He threw toilet water at my face, is this abuse?

Ok so this is very short... just like my boyfriends temper. I was in the bathroom and i saw a q-tip on the floor and threw it in the toilet so i could flush it, he came in in that exact moment and started screaming at me and telling me that i dont deserve to have nice things because i mess everything up (clooging up the toilet). He asked we to puck it up with my hands and i said i would but tried flushing it first. When he saw that it was floating after flushing the toilet ( the toilet was never dirty to begin with ) he put his hand inside the toilet to take it out and threw it at me while splashing toilet water all over my face. This made me so furious... is this abuse


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A Q-tip may not clog the toilet itself, but any object like that can cause damage to the waste treatment plant equipment. Nothing but body waste and toilet paper should go in there. At your age you should be smart enough to realize that and should not have put the Q-tip in the toilet.

    He came in and asked you to pick it up and you said you would, but then tried to flush it after saying you would take it out. That is lying and deceitful. No wonder he was pissed. Abusive to you? Perhaps, but you were endangering his toilet and the waste treatment equipment, then deceitful to him. So are you really surprised?

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    • Yeah its stupid to put a Q tip in the toilet but that doesn't warrant being splashed with toilet water. That's disgusting. He just sounds like a dick.
      People do little thoughtless things all the time, and they're wrong in their own right, but if you're really saying its ok for anyone to do something like that over a q tip on the toilet is pretty fucked up.

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    • Okay, now that you have explained again I finally fully understand. It's much more important to be a total jackass than just talking and pointing out someone's wrong doing. I now realize that me and those 7 billion other people people on the planet who are able to control our tempers and not splash toilet water in someone's face are just plain wrong.

    • @Jay-Are - I have stated that I was not supporting his actions. But he is not the one who asked about the incident. I pointed out (to the person who did ask the questions) where she had precipitated his action. If he had asked about it, I would have addressed his participation. Some on here have ignored where I stated that I was not defending his actions and I have had to continue making clear that I was not supporting him. I have made that clear to you and you still continue your bullshit. I am done listening to you and repeating what I have already told you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like abuse to me, both verbal and physical. Your boyfriend sounds like a butt hole, I think you should break up with him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • Abuse or not, it is of course over-reacting for sure. Some time when things are calm, I'd suggest discussing this anger-related behavior with him. If it continues on, you'll have to move on from the relationship.

    Also him saying, "You don't deserve to have nice things because you mess everything up" really disturbs me.

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  • It is not considered abuse... however, it is a step in the negative direction. Guys who overreact in such away normally become abusive, so I would be skeptical.

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  • I don't think it's abuse

    I think your back and forth may be something to consider abuse but the act of splashing water in your face is not. just because something makes you mad doesn't mean it's abuse.

    but perhaps the verbal nature of your conflict may be something to consider as abuse.

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  • No, that is not abuse. However, his reaction is over the top. You should not flush that down the toilet either though. Toilets are only for bodily waste and toilet paper and nothing else. He is correct in saying you could have blocked the toilet but at the same time his reaction was over the top for what you did. Is his toilet on a septic tank?

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    • The thing he did wrong was act way too strongly towards you. What he said is actually the truth.

    • Sorry I realised that might have sounded wrong the only things he said that were correct is the fact it could block the toilet. There personal attack at you is out of line and he was wrong for doing that.

  • I don't think that's abuse but his reaction was very cheap rather. I would say it's not the best way to take out his anger on you.

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  • I'm surprised no one's put him in the hospital yet.

    It IS abuse. It may or may not legally be considered physical abuse, but it's still fucked up regardless of what the law would define it as. You need to break up with him already.

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  • It might not be traditional abuse, but yes, this is abusive behavior. It's not something I would tolerate and I don't think you should have to either.

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  • Are you seriously thinking that's abuse? What the fuck, it's just WATER!!! He didn't even touch you.
    I gotta start going around the world like this cause everything I do may be considered abuse.
    cdn.hiconsumption.com/.../...tic-Bubble-Suit-2.jpg

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  • Yes, get out of the relationship

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  • Splashing any kind of liquid in someones face is battery unless your doing it playfully

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  • MAJOR over reacting on his part. I don't know if it's abuse, but he definitely sounds like an asshole.

    Because of my old job I really don't mind getting my hands dirty. I would've just sucked it up and picked it out myself, before making my girl do it even if it was her fault.

    Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, and I could understand being annoyed or frustrated but splashing you was uncalled for obviously.

    At my old job I had to clean bathrooms and such... I flushed much bigger things than that. I saw a can of tobacco once laying in the toilet. I was so pissed that a costumer would put that there that I just sad eff it, and flushed it. It went down, and nothing happened. If that went wrong I could have got fired, but I was just so frustrated and didn't give a crap that day. So, a Q tip probably wouldn't cause a big issue, but I guess it could. And the plumbing at a business might be better. Either way, sorry that happened.

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  • I don't know what people are so ignorant at 18 to be throwing things down the toilet that isn't meant to be there. U gotta learn the essential of life if u wanna live a good and healthy life but seems like ur still a child and dunno where things belong. Altho i agree that his behavior is beyond Godlike. Both people is at fault anywayz cuz u shouldn't be throwing shiz in the toilet that doesn't belong there >.> u should be old enough to knoe about that

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  • Hmmm, I'm not sure about abuse, but it is highly disrespectful

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  • i don't know if it counts as abuse but it is gross as hell

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  • Yes that is abuse, and i'd knock a motherfker strait out for doing that to me, If you are still calling this guy a boyfriend you need to rexamine your life.

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  • Wow that's so mean.. I'd be at the shit out of him,, yaa just leave him you don't deserve that >; (

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  • Really fucked up but not abuse though

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  • Ya I think... Dump him.. Sounds like he will kill you some day... With that kind of temper..

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  • Yeah babes.. its definitely abuse..

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  • Yes, this is abuse leave him.

    This is why I say people date irresponsibly...

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  • Not really, it's just water. But it's really for you to decide what's okay and what isn't.

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  • No. And a toilet is not a trash can. As a man who has done many repairs and remodels I can say people are clueless. Tampons and any other object that's not water soluble will clog up the pipes.

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  • WHAT - THE ACTUAL- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK

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  • Can't really call it abuse but I can call it dumb and a good enough reason not to date him. Don't date men with short tempers. It's dangerous and never worth it. Period. Not much else to say. And if a q-tip and toilet water splashing is enough to both piss him off and make you ask if this is abuse you two probably shouldn't be together.

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  • it's borderline battery, actually, but trying to prove it you have zero chance. Far better to dump his ass. I know a lot about physics + chemistry (and also clogging toilets with toys as a kid!) and I can tell you that when I clean my computer keyboard I use Q-tips soaked in alcohol, which I would never put in the trash, being a fire hazard; I always cut the tips off and flush those down the toilet. Dump him, you will not be sorry, that anger gene can be bad! (this all from my half-Irish genes, I've seen it in drunk relatives, etc.)

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What Girls Said 26

  • That's disgusting, how are you tolerating this? Yes we make mistakes doesn't mean you don't deserve nice things- i'm sorry a toilet? how is that nice, its a place where you empty your bowel and shit. it's easy to unclog a toilet he's being totally ridiculous. You realize you're in an abusive relationship, you should be withs someone who wants nothing but happiness for you...

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  • TBH, I'm wondering why you stay with someone who would throw toilet water at you?

    I do consider this a form of abuse, because he's essentially assaulting you. He completely overreacted in this situation and didn't need to do what he did.

    We all do things that frustrate people. What's not okay is how he reacted. He could have asked you to not put stuff in the toilet as it will clog up the toilet. Even if this is an on-going problem it's not a solution to throw water in someone's face. in my opinion it's disrespectful.

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  • There is certainly something very abusive about the nature of his actions. In the least, he was extremely verbally abusive towards you. Situations like that happen and there was no reason for him to completely cut you down to size and make you feel small for an accident. That was completely disgusting and disrespectful. How are you ever going to feel comfortable with this man after that incident? The whole thing is a major red flag and if he was bold enough to do something like that, then this probably won't be the last time.

    You need to leave him immediately. I would have dumped him on the spot.

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  • what? the fact that he screams at you for suck a silly reason shows that he is controlling and abusive

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  • It's definitely not right and is a mild form of abuse. I would be gone so damn fast.

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  • That's not abuse but I think he might have like an anger issue. But to be honest, why did you even think about flushing something other than your body waste and toilet paper down the toilet? Like come on, you're old enough to understand that... And then you tried flushing it again when you said you would get it? Stuff like that goes in the trash girl.

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  • Yes, this is abuse. That is verbal, me tal and emotional abuse. Not to mention, that is absolutely disgusting. A toilet may not LOOK dirty, but it is. There are many germs on/in it. A person can go to jail for so much as spitting on another person because of the spreadable germs/diseases. It wouldn't be acceptable for him to spit on you. How do you think it would be acceptable to throw toilet water in your face?

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  • It is not abuse, but he was being wayyyy too fucking dramatic. He needs to chill, because it ain't that big of a deal.

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  • Why are you still with this guy? He has serious anger issues

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  • I think thats rude and you she just leave him.

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  • first ewwww
    second how often does he do stuff like this?
    If his "short temper" gets u hurt its abuse

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  • I don't know about abuse, but it's out of line. And abuse usually starts with a short temper and erratic behaviour like this. I would be furious, even if it wasn't toilet water thats not how to handle things. I'd be having a chat.

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  • Water... did it hurt? Are you fine? Its only really abuse if he left a mark because you can't prove water hit your face. He can deny it... its only water

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  • he is not abusive, just a dick

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  • This is a abusive behavior. You should be careful.

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  • it sounds like you should be more careful. why did you flush it even after he displayed anger? did you not think that would anger him more?

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  • I know from expreince, it's better to stay away from guys with short tempers like that. They can't control themselves and could be dangerous.

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  • I don't consider that single act as abuse but he's a dick...

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  • He sounds like an insane neat freak. What an uncomfertable man.

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  • Abuse: NO
    Disgusting, immature and unacceptable: F$&% YEAH!!!

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  • What the fuck? /.-

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  • Certainly it is. What is up with his short fuse?

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  • I don't know, I consider that abuse. If some guy threw toilet water at my baby nephew, I'd beat his @#$%

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    • Ps. Dump that jerk.

  • That seems pretty abusive.

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  • Ew, yes it is wrong of him to do that.

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  • That's not abuse no, but the screaming isn't good. Why are you with someone like that who would freak out over a Q tip?

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