Why am I so scared of being happy?

A little background: I'm smart and am told I am pretty. I have no problems attracting guys or making the right grades in school. I got out of my third bad, consecutive "relationship" in June. All three "bad endings" involved another girl behind my back.

I am currently dating a wonderful guy. He's sweet, smart, funny and considerate. He cares about me. All this being said, I start to envision how things will go wrong. I assume they will. In fact, I'm already envisioning how he will tell me he cheated and how I will respond. If it's not that, I think of ways to "detach" myself from him. I've thought about breaking things off on more than one occasion because I think I'm starting to care too much about him. If I can leave first, I can't get hurt. It troubles me that I have these thoughts. I just recently met his two best friends and found myself really attracted to one of them. WHY do I have these terrible thoughts? I like him a lot, but I can't deal with more than I can bear to lose at this point. I thinking I'm screwed up. any words of advice?


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  • Sometimes I feel the same way, I catch myself sabatoging my current relationship with my negative thoughts...He is so good, and very different from the last guy that totally broke my heart, I am choosing to believe that maybe this time it is different, that he actually cares about me...Stop sabatoging, and start believing that he truly cares, and your feelings for him are genuine, how are you gonna be with someone if you can't completely let go...its not fair to him, give him a chance!

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  • I can see why your having trouble accepting the feelings this guy has for you, you've been hurt in the past and your afraid of it happening again. I know when you get hurt once you're thinking the next guy that comes into your life will do the same, but in reality we got to stop thinking that way... we gotta give every guy a chance. As much as us females like to think that "EVERY GUY IS THE SAME"...theyre not. They may have a lot of similarities..but theyre not all the same. There ARE good guys out there...you just have to wait for the right one to come into your life...remember EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...so if those past 3 guys you were with cheated on you, that means it wasn't meant to be, and you need to keep searching for "Mr.Right".

    Im sure I'm gonna be put in a similar situation as yours pretty soon when or if I start dating someone new...my boyfriend of 4yrs just broke up w/me bcuz we "argue too much"...and he said I have to move on, dEspite the FaCt thAt we haVe 2yr old SoN togEther! So I'm very much still in love with him, but one can only wait so long for that person to make up their mind...So eventually I'm gonna have to move on and look for for another guy and I'm sure I'm gonnna be hesitant in believing what he tells me, just like you.

    So the best advice I can say is to take a day at a time, give him a chance, and don't come to conclusions so soon just becuz the rest have done you wrong.

    Good luck gurl!

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