Should I have just not have messaged him?

I managed to break no contact with my ex at day 14 and the answers that I have been wanting to know finally came out. I'm extremely hurt, he lied to me and lead me on. He's choosing the girl that he left me for all over again, even though he said that he's not going to get back with her. He told me from the beginning before I contacted him that it would be pointless because I'm not going to like what he has to say. I wasn't poking for questions, I just wanted to talk and tell him how I felt. Towards the end some of the things he said pierced my heart. One of the things that he told me was all that I have of him were memories and his ex has his heart. They were only together for a month I don't see how he could have been so in love with her. He says it isn't about her, but it always has been. She's the reason why we aren't together. Anyways, I was trying to talk to my ex without offending him and he thinks that I'm blaming him for what happened in the past. Basically we were talking not dating he liked me and I liked him, my ex didn't like the fact that I was talking to other guys. Well we weren't officially together. He's all about if I talk to that one person I talk to that one. They were just friends, I didn't have any interest in them whatsoever, we were all just friends that lived out of state. We talk some more and I apologized for what I did in the past and I took blame as usual. Then he tells me not to text him again. I felt so stupid that I texted him, I wish I never did. I feel hurt and humiliated. I told him not to do this, i asked if he was sure no answer. So I went off on him in a hurt emotional rage. I was confused about some things like when I said, "you wanted to be friends, isn't that you wanted?" and he didn't say anything. Then I asked if he wanted me to move on after I said that's what I have to do and no response. I'm confused about all this. I don't know if he meant what he said about us never seeing each other because of our LDR.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly how this situation feels, it sucks... so much. I know all you want is for him to give you answers that will make you feel better about what happened between you two, but honestly that doesn't matter anymore. He is your ex, he should no longer have an affect on your life. I know that this is easier said than done, but he shouldn't even matter to you anymore, he is going to regret leaving you and he'll know that he made a mistake so the best thing you can do is move on and make him feel like an idiot for not keeping you when he had you. And don't be embarrassed, everyone has had that "crazy exgirlfriend" moment, so don't feel bad about it.

    • I'm confused. He seemed so flip floppy, one minute he seemed like he wanted me to stick around and wait for him to see if things work out the next he wants me to go. He said I was just talking to him to get answers, but that wasn't the case. I just wanted a casual conversation and to tell him how I felt. I told him I know that it's already over. He didn't respond to that. I told him that I can't wait around for him to decide what he wants and he says, "ok move on and be happy" I asked him do you want me to move on and no response. He kept making me feel like he wanted me around then he wanted me to go. He said, "that we'll never get back together" (due to the past). I apologize towards the end of our conversation and he said, "don't text me again". I see this pattern that is going on with him and he needs to stop before he hurts anyone else. He can't make up his mind first it was me, then her, then me, then her. It's like he gets bored and hops back and forth. I don't know if he means

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    • You shouldn't worry about how he feels, you seem worried that he's gonna hurt himself... don't worry about if he is hurting himself because he isn't worried about hurting you. My ex left me for a girl a year ago then came back and left me about 2 months ago again for the same girl, and it didn't even work out between them, so the fact the he goes back on forth on both of you means he doesn't know what he's doing and it will probably never work out between either of you for him. Just remember that he obviously doesn't care about hurting you, so you shouldn't be worried about him getting hurt.

    • That's true. I'm just really hurt at the things he said.

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  • It doesn't matter anymore, he's an ex now. Why would you want someone back in your life who lied, hurt you and hasn't and is not putting you first. You're wasting your time, you're entitled to feel however you want but you can't expect him to feel extremely bad if he doesn't.

    • I told him off. I said some pretty harsh things, and honest things. I feel bad for saying some things, but not all. I'm going to move on and find someone who treats me better and doesn't break my heart.

    • Exactly that's the attitude to have!

  • you are in a LDR and they rarely work. If he left you to be with someone else he was not worth getting back together with as the doubts in his mind mean he is not the sort to be able to actually do a LDR successfully, Some people can do it and some cannot.

    I think deep down you need to realise this, his answers are irrelevant and if you had have been closer to hhim he would have picked you.

    • I told him that it isn't fair. He lives an hour away from me she doesn't live very far from him. He talked about coming to see me all the time. He said that he wanted to make things work with me now he changed his mind. He doesn't really want to be with her she's just there. He says that he loves her, but can't see him getting back with her. I don't think he really knows what he wants. He says he doesn't want me and he says that he loves her, but doesn't want to be with her. Some questions he answered others he didn't.

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    • trust me, you will find someone else... this guy isn't the one :( x

    • Our flame has been burnt out. I thought that we were going to make things work, but I guess not. I think what hurts the most is when you know that something or someone is wrong for you, but yet you pursue them anyways hoping for a different outcome. I knew it was wrong to take him back, I knew that if I dos I'd end up hurt all over again, but I texted him anyways. If I would have just ignored him I probably wouldn't be where I'm at today.

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