Should I respond to my ex?

We broke up 9 months ago because he wanted to be single. We were together for 4 years and I'm still not over him. I am still in pain from everything. We were somewhat in contact but then he just stopped initiating and didn't contact me for a month. He thinks I'm okay and that I already moved on (because that's the face I put daily). He also thinks I'm fine with us talking from time to time, which I'm not because I want more. The last time we talked he seemed distant and cold and it was clear to me that he doesn't really want to be my friend or anything for that matter. It was a heartbreak all over again. Well he texted me today asking me what I'm doing. With a big smiley emoticon! Like nothing happened. I was thinking to just ignore him? Maybe it's bad from me that I act like I'm okay, maybe I should tell him I'm not okay? But that would seem pathetic. If I just ignore him for awhile, what will he think? Will he think I'm mad at him or that I moved on and don't want to do anything with him anymore?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a big supporter of NO CONTACT AT ALL after a breakup, for at LEAST several months, but if it was a long term relationship and ESPECIALLY if one person isn't over the relationship, don't contact at all for as long as it needs to be. A clean break is better than one where the wound gets ripped open again and again...
    If you respond to him, just be like "Hey I'm fine but I'm not ready to talk or be friends. Thanks for checking in but let's give it more time before we try to be friends" or something like that...

    Good luck!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you have been dumped remember this at all times... HE chose to break up so therefor it is on HIM to win you back if he wants you! You shouldn't have to do anything let alone waste a moment giving the person your time if they haven't made a proper effort to make things right with you. It seems to me like he is playing with your feelings and expects you to sort of just be there regardless of his behavior. I don't think you should respond. In fact as a rule of thumb it is smart to never respond to ex's unless they come out and actually say they are sorry and made a mistake or want to meet up to talk about things. Till then don't settle for meaningless chit chat. If he wants you he'll come back for you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i think you should respond with a I'm fine or not respond at all

    I wouldn't get mixed up in things with him. as you said you are still not entirely healed and talking to him may be like picking a scab before it's healed and just re-open the wound

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    • Eeh forgot to mention that I kind either want him back or out of my life for good. So would ignoring work for both cases? Like either he's gonna come back or I'm gonna get over it, can't harm right?

    • if you want him in your life respond. if you don't you can respond with a pleasantry (ex. "I'm fine") and then leave it at that

  • Just ignore him if it's too much to talk with him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • UUUUUGH I can't stand when the one who broke it off contacts you again, like you're supposed to be all HI! Omg how are you? Especially after 9 months? He must be either having a shitty dating life or he's lonely. It doesn't take almost a year to realize that you screwed up and miss that person. Forget about him. He blew it and he knows it. Don't give him the satisfaction of responding. Focus on you, and making your life amazing!

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    • I know right! LOL. Well he didn't really have a chance to miss me since I didn't ignore him after the breakup (I should've). So it's partly my fault that he thinks I'm gonna welcome him with spread opened arms and big smiley on my face. Yeah I agree he should be ignored. And when people say "until you are over him bla bla" I mean if I'm over him then what's point in stay "friends"? It's like "okay you screwed it over you ripped my heart apart, now I'm heal now we can hang out like nothing happen!" hell no! Maybe I'll be over him but I will never forget the pain.

    • You'll get over him. He's not the last man on Earth, so many possibilities await you. Be excited about that!

  • Don't respond.

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