Did she cheat, or did she wait till after?

Hi guys and girls,

absolutely heart broken here and I need some help. I was in a relationship with a girl of 20 years old. Our relationship was amazing at first, then as of February it started to go downhill, which I do think is my fault, I began to become angry all the time and aggressive, not abusive I may add, just I would walk out of arguments and slam the door, etc etc. however she gave the relationship the usually 'we have to break up if this continues. Anyways it did continue, and the sex stopped, I was never an intimate person with her (wish I was. But I no know I suffered with anxiety) and I no she was an extremely emotional girl with such low self esteem.

she he was about to go to Ayia Napa anyways, and she asked if we were going to speak whilst she was away, I was so moody I said 'il talk to you when you get back' (yeah I no please don't remind me how stupid this is). Anyways I went to go and see her the day before, knocked on the door and she was in the back garden she said, but I just gave up and came home.

anyways she went away... From the photos it looks like a great time away on holiday for her and her friends.

She came home late at night then she text me the next day to meet up, I felt so jealous after seeing her with these guys that stayed in her hotel with her. So I replied 'remembered you have a boyfriend then'. Anyways we met up and she came out straight blank with 'I can't do this anymore' and she was very nervous to say to me. My reply was that I was shocked, and I constantly said to her you've cheated on me you've cheated on me. I tried to touch her and she wouldn't have anything of it. I left and took her things around and she just didn't seem to have a care in the world, I still tried to touch her and she cried and wouldn't. Anyway I continued to win her back, constant texting and she met up with me a few times (why?) then after about 3 weeks she text me first and asked sumin about her TV...

Updates:
Then a few days of my trying again to get her back, she came round, we talked and she kissed me, then cried and said I thought it was going to be ok between us but it's not. Then she finally told me a week later she had a peck with a boy on holiday 'he was just a boy' she said when I questioned her. Anyways she came round one night and I began kissing her then we had brief sex before someone walked in and she cried. She sed it's because I don't want the feelings to come back
Then after another month of me constantly asking her she sent me a letter after I sent her one saying 'I want you to know I didn't sleep with anyone on holiday'. As soon as the relationship broke up, she was partying all the time, changing hair and piercings, it was like we never existed! Then I also remember re her randomly saying to me 'il never have sex with anyone as good as you' we were quite naughty. However she finally told me after months and months that she's slept with someone else

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think you were not making her happy yes she loved you but you were not making her happy and now i will say to you better move on. she's better without you and you will be better without her.

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    • Thank you, yes I wasn't making her happy, she said that and I knew. I would just not understand she would cheat on a girly holiday and go back, to call it a rebound. A rebound usually after a relationship isn't it? And il never understand if she hated me that much she felt to go back to him when I was always still in the picture, self esteem boost?

    • i think she didn't now if she loved you anymore or no , that's why she came back to you. In the other side she hurt you but she was hurt too. She was testing herself and i think she found what she was looking for. And you said that she partying all the time trust me after i broke up with me boyfriend I also went to a lots of party but when i came back in my room i felt really bad... It does not mean that she felt better than you.. I hope you will be better and move on. xoxo

Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly, I believe that you must self reflect if you really don't want to lose maybe one final chance you have with her sometime but not now. Maybe she told you something also to keep you off, because you seem to be pretty intense with her. Or better said you seem very intense in general, even if love can drive people wild. It is not ok. Think for yourself where your anger issues actually come from.. the way you were raised, the traumas you experienced. If you follow a girl around like this, be not in control of your emotions or act childish: she will be turned off no matter how much she loves you. I am saying this blunt so it really hits you, not to judge you. Your only solution to your problem is to become a better person and it lead by example also for her. Women get emotional and go crazy if you are not stable, calm and confident. That is their nature. You must remain your posture and be humble towards change. Meaning take all the shit onto yourself and admit your own mistakes. You cannot change anyone else but yourself. This way she will respect you and there are always guys out there who are calm and in control of their emotions. She will go off with one of them if you don't change, because from what I hear she loves you but is not in love with you anymore. For her to be that, you have to change. Sorry if I am being harsh. But truth is always bitter

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's hard to say.

    However, I know this. Apparently, breaking up with you made her a much happier and joyfull person, so I guess it was the right thing to do after all, right? And you should move on and be happy too.

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    • This is good @ChocEyes
      You might just be one of those couples that is better off without each other, it happens there is nothing wrong with it, just you both at that stage of your life were not a good match

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