I know already that I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but I seriously don't know what else to do. I am 27, married to a 25 year old. I love this girl, but I'm seriously starting to wonder if "love" is enough. We have been together for going on six years now. Just a little background, I am ex military, and even though it's not a given anymore, fitness is very important to me. I try to work out at least four times a week, and run at least six miles twice a week. Hiking is my favorite hobby. Mind, I didn't used to be this way. I used to be a scrawny, awkward looking kid. My wife was the opposite. She was a thin little band girl, immensely beautiful. Every guy in her high school wanted to be with her. Over time though, laziness took over. While I still love her, she has put on a significant amount of weight. It was just a little when we got married, but in the last year she has likely put on forty pounds. I don't know for sure because she hasn't told me her weight since she was 125 three years ago. It makes me sad because she is sad about it, but at the same time she refuses to make changes. She has told me she will "go to the gym tomorrow" for the last three months, but I can't say anything about it without making her feel like shit. I've asked her to run and walk with me, but she always said no, so I've stopped asking. I can't even enjoy sex with her any more. I used to not be able to keep my clothes on around her, going so far as to do it in her parents' living room while people were still up. Now, I can't help it, as much as I try to enjoy it I just feel her rolls and belly. I usedto love her bubble butt, now it's all thigh. I know I sound so shallow right now, but I really do love her, just not the person she's become. At first I thought it was maybe depression, or a temporary thing she would just snap out of, but it's been like this for so long now. As her health has declined, so has her happiness. She's more moody than she used to be. I just don't know what to do anymore. I never thought I would be this person, but I'm actually contemplating divorce. I can't go the rest of my life loathing the idea of sex, and seeing her hurt every time I turn her down, and closing my eyes every time I do say yes just so I can fantasize and manage to get off. Divorce is a last resort, and something I hate the idea of, I'm just worried it may be the only option I have for a happy relationship.
Most Helpful Girl
Have you told her that her health is hurting you too? Honestly it does sound like she's a bit depressed, whether as a cause or consequence of her weight gain. I wouldn't break things off with her just yet. You love her and want her to be healthy again, and just asking her to go to the gym sometimes isn't going to be enough. It might be time to get a little tough. Not in a mean way... but in a strong way. You need to tell her that her weight is worrying you, that you want to help her, and that it's affecting you in a lot of ways. Don't tell her it makes you want to leave her.
You might have to push her a bit. You might have to make her go to the gym when she doesn't really want to. I'd also consider looking into psychological help if she's depressed
You want to see her healthy again. Don't give up on her yet, just be a little more tough and stubborn about it. Sometimes people need to be pushed before they change or admit something is wrong.4
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