I made a mistake and acted stupidly, will he forgive me?

My ex and I broke up like 8 months ago. We were together for 4 years and it was a great relationship, looking back I'm very proud of how good as a girfriend I was. We literally never had a fight or anything, as impossible as it sounds it really was flawless. Well he dumped me saying that he is a commitment phobe and that he just wants to be alone. Ofc it crushed me but I got over it. He is not a bad person overall.

I don't know what got into me yesterday. It's been a really bad month for me overall and I felt this huge emptiness and lonliness and damn I was so sad. Then I listened to that new Adele song and it remind me of him and I got this huge urge to contact him. Now, we've been in contact here and there, but not often. We only talked about us shorty after we broke up and never again. I was fine, he was fine. Until yesterday. So I sent him some funny youtube video and he responded interested on it, asking me what I'm doing and how I am. And I flipped out. I started with that I'm not that great, that I'm a mess, that stuff suck in my life and... that I miss him and hate him for breaking my heart. I continued with how he barely calls me anymore and stuff like that. Just a stupid drama. It felt like someone else is talking instead of me. He got all defensive and got angry at the end that reopened the doors that were closed long ago, he leashed out on me and then said he wants to go to bed and signed off. I fucked it up. I'm not blaming him for ditching me like that, he tried talking calmly but I just kept pushing it. When he signed off I went for a walk and cleared my head and felt terribly sorry. I sent him an apolagy text and told him that we can talk tomorrow if he wants because I would want explain and apolagize properly, but he never responded. If this is it and we won't talk ever again, okay, but I just don't want him to remember me as this crazy person, I don't want that to be our last conversation. Do you think he will hold this against me forever?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He will be upset with you for sure , but it will eventually pass and he will check in again to see if you will lash out at him again

    • I do agree. Especially if he has the feelings for her that he has shown in the past.

  • Yes you screwed up. And once again you screwed up by sending the text with adding that you both could talk tomorrow. You should have just left it at an apology and allowed him to contact you with hopes that he would within a reasonable few days. If not then contact him and just talk about what ever, but let him bring up what happened. To him, you might be coming across being too pushy. And to me, that is a big sign of trying to be in control. Besides, if you were together for 4 years and broke things off and had not been in touch for 8 months, it was most likely over. The reasons given for why he broke things off with you, to me, there is reason that after 8 months apart, he very well could be seeing someone else. You could be taking the chance that he would now just lead you on. So, move on and take it as a lesson learned.

    • No it's not that we weren't in contact for 8 months, we were actually and mostly by him. And every time we talked it was nice. Yeah I screwed up this time but hey I'm still a human we all have bad days, I don't think I should be crucified for loosing it only one time in almost 5 years. And I don't like walking away from my mistakes, I will try my best to fix them. He is not seeing anyone by the way.

    • Yes, you are right. You should not be crucified for loosing it or for only one mistake in five years.
      It really does sound like you have a lot of feelings for this guy. I might say that maybe you should try and slow down a little with your emotions with him. By the time you read this, maybe enough time will have passed by that if he has not been in contact with you, contact him. But before you go off the deep end trying to apologizing to him, try just plan talking about something to break the ice and get a small conversation going with him. From that point maybe you should cautiously start to tell him of your true feelings for him. Keeping the other gal out of the picture for now. At first maybe just ease on in there with something like, "you know, I really do miss having you in my everyday life." or plan and simple, "I Love You". What ever you may choose, maybe do it wisely and slowly, taking in the vibes you are getting from him. ( more to come)

    • You may want to prepare yourself for the worst as well as knowing the conversation may need to be short in order to give him a day or few to soak in the information. In time you will have another chance at your apology and to discuss this other girl if he has a desire to make things better between you and him. Even though you both have been down a long road together, try to remain calm, cool and collected. You are basically starting over again. I, myself am not trying to make you feel bad by anything I have written about this whole thing. I do simple want to try and be of help since you asked. I would appreciate knowing how things are progressing and willing to try and help more if I can. Of coarse that is your choice. Either way, I do wish the best of luck to you, and hope you get what you have set in your mind. Oh, and, a, thank you for asking for help, I also hope that I have been valuable to you as well. If so, maybe a thumbs up?

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