Although my boyfriend knows that i'm willing to be w/him through his hardships, but he wants to go through this alone. Please give me advice?

my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We'r both 28. His financial situation basically sucks and it's always been that way since we've been together. He doesn't make much money at all and pays for a lot. I make more than him so i'm almost always the one who pays for everything when we go out. Fast forwarding to now, he's feeling overwhelmed over his financial situation and he feels like he needs to make his situation better alone. This hurts so bad because i've been with him for years now and the situation is still the same, so why break things off now? I told him that we should break up over money, and i know that things will get better eventually. He knows i'm frustrated, but i'm willing to stick by him. We had this conversation last week, but things haven't been the same... he's been really distant. Yesterday he told me that he knows how much he loves me, he knows he's going to marry me, and how he's going to propose, but he feels like he needs to be single right now. He said that it's okay if i date other people cause he knows that that's going to happen, but for me to know that he can't be the best possible boyfriend i need him to be or move forward with our future until he gets his financial situation together. I just don't agree. Again, I've been with him all along. I just don't know why we can't be together. I understand if he needs space while he's going through this, like i shouldn't mention him being distant and stuff, but i don't think we should end things.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He can't afford a relationship right now. Even if you offer to pay for things, he will feel guilty about it. As a result, he wants to be single.

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    • I'm not asking him to pay for things. I can take care of myself. Do you think i should try to talk to him again or just leave him alone?

    • Give some space and see how he responds.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would leave him, not being materialistic, but if a person is struggling and loves someone they would be willing to receive help. I went through a similar situation w/my ex and I could no longer take the fact that he wasn't willing to step up in life and make a better life for himself. It would be fine if it was just him by himself, whatever, but he wanted to marry so you better bet that I want a man who can work w/me. He always told me he needed to do things "on his own", but I saw he made no effort. I sometimes lack ambition and I always accept help. I think my ex no longer wanted to be w/me and that could be what your boyfriend is doing to let you down gently.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Help him with figuring out how to become financially strong. Give him reasons why you can help, like role playing for interviews, being his number one fan.

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    • Do you think i'll be being too pushy if I do this? I already told him how i felt last week.

    • You are fighting to keep him aren't you.

  • If he want his space. If he is upset that you make more than him. Is not the money, issuse. Because, he have an ego problem. He felt you have a lot of money. If he want to date other person. Let, him. Because, you will see what kind of person he is. Other, reason that he wants to be the man of the house. Some men's get jealous, when a women ( like you ) make more money. If you want to wait for him. It's up to you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I went through a similar thing with my boyfriend, he broke things off with me a year into our relationship because he was dealing with immense college stress and couldn't provide much time to devote to me. I've learned that when guys get that way they tend to cut people out, in my experience. Just give him his space so he can work through it. Keep talking to him if you want, let him know you're still there for him and give him some optimism and encouraging words. Things will get better in time.

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