My boyfriend and I broke up last night, I ended up going over to my exes house and we had sex, but he has a girlfriend. what do I do?

ny ex and i were on and off for 8 months but have stayed close to eachother for 2 years and talk almost everyday. it is obvious we both still have feelings for eachother, but he's been with his girlfriend for over a year now although they did date before him and i, he was just never happy so he ended it and then eventually met me but he ended up getting back together with her and i ended up getting a boyfriend, we had been together for almost 7 months and just broke up last night. my ex invited me to his house in hopes he could cheer me up and it did, and eventually we ended up kissing and then having sex. now my boyfriend or ex i guess, wants to get back together. I don't know what to do because i still love my ex (the one with the girlfriend) but i dont want to wait around until he finally breaks up with his girlfriend. and i still kind of like my boyfriend but he's way to controlling and keeps saying he'll stop but then he's right back at it. someone help:(!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's tough. I suggest you take a week to yourself and don't try with either. If you're a serial monogamous dater then your best bet is to date a third person and take it really slow. So like no sex or anything. You might end up liking the third guy better and if you don't that's ok. You'll have time to gauge where you're at and you'll have to opportunity to see how your two ex'es feel about you. Right now they can both read your neediness and this decreases your value. They're both in control. Get some control back.

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    • thank you, but im thinking to just lay kind of low. I've never been this type of person but my currently ex was way to controlling I feel like I've been distant from him for a while and not to mention, still having strong feelings for my other ex.
      thank you for your comment tho

    • Understood. You're in over your head. The first step is to admit that to yourself. What you do afterwards is a personal decision that only you can make. Only then will you know what's best.

    • I appreciate that a lot, thank you

Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you do? Take a hard, honest look at yourself as a woman and ask if this is really the type of person you want to be. The type of person who willingly, knowingly agrees to be a catalyst to someone else's heartache. The type of woman who doesn't mind making her body a playground for a guy knowing that she's not his first choice. Is this really what you want to do with your existence? Settle for one guy who is way too controlling and never changes or another guy who just showed you he can't be trusted because he's a cheater who thought his d*ck was more important than his girlfriend's heart?

    What you need to do is forgive yourself for knowingly sleeping with him because that was f*cked up and extremely sh*tty. Then promise to never do something like that again. Because that type of woman that you described will never know what it's like to be loved on a certain level due to what she's made of; selfishness, deceit, self-absorption, inconsideration, and tactlessness. Next thing you need to do is stop focusing on these two guys and start focusing on cultivating your own happiness without the help of a man's d*ck or presence.

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    • thank you for that, you're completely right. it was such a mistake and i just feel horrible because i have never been this type of person.
      my current ex just acted like my father and i couldn't stand being with him anymore. and I still love my other ex but he has a girlfriend and i feel so bad he is a cheater and i should have never gone over in the first place

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    • this isn't who i want to be, and it will never happen again. i just have to learn how to forgive myself for doing this and not dwell on it because if i do then i'll never forgive my actions. i never done anything like this in my life so its such a disappointment for me that i would stoop so low and decrease my value. but you have helped me understand that i do need to forgive myself
      everyone makes mistakes, now i just have to live with them

    • The fact that you even just said that shows you have a moral conscious which is good. Forgive yourself. If you're brave enough to do it, then I'd even go so far as to personally apologize to his girlfriend woman to woman.

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What Guys Said 2

  • lol... you rebounded... nothing you can do about that now... its done.
    In my opinion (and yes i know its hard) you've fucked both relationships up now... you have exposed the first ex to be a cheater and the insecurity of the ex of last night. Long term scenario... ex number one is capable of cheating on you too.. and ex number two only wants you back because you seemed to move on quick but it won't leave his thoughts that you had sex damned near immediately.
    New chapter.

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    • thank you for the honesty

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    • I appreciate it

    • well, when you want more of stuff you probably won't like to hear (truth)... hit me up.

  • wow you should tell him you fucked another guy already. that might change his mind on wanting to get back together. really you fucked another guy that fast? wth is wrong with women these days.

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    • its messed up i know, i feel terrible. it was never supposed to happen but it did. my ex and i still love eachother and have never had sex with eachother before, not even when we were dating. my current ex boyfriend is kind of crazy and i dont love him really anymore so i dont know how to tell him without him completely freaking out and being pyscho

    • it doesn't matter how you feel you actions are the only thing that count. you should be single for a long time.

    • yeah i don't think im going to be dating anyone anytime soon and im going to work on fixing myself so i dont ever make the same mistake again

What Girls Said 0

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