Why would she mention that she HAS feelings for me?

alright this is gonna be a long read but all and any input is greatly appreciated.

OK so I have this friend which is my best female friend known her for about 5 years. we've always been close but this past year gotten a lot closer and I have caught some real feelings for her which I've never have for any other female. I've never told her due to the fact that I'm worried about what might happen between us as friends.

She is going to school 8 hours away from here and I went to visit her a last week. We were both intoxicated and I told her how I felt and we were all over each other nothing sexual but stuff that people who are more then friends do. That was the first day and 2 days later same thing happened. And when I brought it up recently she says she doesn't regret anything and that it was fun.

Fast forward couple days later I come back home nd I bring it up something that wasn't done over there while we were sober. She says she has feelings for me and has had them but she didn't know what to make of them, and that she needs time as she is confused and this was to much at one time. Understanding I said that's fine. 2 days later she goes out wit her friend and is drinking and is not drunk but she starts texting me asking if I'm hubby cause she needs some of that. So I'm thinking she's made up her mind of how to feel of her feelings.

We talked last night about everything and she says she's still confused pretty much the same thing she told me before. She says this is to much at once and that its all a shock and she doesn't know how long it'll take to reflect on what her feelings really mean. She has told her only friend where she's living now and the friends answer was also "time". And when I ask what's all the confusion she says she's not sure. And my first thought was this was her way of letting me down easy, but 1. she is the type that'll be straight up and tell you how it is (I've seen it) and 2. she says that she has feelings as well. And me myself am a little confused

I think maybe telling her all this in person sober would make a difference (which she agreed) and we've kinda agreed to keep things how they are now (which is a little more then friends but not quite relationship) until we talk bout it in person or if she figures what those feeling really mean.

So I guess what I want to know is who's been through this or what does all this mean. Women have any of you guys felt shocked/confused like this? Will telling her all this in person make a difference, she may not think I'm serious. And like I said I thought maybe this was her way of letting me down gently but why would she mention that she HAS feelings for me, and why would she bring up all the stuff that happened (it got pretty heated almost went all the way) and say that she liked it. Why wasn't the first thing she say when I told her that we are just good friends. She said this is definitely not a no but she needs time to resolve what her feelings really mean.


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  • First off, she doesn't think like you or me. Women embrace their emotions out in the open, unlike us who generally wrap them up tie them to a concrete block and hurl them into a deep river. So she sees everything you do, but through a lens of emotions full of friendship, lust, empathy, and everything else. She's confused, being pull about by her thoughts, she has more to go through and sift out to choose what she wants. Additionally she has a five year emotional bond with you, that's a value to any relationship. Its best that you're both completely honest with each other. I'd try to push for an answer though, let her know you are interested in a romantic relationship, don't be an overly persistent d*** about it, but make sure she knows of your interest.

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    • I agree with you. And I stressed that with her to be honest. when I came back home I told her that everything that was said and done I meant nd she said it meant somethin to her nd she has feelings but doesn't know what to make of them nd is confused and said we need to express all this in person which might have a differnt effect then over txt and phone. she's putting up her guard don't know why but like you said I'm sure its the friendship thing if it doesn't work, which I'm afraid of to.

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