Is it time to leave or am I overreacting?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, engaged for six. His exwife did a number on him. Cheated on him multiple times, left him in debt, etc. when we first started dating, he was a little paranoid but I shrugged it off. Now though, I can't go anywhere without being accused of sleeping with someone, even if it's work. I have never cheated on him, never will. I think he's worried that my mothers influence will make me a whore, but it doesn't.

He has threatened to hit me a few times, but they were hollow threats just meant to scare me. He has never hurt me. But last night I went to get him and his children some food. I ended up staying there for thirty minutes because it was during dinner rush. When I got home, he started accusing me again and I tossed my phone at him to shut him up, because he was doing it in front of the children. He procedded to grab my neck and push me out.

I just don't know what to do. We are supposed to get married next month, but I'm scared that one day he will actually hurt me. I'm worried that I'm never going to be good enough for him, because even though the accusations have slowed considerably, when he does accuse me it's worse than ever.

Should I stick it out until things get better or am I waiting on a pipe dream? He's a good guy but he gets in those fits, he becomes a completely different person.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone here is gonna tell you to leave, because all we know are the worst things in your relationship. Honestly this is a decision you need to make yourself, because some random people on the internet have no idea how your relationship is really like. That being said you really dont want to get into an abusive relationship, and he clearly has huge trust issues. I dont know if you should leave or not, but you shouldn't get married until you know that he can really trust you and that he won't hurt you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honey.. Please leave this relationship. If a guy grabs your neck that should be enough. If he has also threatened to hit you, that is a serious sign of a relationship that is only going to get worse.

    It sounds like everything he is concerned about is made up in his own head and that he has some issues that you should not be responsible for helping him overcome. When someone accuses you of false actions and limits you from living a normal life and feeling good about yourself, it's all downhill from there. You deserve more, please please find it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Woah, woah, woah, slow down!!! Why the big rush to get married? First of all, you two simply haven't dated nearly long enough. Clearly, you both still don't know each other well enough for this next step. He obviously still has issues from the last relationship. I think he is jumping into another marriage too quickly to try to hurry up and force himself to move on and restore his life. I am not saying to break up, but definitely post pone this marriage until this trust issue can be resolved.

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  • you better loose that zero and get yourself a hero!

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What Girls Said 1

  • i think you should talk to him as its a serious matter and not one that should be solved via advice from the internet

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    • I have talked to him about it multiple times. I'm asking on the Internet for another point of view, because I'm not sure what to do.

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