For all of you who stayed friends with your ex (1+ year relationship), I wonder what did you tell yourself when stepping into a friendship?
Personally, for me, accepting to be just friends is basically saying "Okay, I forgive you and agree and understand that I am not good enough for you or worthy enough for a girlfriend, so I'll be your friend and act like it never happened, because you are right and I'm rewarding you my friendship for it."
I would really really love to be friends with my ex who I dated for 4 years, but knowing that I did apsolutelly nothing wrong, that I was amazing and he still couldn't see me as the one in the end, is preventing me to ever be close to him again. He lost his feelings and broke up because he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, or better said he didn't want to be in a relationship WITH ME anymore for whatever reason, labeling me unworthy of his love, effort and commitment, with the hope of finding someone who will be worthy, like he is a fucking God.
I know I'm not the only one, this shit happens all the time and people just burry their worth with accepting the friendship offer. It's basically proving to them that they were right about you, that you are nothing but a buddy. I refuse to do this. It's not because I have feelings for him, it's not because I want more, it's not because I will be jealous of his new girfriends, it's simply because I-don't-agree with him. I think I am THE girlfriend material in all its shapes, and if he can't see that, then he can kiss my non-friendly ass. I-Worth-More.
Most Helpful Guy
Every healthy relationship that you have - both friendships and romantic relationships - require mutuality of respect and trust. It is difficult to imagine feeling mutual respect for someone who has rejected me and told me that I am not good enough. I concur with your assessment.1
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, I always try to end things on a positive note. If a friendship is possible after ending a relationship I'm all for it. I think it's better than having to hate that person forever, it takes up too much energy.0