How to move on?

So it's been a bit over 2 weeks since me and my boyfriend split and with the heartbreaking message of him not wanting to be friends, I'm completely alone. I've cried, given into the negative feelings that have been piling up, I've been angry, furious, vengeful and had downright devious thoughts but when they subsided, nothing was left but longing and hurt. I miss having someone to talk to. I miss his voice and everything about him but I know it's over. I know I've lost and I know I need to move on, however I have no desire to find someone else. I don't believe in the whole "he wasn't right for you if you broke up" - feelings aren't based solely on who you can be with for the longest time - sometimes the person who may be right for you isn't the one you can be with and I know and believe that he was the one for me. I just can't be with him. However what I can do is move on with my life but I'm not sure how. I don't have any friends, like at all - I have people I talk to online but it's slightly different. I haven't been "out" with anyone since February and I only leave the house for walks, work, shopping etc. But I'm always on my own. I'm kinda the odd one, I haven't had any friends since 2010. How can I move on when I don't have anyone to talk to? Making friends isn't easy and I'm just told to go out and make some. "Go to public places" etc doesn't work.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry man, break ups are tough and emotionally taxing. Personally i was so emotionally drained after my last break up and what helped me get through it was i set out projects to get me busy and productive. My life consisted of these things for about 6 months after i broke up:

    5am - 6:30 am = crossfit (gym)
    8am-5pm = work
    5-7pm = shower, eat
    8pm Sleep.

    Saturday: 9am - 11pm crossfit
    Saturday --> Sunday = remodel my office room.
    sprinkle in time to figure out my new career path while mtn biking / tennis.

    I just made my life "busy" doing things i felt are positive things for me.

    Break ups are so difficult because there's so many questions that fill your head as far as "what's right, was he the one? did i mess up? did i quit? should i hate him? how do i move on?" Your self esteem takes a toll and it's all no fun but:

    i know that my office room needs updating, and i know for a fact exercise is a good thing.

    This is what helped me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't think you life is bad, it's pretty good compared to mine, you're healthy, no traumatic experiences, no pain that makes it difficult for you to breath. You just need to build confidence, work on your personality to make some new friends, there are places you can go to find new friends. Break ups are painful, but we all go through that, so there are more people that can tell you about, google it. Believe me, i wish i had your life.

    • Please don't, lol. Just last year I battled colon cancer and I had absolutely no one except my boyfriend. I have scars, so I'm absolutely not the perfect person qualified for your envy. Don't assume everyone is better off than you, but we all have our demons.

    • I was bullied for being adopted and bad a school, sexually abused by my father and raped by a friend. I wish i had cancer and die in peace

    • Don't say that. You should focus on improving your life and being happy. It's the only life you have so take control of it and make the best of it. <3

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe you got together too young, simple as that. Get out and enjoy life now, don't mope. See this as an opportunity to grow...


What Girls Said 4

  • well, first, eat some icecream. It will make u fell better for the moment. Unless u r lactose intolerent, then that would be a bad idea.
    Then think about any hobbies u do. Or somethings that interest u. It will also make u feel better (after all, you can't eat ice cream all of the time, although that would be amazing) and through something u enjoy you may find someone else who enjoys that and u might make a friend and you will have something in common.

  • Ugh you need ben and jerry! i am tell ya! It fix heartbreak!

  • Get on tinder and get underneath someone. It helps

  • Stop always thinking about him keep your mind busy on other things & not him. Forgive & Forget the relationship because it doesn't mean anything now. & make friends just start a conversation with anyone who would listen. Long as you're being yourself.

    • Well society sadly doesn't allow random conversation unless it's like an elderly person. But thanks I guess.

    • You have low self esteem but whatever.

    • Well thanks for your extremely helpful analysis on my apparent problem. Why are you here again?

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