How to deal with this feeling?

My now ex boyfriend has moderate to severe depression which affects his daily life. Some days are worse than others, but on some days he has no motivation, just wants to shut out the world (he's an introvert so he loves alone time anyway) and nothing appeals to him. He has no sex drive the majority of the time and often doesn't want to go out.
He's also having anger issues which he's apparently had most of his life (he's 26)
He started seeing a psychiatrist a month or so ago and has decided that he can't be in a relationship right now until he works on himself. He says that between his classes he's starting in January (he's a paramedic who will be taking fire classes), his depression/anger and other things, that he needs to be alone while he works on himself for at least a year.
The thing is, is that even with his depression, he was a fairly good boyfriend. He was attentive, remembered little things about me/things I liked, listened, surprised me with gifts for no reason, good sense of humor, sweet, cared for me when I was sick, etc. He says that he wasn't a good boyfriend to me and that if he'd been "normal", he would've been (he said he was comparing how he was with me to how he was in his other relationships a couple years ago before his depression got bad). He told his friend (and his friend told me) that he'd told him if we'd met at a different time, we would've made it.
I can't help but feel jealous that some girl a year or so from now is going to get him when he's better. I know how dumb it sounds but I stood by him through his depression and I know that he's a great guy.
I just feel jealous. Is that a normal feeling? How do I get over that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Been there myself ( depression issues ) Look at it this way, there is no guarantee you will not cross paths again in the future !!
    Good for you for standing by him when it was tough, but he needs to find himself by himself.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It is a normal feeling. I have the same regarding my ex who is in a somewhat similar situation. He thinks he will never be able to be in a relationship again but all I can think about is that one woman who gets to make him happy for the rest of his life and it hurts me that it won't be me. But I see how amazing he is even if he doesn't and i know he will find someone again..

    Unfortunately I can only relate to you and not advice you on how to get over it.. :(
    I suppose it's just something that will have to get better with time..


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What Girls Said 1

  • Its a normal feeling! You work so hard for a person and then you get screwed over! Next time you invest on a guy make sure he got his SHIT together bc if you don't someone else will get him! It remind me of a song!


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