Why would a girl let a guy continue to pursue her if she seems to be not interested?

Why would a girl let a guy continue to pursue her if she seems to be not interested? Why not just tell him rather than lead him on, she's had many chances but keeps playing the hard to get game.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some girls just really want the attention that bad. They will just string guys along until they have had their fix and then boom no more calls, attention, anything.

    There could also be another situation going on in this girl's life, usually with another guy. Maybe she's being strung along herself? Maybe she has a crush on someone else, or doesn't think the relationship in the long term will work. She may have emotional problems.

    The only way to know for sure is be direct and ask her. See what type of vibes you can get off of that. I personally would run away from this chick, no matter what the reason she seems like a hol..lotta hastle.

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What Girls Said 24

  • girls like to get attention. if she tells you that she isn't interested then the attention will stop.

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  • Many guys like her, and she likes to have it that way. As soon as he gives up, it bothers her that he likes another girl more then her. She enjoys it because it's a confidence boost and she enjoys the attention. Many girls striggle with this, it doesn't mean they want to hurt the guy. It's just hard to control sometimes. It's soemthing you must learn to do.

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  • A lot of girls like the attention, like the other posts have said. I know someone exactly like that. However, those kinds of girls will probably continue to lead you on- since she doesn't seem interested, maybe she doesn't have the guts to tell you she doesn't want a relationship and is dropping hints instead. I'm like that; I hope a boy will move on, or what I'm interpreting as flirting is just friendliness, etc. It's passive-aggressive, but we feel bad coming out and saying something. I'm sorry if you're going through this! The best thing to do is ask the girl, which could be awkward but makes her give you a straightforward answer.

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  • As others said, yeah she could like attention.

    Here's the thing though - if I personally don't like a guy, I don't like his attention. I like attention from guys I find good looking and I don't know well enough to like or dislike (i.e. guys I never spoke to) or guys that I like.

    That being said, if you were talking about me or a shy girl like me, I'd need an obvious signal that you like me or else I would continue to be coy and seem like I'm playing "hard to get" even though its unintentional. And by obvious signal, I mean you'd have to tell me, ask me out, whatever.

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  • I know some girls that do it all the time, because they want the confidence boost. Others, will let it happen if they are maybe down on themselves and need a pick me up. I'm not saying it's right, but it's not that different from what so many guys do. Working for the hook up and knowing there isn't anything afterwards. It's just part of what we all are.

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  • most females like that feeling "am wanted" am attractive"...letting men chase them around or lead them on z part of the same story ...seeking attention is the main issue

    but mostly its self confidence issues that's their problem

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    • What if he stays in her life for quite a while and ends up getting a legitimate girlfriend, like not just one to make her jealous. How do you think would she react to that?

    • I guess a month max.

  • Can't really say for sure what's going on in the girls head. Maybe she does like the guy but thinks continually playing hard to get will work out in her benefit. Maybe she likes guys that put in a lot of effort in chasing her.

    Or she just likes the attention. I have a friend like this. She is fairly immature plus her self confidence is quite low. She cannot for the life of her imagine why every single guy she meets doesn't fall over her. Yes she is extremely pretty and a lot of guys practically DO fall over her... But when she meets ones that don't... even if she doesn't like them... even if she finds them disgusting (and sometimes they aren't. Sometmes they are hot and that really bugs her)... she complains that they don't hit on her. But if they DID hit on her, she'd talk (behind their backs of course) about how gross and creepy she found them lol.

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  • she likes the attention.

    why do guys keep talking to a girl they know they are not interested in dating? -they want to hook up.

    it would be nice if we could always just know people's intentions ahead of time.

    well, maybe not always, because sometimes they are liable to change and we could miss out on something great, but in general we end up following a dead end.

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    • I hear you but she,s the 1 who started the whole flirt thing with me like 4 months ago. I didn.t show her any attention because I had a girlfriend up till Christmas. Now I,m single I decided to text her & asked her to meet me & actually talk to get to know each other but she didn,t show up but when she sees me talking to another girl she gets upset, the dirty looks & stuff. I just don't get it .

    • If she was interested she would have met you, or at least given a legitimate excuse and wanted to reschedule. now she is probably annoyed that she isn't getting all the attention? idk

  • oh she just wants the attention definitely. lots of girls play the hard to get game to make something interesting in their lives if they have nothing else going on. it makes them feel empowered like they are in control of every little thing.

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  • attention or doesn't realise how you feel for her. she doesn't know unless you tell her

    or

    she may like you but doesn't know how to tell you so she just comes off like she isn't interested because she needs to communicate her feelings

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    • "she just comes off like she isn't interested because she needs to communicate her feelings"

      How does coming off as not interested communicate her feelings?

    • SHE NEEDS to communicatre her feelings be verbal say what she needs to say I meant she isn't communicating her feelings because she doesn't know how or what to say

  • She probably likes the attention or doesn't realize what she's doing.

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  • A lot of girls are scared to tell the guy how they feel, and that could be why. Instead, we try to be nice and some guys take it as flirting and leading on. Also maybe she does like him. Once again, she is probably scared to tell him how she feels. This might not be the answer that you want to hear, but she most likely doesn't like him because most of us girls will flirt a lot if we like the guy, and they guy will know. I hope you work things out with her.

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  • it might sound stupid but it makes me feel good.. knowing that someone is interested in me, it gives me confience.. this always happens to me and when he finally gives up and goes with another girl it bothers me..lol I feel jealous..

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  • either she's scared to tell the guy the truth or she doesn't want to be mean. if it was me, I would tell the guy that I'm not into him. after bullsh*t I went through I know how it feels.

    keep in mind though, every girl is different.

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    • .Thanx for replying, so why would she get upset when I talked to other girls, I think were stuck in 1 of those situations where she's not sure if I like her & vice versa. I do like this girl but when I talked with this girl & kind of ignored her ,but not intentionally

      she got really upset so when I tried to get in touch with her( via email) to meet she didn't show. If you don't like someone, you have no reason to get upset,right. Now we just ignore each other, kinda sucks

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    • Hahah thanks for the secret :) happy to help!

      the thing is if a guy ignores me I will try really really hard to get over him but it's hard...for any girl, especially if you guys talked before and really know each other well. sometimes its hard for me to get over a guy I liked even if we didn't talk much.

      personally, it takes me some time to, but some girls may get over it quicker. but even if this girl has lost interest maybe when you talk to her the feeling will come back. that happens a lot.

    • Ok thanx

  • maybe she isn't sure about what she wants, maybe she isn't sure if she likes the guy or not and doesn't want him to quit pursuing her because she likes him a bit.

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  • she either had been hurt a lot in the past and feels like a guy should have to work for what he wants, or she is just playing games straight up because she knows she can take advantage of the fact that she can make you feel/look dumb.

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  • Some people do not want to hurt someone - sometimes if a girl is playing hard to get it because she is hesitating with you for one reason or another. I would say it is one of these reasons, and if you really like her find out which one it is. . .

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    • Yea I thought of that but why would she get mad when I talk to other girls, dirty looks & glares & when I reach out she ignores me, & the screwed part is I haven't even talked to this girl yet. I do like her but if a girl acts like that now, I could just imagine what a relationship with her would be like.

    • She just may be insecure and or competitive. I would not get to involved if she is already exhibiting these traits!

  • ecause it makes us feel special ...it strenthens our ego..

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  • she likes attention from guys, she likes to know that someone likes her.

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  • its flattering and we like the attention.

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  • She's scared to tell the guy the truth.

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  • I can answer this! I'm not a confident girl, and I'm still learning how to say "no" to things and people I don't want. I've always been taught to be extremely polite to everyone, including people you DON'T like (seriously, that's how I was raised. yeah.)

    I feel bad about doing it, and it's easier to see things in retrospect, but at the time, I didn't know how to stop the guy. (He was kind of creepy too - he'd knock on my door and try to talk to me randomly.) ***It was like staring down at a train, waiting for it to come and wreck up your car on the tracks, helpless to stop it.*** Until finally, it got to far, I didn't want to be in a relationship with him, and I just had to be "mean" and say "No" outright.

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  • because he most likely won't care that she is not interested.

    i've been in this boat many times but its because he won't give up, that you keep letting him pursue.. its like we are not interested, but we still want this guy to be around, because of good personality, good looks, conversation etc.. so wen we continue to talk to hm he thinks we like him

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  • To boost her ego of knowing that a guy likes her and that she could have him if she wanted\

    Its a confidence thing...all girls don't do this but if she is insecure and doesn't feel that great about herself she would lead him on

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What Guys Said 9

  • ok look, its not that she's scared to tell the truth its that she likes the attention...ive been through this and when I stopped giving the attention you get more from the girl..."why isn't he being like he used to" "what the hell does he not notice me anymore" ... girls love attention weather they want you or not...thats basically all it is lol...you start playing hard to get and walking past her w/o giving attention .. that way you can see if she wants your attention back and if she's willing to try, if not oh well find a girl who wants your attention

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  • I have not read the responces from other people but I am sure that the responces will be very divided especially between that of a woman and a man.

    here is the truth;

    Women love attention its a fact (in fairness everybody does, but women can't get enough of it). If she is playing you then the best thing to do is to stop chasing, it can go one of two ways.

    1: you drift apart because she is not interested. this way you know you were waisting your time and you can persue someone else.

    2: she gets frustrated at the lack of attention you are showing her and comes after you, then the ball is in your court and she is in the palm of you hand.

    try it out, I garentee one of those two things will occur, and they both sound like good options for you.

    FACT!

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  • it's healthy for their ego.

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  • man I feel you, this has happend to me so many times, and I hate how girls or other people say "you are going after the wrong girls then", yeah well how are we supposed to know if they are the right ones or not? Duh!, that's why we have to get to know eachother, and what p*sses me off more is that girls often get away with it, since all they have to do is welcome or deny us guy's advances on them, seriously, initially girls have it way easier.

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  • because it makes them feel gud 2 get atention. also it s an ego thing.

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  • It's because girls are d***s.

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  • shes mean

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  • Because in all honesty... she's selfish and immature.

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  • LOVE this question. Hope we get some more insight. I went on a date with a girl and asked her for a second one and she pulled the busy stuff. I thought she was genuine, so a few weeks later I asked her again, she said she was busy. But she never told me off. So just for the hell of it, I wasn't serious, I wanted to see if she'd just tell me she's not interested, so I asked her AGAIN and offered her THREE DIFFERENT DAYS as options. Busy for every single one. I just laughed and stopped talking to her. Just say you're not interested!

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    • She was definitely note interested after the second date. but it's hard to say you're not. when was the last time you went on a date with a girl, decided you weren't interested, and then told her so?

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    • Yeah, but the point is that this girl I'm talking about DIDN'T sever communication. She'd actually call back herself and ask me when I wanted to go. She kept playing that dumb game and never made time for me even though she kept calling me a few days after I asked her.

    • She kept calling because she wanted to make sure she still had you, just checking like everyone else has been saying, to satisfy her ego or confidence. I am taking your advice though ,if she, or when she comes up to me I'm just going to tell her I'm not interested.

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