Message to send to my long distance girlfriend a few days after break up?


Me and my ex broke up a few days ago. It was my fault, I was lashing out a lot because I was unreasonably jealous and she said she needed space. We were going to see each other in a few weeks so naturally I freaked the fuck out, spammed texted her for forgivness and that I'd change. The last text I sent her was that I was going to give her space and that I was sorry for going overboard but she just said she was fed up and ended it. It wasn't messy, we went back and forth and I agreed with everything she said and didn't lash out.

I was going off at her more often in our last month because I couldn't get a job, had a lot of family problems and was drinking a lot. That and I hadn't slept a full night in fuck knows how long. I haven't said a word since the break up. I removed her from Facebook because I knew if I saw her face I might be tempted to beg again and she followed it up by blocking me entirely. She left me on snapchat but blocked me after she saw something I posted on my story (just me applying for another job, wasn't meant to be directed at her). She still has me on Instagram though and posted a picture of her and her friend smiling and happy saying she wouldn't have gotten through "the move" without her.

I'm not sure if she blocked my number. I'm afraid to see but I want to see her in a few weeks and will do anything to try and mend things. It was supposed to be the last time we saw each other before ending on a positive note. I got a job the other day, been getting a full nights rest and am planning on buying a truck soon. I want to tell her these things to show I'm changing and maybe she'll reconsider. I know most people say to wait a month but I don't have that kind of time. My advantage is that the closer we get to her coming home the more she'll be reminded that I'll be in the area and it might make her want to hear me out again.

All I want to say is "hey I'm sorry I didn't make things easy for you the past month. We were both stressed but I was pretty immature about it. I think your decision was good for both of us. When emotions run high logic runs low, you know? I got a job though! And I'm looking into buying a truck. Hope you and Max (her dog) are doing well!" either tomorrow or Sunday.
Ok if the message is bad can someone suggest a better one?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Change doesn't happen over night you need to give it time. I can probably tell you she won't reconsider any time soon, but showing her that you're able to be okay, you don't depend on her and you want to be better for yourself and not just her goes a long way. Maybe don't text her for a while, if you guys are going to see each other in a few weeks then wait till then. I understand you want to share this good news with her but to her it may seem you're not doing it for yourself and infact doing it for her which can be uncomfortable.

    • Yea that's true. I told her I'd change for her a million times during my episode so yea it might be a bad idea. I want to tell her so many things... it's hard. I didn't change "for her", I changed because it was ruining my life; alcoholism killed my relationships with a lot of friends and family and sapped me of my motivation. When I realized it was killing my relationship too I knew I had to do something but I was too late. I changed because of her, but not for her.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't send it. I know you want closure, but you need to give it more time. In a few months, when things are been better for longer, then send her something apologizing. If you do it now it's going to look like your just trying to say what she wants to hear to get her back

    • I won't be able to see her in a few months. This will literally be the last time. I'm going into the Navy in March.

    • Then go for it. But be ready for her to still not want you back.

    • That's fair. I'll wait until it's been a week and a few days. After that I really have nothing to lose. Still I need time for us to be able to reconnect.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • DON'T send this! Just leave her alone.

    • Why not out of curiosity? I know she needs space, I'm willing to wait a week and all but I really want to see her. I'm trying to relax, I did what a lot of people do when their relationship is ending and panicked. I just want to at least end on better terms even if I don't get to see her because I really loved her.

    • Show All
    • That's true. She gets here on like the 21st or something. It'd break my heart knowing she's here and I ruined my chance at seeing her. She's forgiven me pretty quickly a lot in the past and never brought up old fights but I guess it built up and she was sick of dealing with it every weekend. How long should I wait?

    • I am really not sure how long you want wait. But if you want her back than I am guessing as soon as possible!

What Guys Said 2

  • Forget it and move on.

  • The good guy message may make it worst

    • Well what should I say? What about "Hey something pretty great happened" and hope she get back to me.

    • Tell I changed to better and I will fix everything but I'm still. jealous bc normal healthy men get jealous that's normal. Also say I still love and I want u the only girl in my life so would u give our relationship another chance or no? Pls yes or no.

      No grey area if u give her a chance to put u in grey area nothing will solved she will play it more. All n all up to but that's my suggestion.

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