Is it time to say it's over?

I've been married for several years. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, and ADD. This makes simple things more difficult for me. For years my wife has been asking me to listen to her, and I do. I put everything I can into making sure I understand her, but I still forget a lot of things and she takes this as me not caring. I've tried to explain that I really do, but she says she doesn't see me caring. Recently I've been trying harder than ever despite no longer having a therapist but it seems things are just getting worse. I fight through my depression and anxiety to force myself to do anything. I try to take notes on my life so I don't forget things. I am communicating better than I have since we've been married. I think it's just too late now though. No matter what I do she's angry with me. And aside from small moments when we're sharing a laugh, I do nothing but annoy her. In the past few months, I can count the number of mornings that haven't started by me getting yelled at on my fingers. It seems like sometimes I don't even have to have done anything to get yelled at. I apoligize and say I'll do better but I often fall back into the same ruts. I want to change and I try to change but I can't make it stick. Because of my anxiety I don't yell back. I often freeze up and can't say anything which only makes her more angry.
Is it my fault?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. It is not your fault. I know that I am young and may not know about all of that stuff, but before I was adopted, I'd felt that kind of stuff with my dad. He used to yell at me for forgetting things and because he got in trouble for my being born. His girlfriend hated the fact that I was alive because I wasn't really her daughter.
    It is not something that is your fault. If you are trying your best, and that you care, then you are doing nothing wrong. You are trying and even though not everything is going well, you keep trying.
    Part of loving someone is accepting who they are, even if they drive you mad.
    Sorry for my rant, but to sum up, no you are not doing anything wrong.
    Best wishes, hope everything goes well,


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What Girls Said 3

  • not necessarily... she knew who you were when you married and so she shouldn't get mad at you for being the same person. She has simply become tired of it. I suggest marriage counselling and also the therapist can properly explain ADD to your wife and she may be better...

  • Depression can be so debilitating. Sometimes it's hard for others to relate to how you are feeling, which can cause problems within a relationship.

    Relationships are measured by the bad times , not the good. A great relationship is not the absence of problems, it's having the ability to get through whatever you both face together - as a couple. Try to explain to her exactly what you have stated in your question. Talk about how you feel, even if it upsets her.

    Personally, i only believe a relationship is over when there's nothing left worth fighting for, or only one of you is fighting to stay together. 😊

  • I think she does not know much about depression or ADD.

    You two should sit down and have a talk. Tell her what you just said here and also explain to her more about depression and ADD. Google stuff and print it out for her to see.



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