How can I get closure from my relationship?

My ex and I had a great relationship. We only stopped seeing each other because he was having issues with depression and started going through a really confusing time trying to figure out his life. We haven't talked in a couple months, but I haven't gone a day without thinking about him. We never ended things or even talked about anything. We just stopped talking. It's driving me crazy. I still worry about him and I just wish I had some closure. He is the only person I've dated that I actually loved. I hate that it ended so abruptly. How can I get closure? I don't even know what I'd say if I tried to talk to him again.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds you have a million things you want to say to him. Without telling him those thoughts, your mind will never be at ease... even years later, it may still eat away at you. I would list out all the things you want to say to him, and either call him up for a coffee or write him a letter. If I were you, I'd call him for coffee because it allows two-way dialogue.

    Having closure in an important relationship is very important. I had a similar situation where my first girlfriend and I broke off a 7-year relationship very suddenly. I broke it off and quickly got interested in other things (career, business) and because my mind was occupied, I never felt that painful loss. I never called her after we broke up, and it wasn't until 2-3 years later, I started to wonder how she was, and whether she was angry at me for never calling to reconcile or talk after such a lengthy relationship.

    It ate away at me for almost 10 years, and I would even have dreams that I'd bump into her and she would ignore me. It was a loose end that never got resolved in my life. One night, I had a very vivid dream that she and I were sitting together for coffee and we discussed everything I had on my mind... why we broke up, what happened, and that I always wanted her to be happy.

    Even though it was a dream 10 years after the relationship, when I woke up, I felt a great burden lifted off my shoulders. I still think about it now, but it does not bother me like before.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Write him a goodbye letter. It has worked for me in the past..
    It sucks I know

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • I guess you can give him a message which kind of states "I hope you are doing well and feeling better, been thinking about you" if you want add more things to it

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  • Hi dear i read your comment and i know how you feel now because i have passed through this same way with my boyfriend and i was so depressed but am happy now we are back together today there are some advice i would have to give you to take and it will surely work out for you i want you to email me on my private email so we can talk better and tell you what to do. this is my email address mccartkatty@gmail. com will await your mail

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  • Maybe he thinks it's just as weird and don't know what to say either. It's painfully awkward when no parts have said anything, and then suddenly the silence has been going on for so long that you wouldn't know what to say. I suggest you say something to him though, just be honest; tell him this have been weird, and you're confused and want to know where everything stands. :)

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