Is it wrong for me to feel upset that my ex is talking to his ex?

Before the end of our relationship me and my ex got into a huge argument, he told me that this was my last chance to change and that if I didn't he would leave. I was determined to change, slowly but surely I was and my ex saw that. I however didn't see what he was doing behind my back, as I was making the effort to change he was talking to another girl without me knowing, I kept asking him if there was someone else he told me no, but I knew with him acting distant that something was going on. Eventually he told me that he was falling out of love with me, a couple weeks later he's with someone else. It hurt me really bad how he could just move on like we had nothing, he said that we can be friends and I agreed, but I never contacted him again. About almost 2 months later he comes back. He apologizes for leaving and that he made a mistake. He tells me that I have no right to be mad at him for getting with her and I told him my reasons for being upset. He believes that he told me that he was talking to other people (which he didn't). Anyways he wants to work things out and take things slow, a few months pass he's acting the same way again, but he says there's no one else. I found out a few days ago that he was talking to his ex for 3 days. He started talking to her around the same time he was trying to make up with me a few months ago but then realized he couldn't make it work with her again. Now she's back in the picture, why I don't know but I'm upset. He was taking things slow with me and now that she's back me and his ex are "just friends" I'm trying to work things out with him and he pulls her back in, he doesn't even want to be with her. I'm not contacting him until he can make up his mind. I feel really hurt about this, if he does get back with her I'm done with him for good!


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What Girls Said 3

  • You're doing the right thing xx I know it's hard. I'm going through something very similar myself. But you're proving that you were willing to change for the sake of the relationship. All he's proving is that he's too immature and doesn't want to change. He wants both you and his ex, and all you're currently doing is reinforcing his behaviour.

    I know it's hard but i think you need to take a stand and respect yourself. Don't give him anymore chances, you've given him plenty. If you can't trust him, after all this effort you're making. Do you want to honestly spend the rest of your life worrying if he's going to go off with another woman? You love him deeply, but you deserve to be loved just as deeply back.

    I honestly believe from everything you've said that he doesn't deserve you. Ignore his attempts at contact for at least a month. Ignore his calls, ignore his texts, do not reply. Show him what life is like without you. If he doesn't realize what an amazing person you are, you need to find someone who will.

    You need to do everything to make yourself happy, and make new friends, take up a new hobby, learn a new language. Keep yourself so busy you won't have time to think about him.

    Trust me when i say that men want what they can't have.

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  • well... he is your ex, so you really shouldn't care. but its not wrong that you do care. you still have some feelings stewing for him inside you. its not that uncommon. just dont let it get to you.

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    • I've taken step back and I'm going to let them work things out. We got into an argument about her the other day and I told him that I was hurt and how he just goes from saying that he loved me a few months ago to being "just friends." I'm not going to let him benefit having us both so with me out of the equation he can choose who he wants. The only difference between me and her is that she is closer, also I feel the only reason he's reaching out to her I to get some this weekend.

  • its normal to feel upset

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