Is drunk cheating really cheating? Even if you aren't officially together?

So this guy and i have been best friends for about two years. And we found out several months ago that we've both liked each other for a long time. We aren't officially together though because we live sort of far from each other. But recently he went to a party got drunk and ended up doing "it" with one of his friends. I really dont know how to feel about it because he obviously is hating himself for what he did. But i dont really know if its cheating? i just i dont know what think or feel or do. I guess i just want some peoples oppinions or knowlegde on being drunk and cheating and stuff (i dont drink so)

Updates:
We are basically together. And have been for several months its just not "officially official"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm rather certain drunk murder is really murder so...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Being drunk doesn't change anything at all
    2. You guys aren't together but you like each other and one person sleeps with someone else. Id be pretty upset

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What Guys Said 10

  • Well, if you really haven't dated I don't call it cheating. It is still a douchebag move for sure though!

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  • drunk isn't an excuse, unless it was for something funny that people can laugh at.

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  • "Cheating" only means something if it's relative to the agreements you have. In other words, if you have an open relationship, then sex isn't cheating, but not being honest is.

    So, first, what were your agreements? Secondly, getting drunk doesn't excuse one's behavior in any way.

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  • Wyd are you serious? No its not cheating because you both were too dumb and immature to label each other smdh

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  • is drunk driving also driving or not? Because if not the police department should start reinstating drivers licenses to people...

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  • Yes it is, you're still responsible when you're out drinking. You should expect for random things to happen when drunk, specially when your partner isn't there with you and there are a lot of singles there.

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  • If u are not dating then kinda is not cheating. Oh and alcohol is never an excuse for cheating.

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  • Ya I wouldn't date u after u hoed around

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  • YES IT IS !!!

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  • I don't see why him being drunk would be that much of a difference. even when someone is drunk they should be able to control there actions to some degree. anyways for this situation I see you and him aren't even together so he didn't cheat on you at that party , your not even a couple yet. but if you were really a couple and if he did this than it would be cheating

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What Girls Said 16

  • It's not cheating at all BUT I know ur hurting bc u like him & he likes u! the fact that he feels bad about it shows that he likes u bc if he didn't, he wouldn't care! So that's a good sign! BUT if y'all ever do get in a relationship, (in not saying he's a bad guy or anything) BUT I know I wouldn't want him around that certain friend again bc they had sex! That's just me tho! I personally don't like when people drink at parties with the opposite sex bc those types of things happen which sucks if u like them or want to be with them! But are y'all platonic friends or have y'all been sexual before? if y'all HAVE been sexual before, that could be another reason why y'all are feeling bad about the situation !

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  • If you aren't exclusive then it's not cheating.

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  • It's not cheating at all wtf

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  • If you're making some sort of commitment to each other relationship-wise, even if it's not totally official I would consider it cheating on some level. Drunk or not.

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  • It's like driving buzzed and saying it's not really drunk driving. It is what it is.
    So, the answer to your question? Yes, it's cheating. Sex took place while he was intoxicated, it still doesn't dismiss the fact that he did, in fact, have sex with another girl. I would be careful with this one hun.

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  • Girl. Cheating is cheating.

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  • It's not _cheating_ because you guys aren't together, but OF COURSE it was a bad thing because he knows how much it would hurt you and he still did it. I don't know, I used to be very strict when it came to "cheating" saying I wouldn't accept anything, but I've loosen up a bit lately and I think that everything has to do with the circumstances and everyone can make mistakes (I'm talking about people like you that aren't in a relationship yet). I think you should let him know how much it hurt you, that you know you're not together but you have feelings for him so it still hurts to know what he did, and that you don't want this to happen again, and maybe from there you can discuss about actually becoming girlfriend boyfriend? Good luck xoxox

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  • 1. Being drunk doesn't change if it's cheating or not.
    2. I don't think it's cheating but if you guys are sleeping together and being romantic that's a betrayal to me.

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  • Yes cheating is cheating.

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  • It's called cheating, isn't it?

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  • any type of cheating is cheating, whether drunk or sober.

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  • "Drunk actions are sober thoughts" but honestly... being drunk you still kinda know what you're doing... and in a legal sense, you're still responsible for everything you do drunk.

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  • Yes it is cheating. If you got into a serious relationship with him... would you trust him when he went to parties or out with his friends? There are no reasons for cheating, just excuses. If I couldn't trust my boyfriend while drunk, I certainly wouldn't trust him while sober either I would end it.

    I want my boyfriend to want me when he's drunk and horny, not a girl who is by his side at the time

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  • If you run over someone's baby while drunk, will you still feel responsible for it? I think he's still responsible for his actions.

    Sure, it isn't technically cheating, but he still can't keep it in his pants. He may have feelings for this other girl that were able to be expressed with his guard down from the alcohol. If you both want to be together, then why is he stringing you along with this "not officially official" stuff anyway?

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  • A) yes. B) no, but you have the right to have hurt feelings and be skeptical.

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  • I think you should go with your gut feeling. If you feel betrayed then obviously you guys have reached an impasse.

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