This guy that I have been dating was cheated on in his last relationship...I was also cheated on in my last relationship. We text all the time, hang out when ever this is a free moment and tell each other everything that we are doing, whether its staying late at work, going to a relatives house, down the street or to a friends, who all is at the friends house and if it there are men or women there. I feel like I should tell every detail what I'm doing and at times I feel like he is telling me everything he is doing because we want each other to know what we are doing, due to us both being cheated on. He went to his usual hang out after work, 3 days in a row and texted me when he got there, told me who all was there and so on. Well, the 2nd of the the 3rd time that he was there he texted me and asked if I was mad that he was there. I told him, no, why would I be mad. And he was like because this is where I go when I get off of work, but your still busy, so I was waiting for you to become available...Does this relationship seem healthy, so far? What do I or we need to do to keep an even balance? Oh, and the place he goes is not a strip club or a bar;...its like a bar/grill type of setting.
Most Helpful Guy
Seems average enough to me- though from my perception of what hasn't worked for myself:
Divulging the facts of your daily life upfront- usually makes the relationship less interesting. There is no drama or mystery in the air to create an alternate atmosphere. What that drama and mystery does- it makes couples argue.
- The arguements that take place because of those reasons are usually a foundation development cycle that creates a backbone to the relationship. Both parties start to understand each other and develope a meaningful bond because they are interacting at a "real" level. There is no sugar coating to a given situation.
The backbone described above is a reassurance tool that when something critical happens- neither the man or the woman would run for the hills. if they don't know how to handle a simple argument (or jealousy) that all couples have, then they are trying to prevent something that is a natural human trait.
I will admit it myself- when I see my girlfriend with another guy, it bothers me. Just like if I were with another girl- it would bother her.
The appropriate way to go about the situation is how you have done so PRIMARILY (asking if it's okay); however, afterwards when it has been approved as "okay" it would be respectful not to keep asking about being over there. You don't need permission in a real relationship- you need understanding.
- So instead of him requiring you to approve him being over there, you should naturally assume that he isn't doing anything wrong (aka you should trust him) and vice-versa for yourself.
Either way, to each their own- if this works for you and it doesn't bother you- why would you be asking about it here? It's my assumption that you want to improve upon this- am I wrong?