Post Break-Up Depression?

My girlfriend of more then a year broke up with me stating she still loves me and that I was her first love (mine likewise) but she needs a break. I think of her all the time and I just want to be with her like before, I just want to cuddle and hold her, tell her I love her, spend hours just lying in bed with her just talking, going around town finding stuff to do. I want all that back. I know I'm supposed to move on and get my life back on track, but I can't. I see her everywhere I go in mind. No matter where I am my mind jumps to her, her beauty, her humor, her blue eyes, her hair flip. I want it. Here's the thing: We agreed to still be friends and whatever, but I can't all of a sudden be friends with the girl I love especially so immediately. My mind plays her going out with other people, hooking up with other people and I become upset at the point of crying. Now when she texts/calls/ims me I don't want to answer, in a way I want her out of my life so I can move on but it's not working. I need help fast


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Unfortunately I have been the girl that has done this to a guy. What you need to do is be selfish. You need to stop talking to her and if she really does still love you and really does just need time, she will miss you and realize that what she's doing isn't really what she wants. By you still talking to her and being "friends" with her in a way she's having her cake and eating it too. She wants to know that your still going to be there while she's doing what she wants. Even if you pretend not to care about her. You have to show her that your fine without her. Almost like reverse psychology. Like I said, if all she really needs is time and still loves you. She will come back to you. But if she's just messing with you and doesn't love you she won't. If that is the case then she wasn't meant for you and there is a girl out there that will want the same things you do and you will make more precious memories with. Good luck. I really mean that.

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    • 110% agreed. This is best answer right here.

    • So do I and that is why despite everyone's help I have to make this one the best answer

    • That is an excellent answer. Best wishes for a happy future. Lexxy33 - this is cool that you were so honest.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Friends after a breakup of such intense love isn't going to work. You need to be distant and polite but clearly you can't hang out if she's still saying she wants to do that. Since her being out of you life on her terms isn't working for you... then you must make the decision and cut of communication to suit your needs. Doesn't have to be hostile - but you're a great quy who has lots of other stuff to do... so you aren't available to be her right now.

    I recommend a hobby or investing more time in an activity you previously liked or used to do... or take up a new hobby that doesn't remind you of her... hang around other friends - especially ones that weren't couple friends.

    Good luck.

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    • I'm honestly trying so hard to do things I enjoy to get her off my mind, I also have mid-terms now and nothing is working, I can't study, soccer the sport I love, I find no enjoyment in. Nothing seems fun anymore

    • Sorry - I've been out of town and not chckng mail. I know it doesn't seem like you will - but time is the only thing to heal your wounds... and staying busy. I love soccer... it ALWAYS puts me in another state of mind. Look for a fab set of tickets and take your best male friend... or send me one and I'll make you forget your misery! LOL. You're a great catch... find someone who is worthy.

  • Awww. I went through the exact same thing. I would wake up to go to the bathroom and come back to bed. And just start bawling becasue I would forget that he was gone and not in bed. Its been nine months and I still can't get over him. Now were in the same class and its So Hard pretending to be friends, when I see him chatting with other girls. The same stuff races through my mind too. (going out, hooking up). It bothers me so much I'm considering dropping out of the class.

    I would not talk to her for a couple of months. My ex cut me completely for 2-3 months. when we finally talked I spilled my heart out, made a fool of myself. eventually I learned there was nothing I could do, so I have to pretend.

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  • I agree with the other responses . . . No contact is the best decision in this situation. It's the only way you will start to feel better and think more clearly. If she doesn't respect your decision, then you might have to throw down a few hurtful words against your will.

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  • Tell her you need time by yourself to figure out the whole situation, and for her not to call u. That if you want to talk to her you will call her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You know why it's not working...because you still like on in this case love her man. And if you still do, you don't have to move on and forget about her man. That's for the rest, if you still love her you have to prove to her that will be there for her as a friend, and maybe...and I mean maybe with a little luck you will prove it to her once more as a true boyfriend. Right now time is your friend, let it be, and see what may happen in the long run, believe in yourself, and let time be for the better. Good luck man and take care.

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