when he is in a relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean he'll cheat. It all depends on his level of conscience, and how much control he has over his desires.

    Cheating is a choice, and some people may only value loyalty when they discover the cost of batrayal.

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    • betrayal*

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    • I was in a ten year relationship , near the end i was very unhappy. I left , although it meant i was splitting the family unit up and i would put myself in financial dire straits. I never considered cheating, even though i had the opportunity to cheat.

    • Weakness*

  • For the same reason anyone would cheat. It is an selfish act. Could be because you're not getting what you need from your partner, love, sex, affection, you name it. It could be because you feel lonely or miserable in the relationship or simply because you need to fill your own needs. A person who cheat is not truly in love because if you are in love you just want to be with THAT person. If you cheat in any way it is a selfish thinking against your partner, you are putting you and your own need first and that is not love.

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    • Love is not a prerequisite for loyalty and vice versa

    • A relationship without loyalty would never work. It comes with love.

    • Well making yourself subservient to your partner is also not love.

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