Forgive him or move on?

I have been with my fiance for 2 years and he proposed to me a year ago.

A few months ago I noticed he added his ex back on to Facebook. I thought nothing of it because I trust him. He started to act strange a week after the add, like he's sat right next to me but he's not actually here, he was so distant and then he started to come around again but something still wasn't right.

Up until 2 days ago, I was happy until he admitted he had been seeing his ex behind my back for the last year and that I shouldn't blame or get angry at her but him and that he doesn't deserve forgiveness. He's admitted he has stronger feelings for her then he does for me.

I don't know what to do anymore I feel so broken I can't live without him... should I forgive him or move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, you CAN live without him. Right now I'm sure it's tough and there's a lot of feelings and emotions going through you, which is to be expected. But look on the bright side, at least you found out who this guy really is BEFORE you got married, and he was honest with you that he's more interested in some other girl than you. You deserve better than that, and there is someone out there who's going to be even better to you and will respect you how you should be.

    I'm sure it's not going to be easy or happen over night, but be glad you know where things stand and start making moves in the right direction to move on with your life right now. Don't rush into another relationship, take some time off to take care of yourself and spend time with your friends and family and allow them to be there for you.

    It feels like the end of the world right now, but you're young and there ARE other people out there who you eventually can start meeting, and there IS someone out there who will be head over heels for you and will be honest and loyal to you and you alone.

    Keep your head up and keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. You'll get through this, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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    • What an amazing response, I couldn't have typed better advice myself.

      Please listen to him, Anonymous.

      Do what is best for you, you deserve so much better, you really do. <3

Most Helpful Girl

  • I will admit that being as wise an owl that I am, it is Better to know the truth the whole truth and Nothing but the Truth before walking down that aisle here, Dear... Because now you cannot Trust him as far as you could throw that bouquet.
    He has Openly Admitted about this ghost from his past and it appears she isn't this blast but One who along with him putting her Back on the Book, This is the demise it has led to with your own relationship, that now has rattled your own chains.
    He is still in love with the skeleton of yesterday and there is no bones about it. You need now to walk away, try and Begin a new Beguine of licking your war wounds and find someone whom isn't tied to tomorrow's sorrows.
    This will only Continue down a beaten path, Become a Full circle Problem pattern and no matter how you slice that wedding cake, she is the one he will take.
    Good luck. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • "He's admitted he has stronger feelings for her then he does for me."

    Whatta coward, rather than facing you and being a man and facing the music, he goes and sabotages. Freaking man up and break up. Instead he's still making you do the work? Whatta pussy.

    this guys sucks, Thank God you didn't get married. Be happy it ends today and not when you guys have a mortgage, kids and a life long custody battle.

    I am sure i'm being harsh but as a 3rd party whose not emotionally involved?

    "should I forgive him or move on?"
    - you know my answer.

    Break up are tough, being cheated is the worst thing in the world but when there's no trust in a relationship... there is no relationship. I am sorry this dildo guy did this to you. Be strong, leave this loser and re-focus everything back on you.

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  • First off I'm really sorry to hear that a guy would be such an asshole like that. As tough as it sounds I think the best thing for you now is to try and move on. There's no point in being if someone if you're not their priority. Someone else is out there who can love you better than he ever could. It's really sad that someone would do that and be cool about it. I hope this helps. I'm always here to talk if you need anymore help or anything

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  • Both for one your not forgiving him for him your doing it for you so that you won't be depressed or be doubtful about the next person. Two, if he trying to walk out of. your life because he still have strong. feelings for his ex let him go you won't even remember the time with him when you move on.

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  • Move on.. we are (other men) waiting for you

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  • don't. use used to and he strung you along.

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  • Wtf damn ya fuck him what a bitch he did that on purpose.. so u don't see anyone else

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  • Im sorry but HE is not the one for YOU... time to be free

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  • Move on. He has stronger feelings for her... You cannot change that.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Move on girl. And I promise, you CAN live without him! We all go through heartbreak at some point or another, its just part of life and dating! Move on and take time for yourself, don't jump into another relationship because rebounds rarely ever last and someone ends up hurt again.

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  • Move on. Although this breakup is going to be extremely difficult, it will be nothing in comparison to the hurt he'll cause you over the years if you choose to forgive him.

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  • Move on. He kept it from you FOR A YEAR. You can forgive him and not be with him. That's your best option, he didn't think about your feelings for that whole year, so clear you conscience, don't say anything nasty that you'll regret, and forgive him and find someone else that respects you enough to not be with their ex too.

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  • MOVE THE FUCK ON! I can't believe how dishonest people can be! This is like a nightmare.

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  • Please move on. You could never trust him again. It's self harm to go back to him. Find someone who loves you.

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  • Has he asked you to forgive him/do anything?

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  • leave him, he doesn't love you enough to be faithful. he never lost feelings for her obvi

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  • Move on. He will never see you in the way he sees his ex. But keep the ring.

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  • Dump his ass, he's lame and doesn't deserve you -_-

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  • Move on. You can live without him. The trust is gone, and if you forgive him he will think it's okay to cheat again because you already accepted that that's what you deserve. If there isn't trust, then why stick around anymore

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  • Move on, take the ring and then sell it ;)

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  • Move on, trust me once a cheater always a cheater

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    • My ex told me cheated in the past with her exs. Do you think this is always true?

  • Are you sure he even ever broke up with his ex also he might just be torn is the a child involved in the previous relationship, do u live together these things are huge sign that he is a player, to be honest I know as hard as it's going to be because I'm going the through the same but leave it's the best for u, you don't deserve to get treated like this and then take him back, you will get so much better Hun xx

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  • Move on.

    That jerk isn't worth it.

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