If you catch your bf/gf cheating, is it OK to break up with him without giving him an explanation?

I caught my boyfriend kissing another girl, so I told him it was over and ignored all his calls and texts. On one of those texts, he said I was wrong for just breaking things off when we haven't talked about the situation.

I'm done with him because I told him when we first got together that if you cheat I'm gone. I've never cheated on him.

Is I'm wrong for not trying to talk things out?

Updates:
"Am I" not "is I'm"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He cheated on you. You really don't owe him shit.

    What could he have said, anyway?

    "I wasn't really cheating, I was just... inspecting that girl's tonsils... with my tongue!"

    "It was... it was an optical illusion!!"

    "I did it for us! Because... it was... you... Urm... Nevermind."

    "It wasn't really me! It was my long lost twin brother!"

    Or maybe...
    unicornbooty.com/.../ALIENS-guy.jpg

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course it's okay. If you care about your relationship with someone, you shouldn't cheat on them. His actions WERE the explanation. If YOU want to talk about things and try to work it out or get closure, that's up to you, but what you did was well within your rights.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • If anybody is in a relationship kissing holding tightly , caressing, sexual acts in any situation with another, That person just threw you away out of his/her mind and soul.
    Love is not just when it is convenient. it probably never was to begin with.

    You are not wrong at all that creep doesn't deserve you. He doesn't cherish you.
    You need someone who will cherish you where ever you are far or near. Love is stronger than anyone else could penetrate. no pun intended

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    • Agreed. and the only reason he wants to talk is to try and convince you that it was a mistake or that he still loves you or some clouded bullshit when really he's just trying to cover his own ass.

      Nexxxxxt.

  • I don't believe you are seriously asking this question... You are entitled to kick his ass to the curb without giving an explanation or receiving an explanation... And honestly, what is there to talk about? He's a dirty low life cheater... End of story!

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  • I'd let them know I'm breaking up with them because they are cheating

    I think it is good to let someone know why they are being broken up with otherwise they may just assume that it was because you are a callous jerk or something. letting the guy know that you are breaking up with him because he is cheating makes it very clear that the cheating is not acceptable and you clearly have a legit reason for ending things

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  • You owe him no explanation if what you saw is what it is. However, the brain is too good to cloud and twist our judgement.

    We selectively see what we want or can see. Once a piece of detail is added to what we have supposedly perceived, it causes a shift in our thinking and judgement. It's for that reason that you owe him an explanation.

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  • You're not wrong you gave him fair warning

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  • Your call. He might want more, but you are under NO obligation. :/

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  • No, you're not wrong. His so-called "talking about the situation" means you accepting his behavior. If you have zero tolerance for that then stand your ground. If you forgive him then you will lower the bar and he will learn that he can get away with that behavior. Stay strong!

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  • no for him to kiss another girl displays his mindset and moral boundaries.

    if you want him to hurt the most. silent treatment will do the job. he'll go nuts and desperate for your validation, then disbelief sets in, then needing for closure will make him a philosopher... upto you

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  • Well I have a question when try were kissing did he kiss first? Or was it that she kiss hi! m... if u couldnt tell then was it like just a quick kiss or long kiss. Because if it was I long kiss with tonuge the you made the right choice 😊 I hate guys that cheat it make my want to hit them

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  • Id talk to them, but not explaining is justifiable because you were hurt. In my eyes its best to let them know why

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  • Yes, I believe so.

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  • Everyone should talk when relating to each other

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  • You did the right thing

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  • I think give him one more chance and don't give him anything special like sex, just kissing and hugging and stuff alike, he deserves a 2nd chance but not a out of jail free card

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  • Girls don't care what they do to guys

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  • You did the right thing.

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  • There's nothing to talk about. He cheated. good for you

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  • You warned him and did what you said you would. Your not wrong at all he is.

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  • You can always give someone a 2nd chance, but if he really meant what he said, then give him that chance.

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  • Should have at least let him explain

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  • Uh no, you're not wrong for not trying to talk things out, but does he know you saw him kiss someone else? Just breaking up without telling him isn't very right. But no, there's no excuse to explain away cheating so good for you not putting up with it

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  • Explain what!!! Move on

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  • They'd get the idea if you caught them.

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What Girls Said 17

  • There isn't really anything to 'talk out' if he cheated on you, much less if you caught him red-handed. Why would he deserve an explanation with behaviour like that?

    You've done nothing wrong in my opinion.

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  • Yes.

    And he'll know what the explanation is.

    Except if he's dumb enough to cheat he probably doesn't have enough brain cells to actually understand reasoning about anything.

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  • No it's not wrong to break up with him because he cheated. It's only wrong that you didn't say you caught him kissing some other girl, guys need closure too.

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  • You don't owe a cheater shit. But if he is claiming you are wrong for breaking things off then I'd give him a piece of my mind and tell him something like "sorry but I don't cheaters" and then I'll just block him.

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  • Oh... you're wrong for breaking things off without discussing the situation? Did he discuss kissing this other girl with you before that took place? Probably not. He's the one who effectively ended it. He's just not happy about having to live with the consequences of his actions. Nope, you did the right thing. Just stick to it.

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  • Does he need an explanation for his behavior? No. Don't let him try and manipulate you into talking him back.

    People who cheat, unless they were so intoxicated that they couldn't think clearly, cheat without even thinking about how their actions effect the people close to them.

    Once a cheater, always a cheater. Yes, some do change, but if you give him a second chance, you'll always wonder if he'll do it again.

    Trust has been broken.

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    • So intoxicated people are excused?

    • @Calex I don't think it's excusable either way. I, personally, would be more forgiving if it happened when they were plastered out of their mind that they didn't know up from down. If it happened when they were drunk, I would realm to them about it. If it happened again, the relationship would end.

      However, people CAN use the excuse that they were drunk just to sleep around, so I think trust would be broken either way.

  • Aaah yeaaah

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  • I am a strong believer once you cheat there is no way of repairing it.

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  • No he knows why, if you talk to him he may try to break you down.

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  • Yes, he will have to find out what he did to you by himself, he should know what he did to you anyways

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  • I'm sort of in the middle about that; a part of me would be so heartbroken that I would do what you did, leave and never speak to him again. But, the other part of me would be curious to know his side of the story. But regardless, he'd have to have a pretty damn good reason for kissing another girl while in (what I would assume to be) a committed relationship.

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  • Yes, it's fair. If I don't cheat (and never have), I expect the same in return.

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  • yes

    filler

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    • Now that I think about it. What is there to talk about? He knew going into this relationship, what would happen if he cheated. Tell him you caught him cheating and nothing more because you don't owe him anything.

  • I would break it off too.
    👍

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  • Like for seriously, kick his fucking ass, you already saw enough "you were wrong-" lIKE WTF IS HE THINKING? holy i will gladly slap him right in the face that's how we talk things out baby, you did the right thing.

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  • wait til you're an adult...

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  • Really? HE cheats and HE accuses YOU to be wrong for not talking about the situation? You do not have to give him any explanation, perhaps the other way around... Sorry, I have no compassions for cheaters. He is clearly trying to manipulate you. You were honest from the beginning: "You cheat, I'm gone." Stick to your words! I am sure you will find someone that shows you respect. Hugs.

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