How can you be friends with an ex after they dumped you?

For all of you who stayed friends with your ex (1+ year relationship), I wonder what did you tell yourself when stepping into a friendship?

Personally, for me, accepting to be just friends is basically saying "Okay, I forgive you and agree and understand that I am not good enough for you or worthy enough for a girlfriend, so I'll be your friend and act like it never happened, because you are right and I'm rewarding you my friendship for it."

I would really really love to be friends with my ex who I dated for 4 years, but knowing that I did apsolutelly nothing wrong, that I was amazing and he still couldn't see me as the one in the end, is preventing me to ever be close to him again. He lost his feelings and broke up because he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, or better said he didn't want to be in a relationship WITH ME anymore for whatever reason, labeling me unworthy of his love, effort and commitment, with the hope of finding someone who will be worthy, like he is a fucking God.

I know I'm not the only one, this shit happens all the time and people just burry their worth with accepting the friendship offer. It's basically proving to them that they were right about you, that you are nothing but a buddy. I refuse to do this. It's not because I have feelings for him, it's not because I want more, it's not because I will be jealous of his new girfriends, it's simply because I-don't-agree with him. I think I am THE girlfriend material in all its shapes, and if he can't see that, then he can kiss my non-friendly ass. I-Worth-More.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Every healthy relationship that you have - both friendships and romantic relationships - require mutuality of respect and trust. It is difficult to imagine feeling mutual respect for someone who has rejected me and told me that I am not good enough. I concur with your assessment.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I always try to end things on a positive note. If a friendship is possible after ending a relationship I'm all for it. I think it's better than having to hate that person forever, it takes up too much energy.

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What Guys Said 5

  • breaking up it doesn't mean you aren't good enough or worthless, it just mean the other person didn't realize how much you are special. what you've been through is normal because you love other so much and forget you're also special... Self-esteem. believe me, love won't turn into friendship. you think you need a second chance to prove your point in your relationship with your ex, in fact there is nothing need to be prove. all you need is to prove to yourself that you're special and deserve a chance to be (yourself+far away from people who don't appreciate your presence in their lives).

    in the end (there is no difference between the color of the salt and sugar color
    both have the same color, but you'll know the difference after the experiment)

    Good luck...

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  • You make a really good point. Me and my ex just got on talking terms this last weekend.. I donno how I can be friends. She wanted to marry me then next day wants to be free. 2 years thrown away.. When I did nothing but take car of her and treated her any girl should be treated! I feel worthless. I don't know how seeing her with someone else will be. I don't know

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  • I don't believe its as common as you're thinking. I don't know why either says "I just want to be friends" when the reality is neither will be friends after a breakup. Its said a lot but mostly its a lie

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  • I bury my past, so no

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  • You can't; cut the cord and let him go.

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What Girls Said 0

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