How do I break up with a guy who MIGHT cut/hurt himself if I do?

I HAVE tried breaking up with him before, but he just started crying and begged me to stay. Then he said that he'd cut himself or kill himself or something.

I know he might be manipulating me into staying with him, but I just don't want to be or feel responsible of him doing something to himself...

Im just not happy anymore...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • God this is allways tough.

    OK so let me give a small history on my personal experience with this. I myslef have suffered form depression and use to self harm...I dated someone who somtimes cutted..and was verryyy depressed and I feared suicidle. I broke up with them but made sure to keep an eye on them and have my friends tell me how my ex was doing. it turned out fine. My most recent ex use to be suicidle and depressed...use to do some drugs and stuff. I was very scared he'd start drinking agaian and doing drugs and just f***ing up...I needed ot break up with him (not for those reasons) and I was very scared to...i thought he'd relapse and id blame myslef. My friend told me shed be there for me and to not put it all on my slef...i can't carry that on my back. I broke up with him politley. I told him I was very sorry and that this just wasn't working for me ..that I would like to be friends. I kept an eye on him and am friends with his brother...he's doing fine.

    if you are really worried talk to one of his close friends right before..and tell him that you care about this guy but its not going to workout and that maybe he should have someone keep an eye on him after you breakup with him.

    hope my advice helped

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just break up with him... If he tells you that he is going to cut himself just tell him to do it cause you won't give jack sh*t.! When he starts crying call him a bitch! Cause that's funny!

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  • "I know he might be manipulating"

    There's no "might" He is manipulating you.

    "I just don't want to be or feel responsible of him doing something to himself..."

    This is no reason to stay in an un-happy relationship. If he cuts himself it's not your fault. Maybe you should call his parents or a friend of his and tell them what's going on before you leave him. So they can talk to him about it.

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  • wow jus leave him.. b4 he does something to u

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What Girls Said 2

  • Its not fair to you to stay in the relationship if you're not happy and you're being forced to. You need to tell one of his close friends or someone who can help him (like a suicide helpline person). Sit down and talk to him about everything and tell him that you don't want to continue the relationship anymore and that you're there to help him get help so that he doesn't have to resort to harsh violence against himself. Be prepared to give him the information for the people that'll help him. Once you break up with him tell someone who's close to him to keep an eye on him just in case as well as keeping contact with him to make sure he's okay but keeping a distance so that you're not leading him on in any way.

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  • Somewhere along the way he learned that making threats like this will help him get his way. And what he's saying IS a threat, a way to get someone to do something against their will... at the bottom of it, really no different than if he were to say "If you leave me, I will kill YOU."

    I know it's freaky to hear and makes you second-guess yourself when he says stuff like that. If it makes you feel any better, it is EXTREMELY RARE for someone who is truly thinking about suicide or hurting themselves to throw it in other people's faces like he is. What he is doing is extremely controlling and selfish and if he wouldn't act this way if he had any interest in having a real relationship or if he cared about your well-being in general. Just walk away and stop perpetuating his belief that he can say stuff like this to control other people.

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