Met up with my ex?

I met up with my ex today... this is the 7th time I've seen him since we ended things. We discussed a lot of topics and it ended up going for 4 hours.

To summarise what we spoke about it was pretty much
• He's over aspects of the relationships but others he's not- he is having a hard time dealing with the lonelyness. He's alone a lot as well as I because we both don't have that many close friends. He said he always finds himself thinking "I could be doing this with her, or we could be doing something right now."
• We both haven't deleted any texts/photos or anything on our phones and he said last night he was flicking through his text messages and it made him realise it was good to break up as we were fighting a lot in the messages and that we would fight over little things because we both let it get to us.
• Both can't seem to watch the TV shows we were watching together.
• My friends were telling him about the bad stage I was going through in my life after the break up he said it really worried him because there were feelings still there. This is why he kept on asking them all if I was okay and also if I was angry at him. Why didn't he just ask me himself? Most ex's come back at some point but he hasn't seemed to initiate conversation in text. He's a very confusing man.
• He asked me when drunk the other week if I was seeing anyone or have been. He didn't remember asking this and felt really ashamed and was apologising to me. He said he thinks he asked because no ex likes to hear that they are dating someone else.

Its so straight forward but it's still so confusing, can you all tell me what you took from this? There is a lot more but isn't enough room to write.

I've never had an ex or a guy or I use to "see" be so confusing they have all tended to try get in contact after the breakup. With the whole "I miss you's" and such I'm greatfull he isn't doing that but at the same time I wish he was.
We only talk if we are out at a mutual friends party, or if there is something we need to discuss then we organise a time to talk.

I have deleted him on all of my social medias too. We went through a stage where we had no communication at all for two months, but recently have started seeing each other when we go somewhere we are both invited too. We have very minimal contact. (I do know people will say we need to cease all contact)


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  • Confused, My thought is that you both should get serious of what you want in life. If either of you really have a problem of setting down together and talking over your differences of opinions, then the one with the problem should grow up. Maybe you both need to understand what love really is other than trying to control each other, not saying you are or that being what it is. Talk things over and come to a mutual agreement of each others likes and dislikes including about each other, and how you both can work together to solve those problems. Alcohol does play a major role in influencing ones thoughts. So if you can't drink together with just each other, then get away from it and/or the one who chooses to continue to drink. If one drinks to a point of not remembering what they said or did, then they are drinking way too much and maybe too often. Learn to control or stop all together. Sometimes, to not remember something is an excuse that is normally used as a way to make one think it is the alcohols fault. Really? And that includes all other types of drugs. Have you told him to ask you the things he wants to know? Maybe tell your so called friends to not disclose information to him. After all, a relationship can be deeply damaged by the input of others. If you have any thought of this guy being the one in your life, and vise versa, don't be afraid to say so and show it to the other. But if you can't come to an agreement over the little things, I sure wouldn't continue to stick around for the worse. And don't allow jealousy of ones thought of the other seeing some one else rule your life. That is a form of control. It is hard sometimes to give thought on a subject of not knowing all the facts. That being said, is like maybe, answers being given from friends. You don't always get the right one and/or led to think the imaginable that might not be true. Talk to each other and settle where this relationship needs to go. Until that is done you both are simply hurting yourselves and each other. I hope something I have said is of value to you. Would like to know your thoughts on this input. Thank you.

    • He's a big drinker I am as well but he tends to do it to get away from his problems and he turns into a very emotional drunk and also has no filter when he drinks. I want to be with him he has the personality of what I want in a guy and he's great with my family. We broke up because we would fight a lot about stupid things but this was mainly braught on by a situation that was continuously happening.

      He had feelings for his best friend while we were together he would go over to her out at around 9pm-2am as they had on going to series they watched together. They never dated but both had feelings for each other before we dated and had made out once. He wasn't willing to stop going over there so late so he wanted to break it off as I couldn't let it go.

      I don't know what he wants I don't know if he wants to get back together he hasn't said that to me. I don't even know if he has feelings for me still. We had gone through a lot of stuff while we were together.

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    • They didn't sleep together they just watched movies/tv shows in her theatre room apparently. They both claim they would sit on opposite sides of the couch.

    • @klee___x Sounds like she has a long way to go as for experience for being 23. And he sure got lucky to of had you. I would have kept you if I were him. I don't understand why he didn't. I like your long hair and you have a pretty smile. I also like when a lady doesn't mind wearing some bracelets. Makes you look more independent. I like that in a lady.

  • Well were you faithful to each other? I mean was that a factor in the break up? If not then I would say that you guys were stuck in a rut and maybe feeling trapped (guys will feel that way if you don't fuss over them at least once a week) you know let him know how sexxy he is or that "omg you knocked the bottom out of me lastnight" even if he didn't. We are insecure, now there will be these "manly men" that will deni it but we are. And you as his significant other must reinforce his manhood with catering to his ego. I know sounds kinda goofballish but it needs to be done. And he needs to cater to your vanity with all the your so pretty and your hair looks great, you get it.
    So look if you want him back you have to initiate the process and let him know , cuz he can't do it because pride is man's boss and it says don't do it. So call him up and tell him how you feel , it will give what you both want and at the same time cater to his ego... unless you got to much pride.

    • Sorry I've decided to come of anon for my response. Cheating physically wasn't a factor of the breakup he did however have feelings for his girl best friend while we we together. He would go over her house from like 9-2am once a week and I wasn't cool with this he told me nothing was going on (I know they didn't do anything as she is the Virgin Mary) I just wanted him to stop hanging out with her at her house or so late at night at least as it was very uncomfortable. I consider him having feelings for someone else "emotionally cheating"

      He definitely didn't feel that way I would always show "fuss" over him, we were sleeping together quite regularly and I would always compliment him and show appreciation for him I know for sure it didn't have anything to do with that!

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