Can a man only have care for his ex girlfriend but no longer have feelings for her?

7 months into the break up, my ex boyfriend and I are still communicating with each other. Although the communication is more on a friendly tone, he still do care about me in general. He told me to move on but I don't think he really meant what he said. As far I know him, he is a person who likes to put a test on anybody to see their reaction. But lately, when I call him or text him, he would reply very late and often cut short the conversation or a one liner text response. Sometimes he is rude in his words to me but when I didn't call him or response to his text, he would reach out for me.

I still trying to get back with him but its getting harder and harder everytime.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Caring and loving can sometimes be taken to mean the same thing. As you know, you can care for someone without necessary loving them. Each one of us carries a sense of humanity that makes identify with a fellow human being. This pushes us to care for the other. That explains the care he still offers to you.

    In some instances, the care offered to someone could driven by serving our own malignant motive. Think about a kidnapper caring to their hostage to extract some outcome.

    7 months is too long to continue to win an ex lover back. Preferably, wean yourself off of trying to win him back. The alternative is better than what you've been doing over the last 7 months.

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    • Thank you for your response. I agree when you said 7 months is too long to continue to win back my ex. But in between the 7 months, we got back for a month then he was distancing himself again after a petty argument.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well why would you want to be with someone who would test you. You want to be with someone who isn't going to toy with your emotions or take it for granted. People who want to be with eachother let them know

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    • He wasn't toying with my emotions. Before the breakup, he already planned a future with me. It was my fault he broke up with me. For me, he is a kind man who do anything to make me happy but I blew it with my insecurities. I know he likes to put a test to his friends so I was just assuming that he was putting a test on me when he said to move on. This is because after he had said that, he still communicate with me and ask about my well being.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You're not going to get back together and that's never a good idea

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    • why do you think its a hopeless situation for getting back?

    • He isn't interested. You'd just break up again for the same reason

  • No just walk away, you don't want so mine who plays mind games. That's immature and will bring you hurt. By the way you can still care about a ex without loving them, I care about mine and talk to them all the time, even about there new relationships. But that's not what you have

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  • Sounds like he is not interested in getting back with you.

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    • You are saying that he only care for me but no longer have any romantic feelings for me?

What Girls Said 3

  • Please do not torture yourself move on. He might be keeping communication with you as a back up for sex but whatever his motives he can't give you what you need.

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  • No that not possible he still has feeling for his ex. No you leave him and don't mess with him ever again.

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  • Is it a possibility that he is currently seeing someone (and perhaps did not tell you)?

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    • I am of the opinion that he might be seeing someone else but I will just wait and see what it will turn out to be, win or lose him.

    • Yeah, that is my suspicion. The fact that he is very late in answering suggests that he has a distraction. And his telegraphic texts suggest that he is with someone else and cannot spend time with you.
      His being rude might be his (unconscious) way to take the distance. He might not be ready to tell you about this other person, either because he does not have the guts to (he does not want to hurt you), or because he is unsure about her and not ready to let you go. He seems confused!
      Either way, your plans sounds perfect. Wait and see what happens. Do not rush him, but please do not wait for him - go on with your life! No contact for a while could help him understand what he wants: if he wants you, he must speak clearly. Do not let him sit on two chairs! If he is seeing someone else and you keep contact, you will get stuck in the friend zone. No contact might help you too: perhaps he is not the one you want, perhaps you will find someone new!
      I am sorry you are going through this. Hugs.

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