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I would leave him, not being materialistic, but if a person is struggling and loves someone they would be willing to receive help. I went through a similar situation w/my ex and I could no longer take the fact that he wasn't willing to step up in life and make a better life for himself. It would be fine if it was just him by himself, whatever, but he wanted to marry so you better bet that I want a man who can work w/me. He always told me he needed to do things "on his own", but I saw he made no effort. I sometimes lack ambition and I always accept help. I think my ex no longer wanted to be w/me and that could be what your boyfriend is doing to let you down gently.