Why do I still think about him even after all this time, and after everything else? I thought I was moving on when dating other people happened?

Okay so I was with this guy and basically it was a "almost relationship." He was an ass sometimes and everyone including myself knew I deserved better (long story) and so I started to slowly reply with short answers, and then started to ignore him altogether because I couldn't deal with it. I would answer his phone calls just to make sure he was okay, but it was usually 3 am asking me to come over (which I of course always denied) then he'd call again and I wouldn't answer. I took him off as following on my social media and no longer follow him. He said sorry for some things but not the real reason he hurt me. So I've been seeing other people, and everything, so why am I still not over him? I thought the number 1 way to get over someone was to go out with different people. And I have with 3 other guys. Yet I'm still wanting to text him and everything! I know he's not gonna change, and know it wouldn't be the smartest decision. But I still wanna see him. Is it because I'm the one that ended it and that if I really wanted to I could see him? The other night I was drunk and texted him "hey" and he replied within seconds with a "hey" back and realizing what I did I didn't reply. So it is because he doesn't hate me that I still miss him? If he told me "I hate you and never wanna see you again" I would get over him. I NEED HELP ON WHAT TO DO. Thank you! & yes I know some of my actions don't make sense, but that's not the point of this question. What's been done, has been done.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like you actually loved him. if's he's anything like me, he's going just as crazy.

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    • He was the first guy i was ever serious about and did anything with. But how could I love a guy that didn't want to put labels on us? Like its a long story, and I don't know how to explain it. Like i got tired of him not wanting that with me. I would feel stupid texting him "hey I still think about you" and then it go back to what it was before you know? And he texted me multiple times, and sent me a picture of us... But if he really missed me wouldn't he tell me that instead of random texts?

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    • Wow that was worded perfectly. Thank you so much!!!

    • No problem.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's normal to think of past lovers especially if you really connected with them. It doesn't matter how it ended. Some people can break up with you and you'll still miss them. I doubt you being the one who ended it is what is causing you to miss him. You're likely missing him simply due to feelings and it takes a lot of time to get over it. You cannot force anything. I just know that often when we miss a ex it's us missing the IDEA of them and not the actual person as they are. We get caught up in a fantasy perfect world and think they are amazing when in reality they hurt us many times when we were together and it likely wasn't so perfect.

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    • Thank you! So it literally just takes FOREVER to get over someone? Like its been about over 3/4 months...

    • 3/4 months is nothing...

      You'll have to be more patient and no it won't take forever either :)

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • in my opinion, TIME is the number 1 way to get over someone. It's pretty normal for u to still have feelings for him or constantly think about him if u guys ended things like a few months ago. I agree, a lot of our actions dont make sense especially when the breakup is fresh. We'll realize that sooner or later. Im glad you're not beating yourself up about that. When breakups are fresh, sometimes our feelings go on a rollercoaster. "I hate him... I still love him... Why did I do that? What was I thinking? I dont care if I did that... I would never ever take him back... I miss him." It's a normal process if u ask me. When u said that he could be an ass & everyone said u deserve better, that part stood out to me so hopefully u really think things through before u decide to get back with him (if u decide that).

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    • Thank you! Yeah I don't know what to do. He was nice most of the time, but some of his actions were what made him the asshole sometimes. I don't think he meant to intentionally but still actions speak louder than words. I'm afraid that I'll tell him I'll miss him and he'll say the same but he won't want to change so it'll literally be pointless. If that makes sense.

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