Do EX's always come back?

I broke up with my boyfriend almost 2 months ago. We got into a fight. He said some hurtful stuff. I was really upset. so i ended it. we where living together. Also we have dated before, broke up then deiced to get back together in July. Most of the time we where good together. But we had been fighting a lot. i miss him a lot and have been thinking about how we could make the relationship better if we tried again. Im 25, he'll be 25 next month. I dont have a lot of experience dating. So I've also been tiring to work on myself.
So my question is. IS it worth it to try to get my ex back?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not very experienced in relationships personally, but I do have knowledge on a few things that people tend to not know.

    One thing is - how much time have you lasted together in a relationship, and how much time of that collectively, have you spent time together, physically? Spending too much time together can be just as bad as spending too little time together. Spending too much time can lead to a break-down in communication, knowing everything, such as, how their day (at work or otherwise) has been; how is their family members; how are their friends, etc... Everyday questions, things like that.

    Another is - Love can be broken into 4 words (Security, Honesty, Respect, and Trust), if you don't have one you don't have any, therefore, there's no relationship - how could you love someone who you DON'T feel secure, you can't trust, who doesn't respect you, or someone who is dishonest to you?

    I had gone back a third time with an "ex," thinking 3rd time lucky, unfortunately it wasn't lucky, but I did find out that she was using me, so that WAS lucky.

    As Byron said, weigh up the "pros" & "cons," as I do when getting a new car. These pros and cons need to be to your (dis-) liking. Weigh every aspect you can think of to mark him on, both physically and on his personality.

    As I've said earlier, spending too much time together physically can cause problems in relationships, and I have seen plenty of relationships end due to this.

    I also think the subject of the arguments needs to be talked about by the pair of you in a civilized manner if you were serious about trying again. People say evil things in the heat of the moment, yet it wasn't meant. Even I have said things in the heat of the moment to my parents, but it's the sort of thing to let thing calm down (taking as much time as needed), before the issue can then be raised and spoken about in a calm and civilized manner, like adults.

    So, the ultimate question. Is it worth getting back with an ex? By heeding my advice as above, only you can truly answer that question yourself, my love. It's everybody's $64,000 question. If you find you can't get on in a relationship, perhaps you should think possibly that you could only work well as friends, and that is if you still want him in your life. In this situation, I would personally think that friendship may be the only way. There is a girl that I like, unfortunately, she's seeing my cousin, so in my case, friendship IS my ONLY option for NOW.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • were you fighting because of PMS? i am dealing with that. i used to break up with him because of my PMS... then he couldn't stand it.. and ended it with me this time... i to am wondering if i should get back... i am giving him some space.. its only been a week. we were very loving before the PMS fight.

    the other times you two broke up, how long was it break and who broke up? who made up?

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    • The other he broke up with me. We pretty much didn't talk for a year then he wanted to get back together. We had a fight cause He got upset cause I had thrown away the box that his dish set came in & said I don't think & it's ruining our relationship. We had got a notice the night before saying he had 10 days to move out. Cause he's wasn't on my lease & wasn't suppose to be living with me. So he was in a bad mood cause if that

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    • I don't know. He won't even talk to
      Me.

    • just messaged u

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Only you can answer this question young Lady. I wouldn't take back an X for one simple reason. Before they became an X I weighed out all the pro's and con's of having that person in my life before the split. If they are an X the list didn't weigh out well

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  • if he wants to get back then you have to set some boundaries, talk to each other and work on it if you really love each other, otherwise you are doomed.

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  • It happens in every relationship, getting back is not the solution, 1st both of you must realize why it happened, the root causes, and eradicate them. So that it won't happen again.
    Yes definitely you can go back, if he's also willing.
    But both of you must work out on your past behavior so future life pass on loving each other. :-)

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  • No, it is not worth getting back. Move on, find a better boyfriend and let ex suffer :P

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  • Do you think it's worth it to go back, get hurt again, and repeat those cycle again? Even though you may still have feelings for him, I would recommend you to stop, stay away from him for a while, and move on to find a better guy than your ex. But if you feel happy when you are with him and what he has done is forgivable, then it's really up to you.

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  • if you want him why you 'fight tg... try it talking with each other for any problem

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  • Yes it is "worth it"... of course it is!!! But, have you really spent enough time working on yourself to enter back into this relationship and accept how your ex is or handle tough situations involving him better?

    It is only after you've self reflected and done some deep emotional controlling that you should reapproach the idea of getting back with an ex.

    I have no idea what it is that caused the break up and getting back together but this tells me that whatever it was.. was a reoccurring issue. That will have to be address before you get back and not repeat the same mistake.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Not always but sometimes they do. Though it's never good to get back with your ex. Since it can end up going back and forth. On breaking up and getting together.

    This 1 ex I had we kept getting together and breaking up over and over for 2yrs. After that I just gave up and said fuck it I can't do this anymore. Then 2 months later I met my amazing boyfriend that i'm still with. ^^

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  • I am a couple months post break up and I still miss my ex and he tried to reconcile a couple days later, but the damage was already done. He said some damn hurtful things to me too that showed he wasn't as committed as he claimed he was. He may come he may not, if you aren't planning to take him back why worry about it? I know how hard it is to find out the person you loved never truly loved you back, but the more you hope and think about it, the less likely you can move on. Your ex did the damage and he will never respect you or appreciate you, let him go and live your life.

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  • In my experience, and from everyone else I've spoken to, the answer is no. If you haven't been able to make it work all the times you tried, and remained a couple whilst you worked on your issues (instead of break up), then it's just not the right relationship for you, because it's not healthy, or fulfilling, if you've both given up on it before.

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    • But what if it was a decision made out of anger & based on your fellings?

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    • I know :/ I don't have a late of experience with relationships

    • So work on you, before even thinking of a relationship again :)

  • Couples that constantly fight, break up and get back together again are dysfunctional and need a reality check.

    "On and off" relationships are for broken and unstable people who seem to have point scoring at the core, rather than love, compromise and respect.

    If you broke up simply because you were too emotional and angry, you're not ready to be in a relationship in the first place.

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  • You're still young. It might be a good idea to explore and meet other people. As much as you love him, it just might not be the best match—you can love someone and still not be soul mates. I think if you found someone that you got along with better, you would reconsider.

    You two are so young, you might just be growing apart...

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  • I don't think things ever go back to the first time you date someone. After a break up you see a lot of the flaws that the person showed which ended the relationship. And when you live with a person , sometimes the sense of having no privacy or alone time can damage the relationship as well. Think of the reasons why it didn't work out & if you're plans would really help. Sometimes we miss & are so used to our exes or loved one , that we just deal with unhappiness because we're afraid of change.

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  • I think if you have to question it, then it's not worth. It's great to work and build on yourself.

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  • do they ALWAYS come back? no... not always, but some can yea. some exs just miss the attention and text cause theyre lonely. but honestly it doesn't mean they have changed.

    for the relationship to work, they have to change things about them that hurt you in the first place, and you can't force them to change only they can change for themselves. if he said hurtful things to you that were unbearable and unforgivable then chances are he is going to do it again in the future, so if you take him back, you have to accept this. it can even become emotional or verbal abuse.

    i personally advise u to date other men and try to move on. and if he truly misses u too, and wants to change on his own, let him come to you. let him do the work to get you back in your life. otherwise dont be a fool to chase him again cause it will give him the approval to just hurt you again.

    i made that mistake with my ex, and he saw me as easy, and he continued to hurt me and break my heart even stood me up for our date. and i had to walk away and never talked to him again. he texted me after but i never trusted him again. do i miss the happy times? yes i do, but i know if i reach out to him again and well say some romantic things and make up, i know he will just hurt me all over again and the cycle continues. sometimes you just have to accept that people won't change and that you are not compatible with them, and overall you deserve someone better. and in order to find your soulmate, you have to be single and not hung over an ex. so i say work on yourself and never settle for less. because marriage isn't a happy ending and is not a game, and i never want to be a divorced woman so i won't settle for a half-good man.

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  • Yes if you believe that you guys can be better and really love each other.

    How long did you guys date for?

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    • We have a complicated history. We first started dating last yea ( for 2months). Then broke up pretty much didn't talk for a year. In July he messed me saying he was sorry for how he treated me & he missed me. & wanted a second chance. So we started dating again. He was living in Alabama at the time & moved in with me when he moved back to WA. So we dated for almost 3months & lived together for about a month

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    • He won't talk to me :/ i think if we both work on things we could make it work

    • Just give him space and after awhile try talking to him again

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