Am I his second option?

He broke up with me 8 months ago and ever since then he has been in constant contact sometimes acting like a boyfriend and other times like a friend. He recently told me he contacted his ex fiancé because he was depressed. She has a boyfriend and two children so I don't know why she is even talking to him. He also told me he is seeing someone but when I got upset he said he was lying and wanted to see how I would react. But I think he was telling the truth. He texts me at least 2-3 times a week but every conversation leds to him mentioning sex and wanting nude pictures of me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It looks like this guy is using you as a distraction... he is playing with your feelings! He acts like a boyfriend sometimes (=he does not want to lose his narcissistic supply... offering you a sweet to make sure you stick around and pursue him), he acts like a friend sometimes (=he takes some distance, he passively lets you know that you are only a friend), he always ends up talking about sex (that is exactly what he wants from you... nothing more!). This guy is a selfish individual that shows you no respect... don't let him treat you like this!! I would recommend shutting down any communication and moving on. You should have done this 8 months ago... this guy is not worth any second of your time. He said he is seeing someone? Believe him and move on.

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    • You are so right, thank you so much for helping me with my question, your answer is everything that I've been thinking but couldn't put into the right words.

    • You are very welcome! I might be wrong - it is impossible to figure out what is going on in someone else's head, every situation is peculiar. But you know all the details and are the best person to have the last word. But I feel have been in a similar situation myself and I see some correspondence. I read too much into every single thing my ex said or did. Everything was an excuse to give him another chance - I always hoped something would change. Useless to say, I was disappointed every time. I was so sad... One day I decided to put an end to this, told him clearly that I was done and ignored any of his attempts to get in contact. I tried to distract myself with activities I liked and eventually he was "forgotten." A lots of guys (and girls!) are like him... it would be nice if they all asked themselves "how would I feel if someone took advantage of me like I am taking advantage of her?" Love yourself - someone (much!) better for you is out there and perhaps you did not even notice! 💗

    • Also - I just read your comment below - he keeps telling you he comes to see you, but he never does? This is another way to keep you on a string - he makes promises (something he knows you really care about), but he never delivers... 30 minutes drive is *nothing* - if he really wanted to see you, he would make an effort! He is probably using his other ex as well... she has a boyfriend and two kids and by contacting her he might jeopardize her relationship. Why would he behave like this if he genuinely cared about you and about her? Because he cares about himself only.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like you're his sexual distraction.

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What Girls Said 1

  • do you two see ea other at all?

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    • No because we don't live in the same city but we are only 30 minutes away from each other. He has told me many times he was coming to see me and never does.

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